I Won't Say I Love You Part 2: The Lost
by Spunky0ne
Summary: Their marriage shattered by a heartbreaking loss, Byakuya and Ichigo are still in love, but unable to connect until a devastating attack yields a clue that could change everything. But can Ichigo convince his former flame to trust him again? Can Byakuya trust himself?...yaoi, mpreg…Ichigo/Byakuya, Renji/Tetsuya, Kisuke/Tama, Hinata/Satoshi.
1. Broken Home

**I Won't Say I Love You Part 2: The Lost**

 **By Spunky0ne**

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 **Their marriage shattered by a heartbreaking loss, Byakuya and Ichigo are still in love, but unable to connect until a devastating attack yields a clue that could change everything. But can Ichigo convince his former flame to trust him again? Can Byakuya trust himself?...yaoi, mpreg…Ichigo/Byakuya, Renji/Tetsuya, Kisuke/Tama, Hinata/Satoshi.**

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 **Chapter 1: Broken Home**

Kuchiki Byakuya laid quietly in his bed, taking slow breaths of the sweet air that seeped in from the fragrant gardens and trying to coax his body into enough relaxation that he could finally fall asleep. Out of the corner of one solemn grey eye, he observed the empty place that first Hisana, then Kurosaki Ichigo had once filled. He tried to only remember that happiness he had shared with each, but although he had long ago made peace with his wife's passing, Ichigo's departure from his life was more recent and, considering the circumstances, inherently more painful.

 _Not that losing Hisana was less meaningful_ , he mused inwardly, _but the weight of losing a child finds all of the cracks in a bond and seeps in like water, where it freezes and causes the cracks to widen into larger rifts. The relationship that Ichigo and I had was strong, but it was always fraught with deep passions. And once ignited by our loss, it burned us both._

He blinked slowly, focusing on the open garden doors and remembering the night, six years before, when his former husband had passed through them for the last time.

" _Ichigo, please do not leave," he pleaded softly, keeping his voice carefully lowered so that their remaining children would not hear, "I was not being offensive. I was simply reminding you that while not giving up hope, we have to think of Suki and Torao. They have lost their younger brother and it is horribly difficult for them to bear."_

" _You think I don't know that?" Ichigo snapped, "I get that they're hurting too. But if we don't keep looking…"_

" _I am not asking you to stop looking," Byakuya insisted, "I am only asking that you come to counseling with us so that…"_

" _But you know that means I won't be able to search for him the way I need to," Ichigo objected._

" _Ichigo, you are not thinking straight," Byakuya said, laying a hand on his husband's arm and looking into his furious ginger eyes, "You are diving on every hint of his presence, however small, not considering the sources properly or the validity of the claims. And you are gone for weeks at a time, while Suki and Torao…"_

" _Suki and Torao are handling this as well as can be expected!" Ichigo shouted, "The one who isn't handling it is you!"_

 _Byakuya stared at Ichigo, lost for words. Reading his espression, Ichigo felt a measure of his anger fade and his took his husband's hands in his._

" _I know you feel guilty because you were the one with Soujun when he disappeared, Byakuya. You know I don't blame you for any of that. But it seems like ever since that day, you afraid to let them leave home, to let them out of your sight for a second…to live, Byakuya!"_

" _Don't you dare…!"_

" _Suki and Torao are right here," Ichigo argued, "They are with a mountain of house security and you know damned well that Tetsuya and all of the staff aren't going to let anything happen to them. But you won't even…"_

" _I am focusing on the things that I have some control over!" Byakuya said heatedly, "You read the report, Ichigo. Soujun's reiatsu did not just recede. It disappeared. And despite every thin fiber of a clue you have followed, there has never once been anything that countered the Gotei's official conclusion that our son was killed!"_

" _I don't give a damn if the sources or the little hints don't meet your approval," Ichigo roared, "I am not giving up on my kid! HE IS OUT THERE AND I'M GOING TO FIND HIM!_ _And if you wanna sit here and ignore the fact that he may still be alive, go ahead. But you're going to do that without me."_

" _Ichigo…"_

"Dad?" a girls' trembling voice called from the doors he had been staring at blindly.

Byakuya caught his breath as he spotted his twelve-year-old daughter standing in the doorway, her arms wrapping around her slender body as though to protect her from the cold, and a fearful look in her grey and golden eyes.

"Suki," he greeted her quietly, sitting up in the bed and motioning for her to join him.

The girl shivered and pulled her robe more tightly around her slender frame as she crossed the room and sat down on the other side of the bed, sliding her legs under the covers to warm her lower extremities.

"You had a nightmare?" Byakuya asked.

"Mhmm," Suki admitted, sighing in relief as he felt her father's powerful reiatsu wrap around her, "Sorry, Dad. I tried the breathing and focusing that we worked on with Nao-san. It's just that the dream was so scary."

"Why don't you tell me about it," Byakuya suggested, sliding an arm around his daughter.

Suki shivered again, but managed a shaky smile as she felt Byakuya's warm, strong arm and sweet scent curl around her protectively.

"It was dark," the girl recounted, "I couldn't tell where it was, but I was there, only no one could see me. I tried to get up, but something was holding me down and I couldn't get it off. I could see you standing with your back to me and staring at something that was so white it was blinding me. Someone kicked a rock behind you and I screamed at you, but it was like you couldn't hear me. You didn't move and something hit you and made you fall!"

Byakuya hugged the girl against him and ran soothing fingers through her ginger hair, teasing the black ends as they fell away from his fingertips.

"It's all right," he assured her, "I am right here. I am not going anywhere, Suki."

"I know," the girl said, hugging him back and wiping away the threatening tears, "and I know it's probably just because Soujun died and Daddy Ichigo left. It's like Nao-san said. I guess I'm worried you'll leave too, even though I know you won't."

"Your concerns are perfectly reasonable," Byakuya said calmly, kissing the top of the girl's head and squeezing her hands, "Loss is never easy, and everyone grieves in his or her own way, child."

"But it's been a really long time," Suki said, sniffing softly and rubbing her eyes again, "We were little kids when it happened. It's getting harder to remember exactly what he looked like…how his voice sounded. Daddy Bya, I feel like I'm forgetting Soujun, even though I don't want to!"

Byakuya rubbed his daughter's back gently.

"It is true that, with time, the details in our memory fade, but you will never forget Soujun, and neither will the rest of us."

Suki bit at her lips and forced a nod into Byakuya's shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent as she began to relax slightly.

"I wish Daddy Ichigo would come back."

She stiffened as the unbidden words escaped her and her eyes sought Byakuya's apologetically.

"S-sorry!"

Byakuya yielded the ghost of a smile.

"Why are you apologizing?" he chided her affectionately, "I wish the same, every day."

"It…it doesn't mean that you're not doing enough," Suki stammered.

"I know," Byakuya assured the girl, hugging her and resting his chin on the top of her head, "It is perfectly natural that you would want all of us to be together. You are not wrong to want that, Suki."

"It's just never gonna happen," a boy's sulky voice said from the doorway, making the two look up at him, "So, you should stop being such a baby, Suki, and crying about it all of the time!"

"Torao," Byakuya said, an edge of warning in his voice as he observed the boy was standing stiffly with his arms crossed on his chest, "There is no need to be cruel to your sister."

"You know he's not coming back," Torao said angrily, "and it's because of you!"

"Torao," Byakuya repeated sternly.

"What?" the youth asked stridently, "I'm not allowed to say the truth in front of you? You want me to lie and say it's not true, when we all know it is?"

"Shut up, Torao!" Suki shouted, pulling free of Byakuya and the gold in her eyes glinting threateningly, "Don't talk to him like that!"

"I'm allowed to say the truth!" Torao snapped furiously, his grey eyes flashing and the ginger strands among the black in his hair starting to catch fire, "Ichigo wouldn't have left if he would just have helped to look for Soujun!"

"He did help!" Suki objected, "He just couldn't drop everything and…"

"He barely did _anything_!" Torao argued, "Stop making excuses for him. You know what I'm saying is true! Ichigo left because of him, and he's not coming back. So, you might as well stop making a fuss about it all of the time and grow up!"

Torao paused, sucking in a surprised breath as Byakuya's reiatsu swelled warningly and his father's stern eyes transfixed him.

"Do not speak to your sister that way," he warned the boy, "You are entitled to think as you will, but you are also to respect others. It is past your curfew, Torao. Go back to bed."

Torao's hands clenched, and Byakuya was stricken with a mental image of Ichigo taking the same stiff stance and wearing the same angry expression.

"Man, you _always_ take her side!" Torao yelled, flash stepping away before Byakuya could answer.

A moment later, Tetsuya appeared in the doorway, dressed in his nightclothes and with a tiny red-haired baby girl in his arms.

"Is everything all right, Byakuya-sama?" he asked.

"Ah, Tetsuya," Byakuya greeted him, "It is all right. We are fine. Torao was just…venting his frustrations."

"Heya," Renji yawned, appearing behind Tetsuya and wrapping an arm around his waist, then kissing his husband on the cheek, "what's all the racket?"

"Sorry, Renji-san," Suki said, peeking around Byakuya, "Sorry, Tetsuya-san, Torao was just being mean."

"Your brother is angry," Byakuya corrected her, "His manner of showing that was inappropriate, but you must understand why he is acting that way."

"He misses Daddy Ichigo," Suki sighed, "but why does he have to always blame everything on you?"

"I was Ichigo's husband," Byakuya said sadly, "and I did disappoint him."

"That's not Torao's business," Suki pointed out, "He shouldn't be mad at you. At least you stayed. Daddy Ichigo left us."

"You see your father frequently," Byakuya said firmly, "He has not left you, Suki. He left me."

"I know," Suki sighed, leaning against him again, "and I wish he would come back too. I just don't see why Torao always has to be so mean about it."

"Your brother is hurting inside," Tetsuya said sympathetically, "and he is young. It's hard, at his age, to contend with so much emotion."

"Not to mention, coming out of Ichigo, he's got that hothead gene," Renji added, shaking his head.

"So does someone else," Tetsuya said, smirking down at the baby girl he held, "She is also from a rather spirited parent."

"Right," Renji chuckled, patting the baby's cheek, "I guess I'm guilty of that."

"My apologies for disturbing the two of you," Byakuya said quietly.

"I was up anyway because Akane was being disagreeable," Tetsuya assured him.

"And I can't sleep without him," Renji said, smirking, "It's fine, Byakuya-san. Sorry the boy is giving you a hard time. You want me to pull rank on him…take him out and…"

"We will be fine, Abarai," Byakuya sighed wearily, "thank you."

He waited as the others left, then met Suki's eyes again.

"Why don't you go and climb in with your cousin?" he suggested, "I sense that the noise awakened Tora as well."

"Okay," Suki said, hugging Byakuya, then exiting the bed, "but will you be able to sleep, Dad?"

"I will," Byakuya answered, nodding, "Go on, now."

Suki disappeared out the doorway, leaving Byakuya looking out into the still dark gardens. He listened to the soft night sounds, his mind going back to Torao's angry words, then Ichigo's. His eyes closed and his melancholy deepened.

 _Torao's behavior may have been inappropriate, but he is right to blame me. I am the reason that Ichigo left._

He started to lie back down, but paused and stared as a hell butterfly arrived.

" _Kuchiki taichou,"_ his fourth seat's voice spoke out of the hovering insect, " _apologies for waking you, but I thought you would want to be informed. We discovered signs of some kind of training facility in Hueco Mundo, section 14-21. The hollow governer, Harribel Tier assures us that it was not a legal operation. We attempted to gather useful evidence from the site, but it was carefully cleansed, as the others have been. We found only a very small trace of reiatsu. When analyzed, we found that…it seemed one of your children had been there, or at least had come into contact with someone or something who was there. The sample wasn't large enough to identify which of your children it was, only that the person carried Shiba and Kuchiki blood."_

Byakuya gazed at the hell butterfly, tracking its path as it floated out the doors and into the darkness.

 _This is indeed disturbing. It suggests that someone involved in these training camps that we have been finding has come near to Suki and Torao. We may have an enemy hiding among us._

 _Or…_

Byakuya blinked slowly.

"Or…could it be…?" he whispered, hardly daring to entertain the thought.

His mind turned back to a night six years before.

 _He hurried along the pathway, holding his five-year-old son on one arm and keeping his eyes on the pathway ahead of him._

" _Is Daddy Ichigo going to be okay?" Soujun asked softly, "Did Suki and Torao get hurt too?"_

" _No," Byakuya assured the boy, "Suki and Torao are fine. Ichigo was injured in the explosion at Urahara Kisuke's shop, but he will be all right. Come now, we must get there quickly."_

 _Byakuya had taken only a few more steps, when a passageway opened suddenly to the side of him and blinding white light and a shocking roar filled the corridor they were passing through. Soujun screamed and Byakuya flash stepped away as the cleaner rumbled in behind them. He felt a sudden, strange disruption, as though something had hit his body with great force and was vaguely aware of an exit door opening, then he was shocked with some kind of errant power and his senses scrambled. All he knew was that he was falling._

" _S-soujun!"_

" _DADDY!" the boy howled, his voice disappearing into the blackness that suddenly claimed him._

Byakuya's breath caught and a deep throb of guilt blossomed in his insides. He breathed slowly, focusing on each breath, and relaxing gradually.

 _What happened was a freak accident. This is not likely to be him. But…I had best investigate it, just to be certain._

He slipped out of bed and dressed quickly in a plain shihakushou, then exited his bedroom and moved silently across the gardens. He passed through the back gate and headed down a quiet forest trail, heading out to a moonlit meadow before pausing and looking around. He just missed seeing two small shadows that followed him.

"Get down!" Tora hissed, pulling Suki closer to her, "He almost saw us."

"He's going to sense us," Suki whispered back.

"Not with my mist disturbing the air around us," Tora assured her, "It's good that it's a little foggy."

Tora squinted her large blue eyes to watch as Byakuya extended his sword in front of him, opening a family senkaimon.

"Where do you think he's going?" Tora asked softly.

"I don't know," Suki said worriedly, "but he was dressed like this in the dream I told you about. Tora, what if it wasn't a dream? What if he's…?"

"Shh, we'll follow him. We'll make sure he gets back safely."

"I know I sound stupid. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me."

"You're both gonna be in trouble," Torao growled softly, appearing out of the darkness behind the two girls, "You're not supposed to be out here."

"Neither are _you_!" Suki fired back, "Get out of here, Torao!"

"No way. I'm gonna see where he's going," he brother insisted, sneaking forward as Byakuya entered the senkaimon.

"Man, I'll be glad when the Shiba clan takes him away to train him as their heir!" Tora huffed.

"You'd better just hope that they don't make you marry him, Tora-chan," Suki said, smirking.

"No way they'll do that," Tora snickered, "Daddy Renji is a peasant and Daddy Tetsuya's only half-noble."

"Well, Tetsuya-san is family and he's powerful. Renji-san has a bankai also," Suki reasoned.

"There's no way I'd marry that stuck up jerk!" Tora sneered, taking Suki's hand and pulling her towards the closing senkaimon, "Come on. We'd better make sure that idiot doesn't get himself killed!"

Ahead of the three children, Byakuya paused in the darkness of the precipice world, looking around as he thought he heard a footstep behind him. The senkaimon closed and he remained still, forcing his mind not to focus on the memory that again tried to rise up into his thoughts.

 _That was a long time ago._

He headed quickly towards Urahara's shop and dropped down into the underground training area, where he used the apparatus to open a garganta. He flash stepped into the underground cavern, laying out a reiatsu path as he went and thinking again about the strange findings of his officers. As he moved closer to the coded coordinates, he quieted his mind, focusing carefully on the reiatsu in the area and finding nothing troubling. He passed through the noted exit point and touched down in a little cluster of boulders, from which he scanned the area again and once again found no sign of an enemy. He left the cover of the rocks and walked out onto what looked to be a large cliff, overlooking a steep drop and a stony valley. His sharp eyes peered out across the divide to the other side, his body stiffening as he realized that a tall boy with black hair and large blue-violet eyes stood on the other side of the ravine, staring at him with a curious expression. Byakuya heard a strange hissing, then screams from behind him as his body was jolted with some kind of impact.

"S-suki!" he gasped, watching in horror as the heads of three white arrows poked out of his chest and blood exploded around him.

He pitched forward as kido blasts erupted behind him.

"N-no!" he managed, choking on blood as he dropped to his knees.

The cliff shook with heavy impacts and he heard a dread cracking sound as the part he knelt on gave way. Heavy dust blinded him, and it was all he could do to use what reiatsu he could gather to both break his fall and keep the stone that fell with him from crushing him. He landed on unforgivably hard ground and felt his ribs crack violently, but was lucky enough that the rock that crashed down left a slight space over him and didn't crush him beneath it. He suppressed a cough, closing his stinging eyes and listening as the rumble of falling rock disappeared.

 _Quincies_ , he thought, his mind's eye refocusing on the boy he had seen.

 _I was foolish to let his face distract me. Maybe, I just wanted so much to find Soujun. But now, things are worse. Suki, at least, is up there, without any idea how to fight a quincy._

He tried to move, only to find that the rock pinned him so that he couldn't pull free. He tried to gather his reiatsu, but sensed quickly that the steady flow of blood and reiatsu from the wounds in his chest had weakened him substantially. Byakuya's head swam and blackness began to close in around him.

 _I am sorry, Ichigo._

 _I only pray that my error doesn't cost our other children their lives as well._

 _I feel their presence now…Suki, Torao, and Renji and Tetsuya's Tora…_

 _Children…RUN!_

The boy backed into a clump of rocks, staring as Byakuya was swallowed up but the swirling dust. He swallowed hard, remembering the way the shinigami's dark eyes had looked at him. A moment later, his mentor's hirenyaku brought him back across the divide and into the cover of the rocks.

"Well, that was a bit messy," his companion snapped softly, "Do you want to explain why I was forced to kill him?"

The boy looked back at him silently.

"You may be a little prince, but you are required to hone your skills like everyone else, Lord Aric!"

"I am…s-sorry," the boy apologized.

"Why did you hesitate? He wasn't an officer. Did you see his clothes?"

"I did," Aric stammered, "But…he was looking me…l-like he _knew_ me!"

"Ridiculous!"

"Captain, there was something strange about him," Aric insisted.

His companion let out an infuriated breath.

"I ought to make you go and kill the others who were hiding in the rocks, but we've attracted enough attention. I hope you at least remembered not to leave any signs."

"I was careful," Aric assured him.

"Come on, then," the elder man said impatiently, "We should go back and make a report. Don't expect me to lie about your incompetence, you little fool! You need to understand, there is great expectation…when one wears the name _Bach_!"


	2. Wounded

**Chapter 2: Wounds**

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 **(Thanks to everyone for the enthusiastic responses! My gratitude to Willow (No sooner said than done!), Anonymous guest (Ichigo's thinking and more of his side are coming, so it will become more understandable as the story rolls out. It wasn't as easy as it seemed from Byakuya's perspective. In fact, Ichigo's emotions about it are surprisingly deep.), AdalieDelacroix (Hmm, yes, things will come out that will explain...soon!), Siwon611 (So happy you like the story! And here's the next dose!), Ashesofthefirststar (Sorry for the heartbreak. I beat up on myself as I write, so I can sympathize! Ichigo's perspective will begin to play out in this chapter, and may surprise you.), Gemnika (It's so funny. I wasn't even planning to write a sequel to I Won't Say I Love You, but this idea came crashing in and woke me out of a sound sleep. Man, those crazy plot bunnies! lol), Doggyband (Sorry about that. I just picked myself up and dusted myself off, when my sadistic muse grabbed me again by the throat and made me write this next chapter!), Hisuiryuu (It's okay. I did just also start Cherry Blossom and the Strawberry Part 2, so keeping the two separate in one's head can be tricky.), Yukino76 (And here's more coming at you!), and Tiffany91 (Watch for little broken pieces all over the place. This one's off to a messy start, but very revealing moments lie ahead.) Enjoy the new chapter! Love to all, Spunky)**

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Slipping in and out of consciousness, Byakuya was vaguely aware of dust being disturbed nearby and small rocks and pebbles sliding down and dropping like rain all around where his incapacitated body laid, pinned beneath a large slab of stone. He was grateful for the fact of his senses being so far gone that he could neither feel the injuries he already had, nor would he feel the end of his life if the ones coming down the cliff were enemies. An echoing whisper sent a hard chill down his spine as he recognized Suki's voice, but wasn't sure anymore how she was there in Hueco Mundo, or if perhaps he was only in some stage of dying and was beginning to hallucinate.

"Dad!" Suki's voice hissed frantically.

"Dad," Torao's voice added, "we're coming to you!"

Byakuya sucked in a deeper breath, his mind clearing enough so that he instantly regretted the increased awareness of both his situation and the amount of pain he was in.

"Oh…" he groaned softly, turning his head to avoid a shower of dust and pebbles as the children slid down and flash stepped onto the ground near his incapacitated form.

"Dad!" Suki sobbed in a muted voice as she dropped to her knees at his side.

"S-suki," he whispered haltingly, his mind spinning dizzily as he looked up at the three children who crouched over him, "Torao, T-tora."

"We're here," Torao answered, his clipped tone indicating the forced calm he was employing to deal with the unimaginable trouble they were in, "Dad, what can we do?"

"We have to get this rock off of him!" Tora exclaimed softly.

"Suki," Byakuya managed, stifling a cough, "you are the most adept at shielding. You must create a protective barrier around us. Th-there may still be enemies in the area."

"Okay, Dad," Suki said, her voice shaking, "I've got it."

"G-good girl…"

Byakuya's voice faded for a moment as the stars above him seemed to begin melting together.

"Dad?" Torao called anxiously, taking Byakuya's limp and dusty hand in his.

He quivered at the icy feel of the sweat dampened flesh.

"I may be going into sh-shock from the injuries I sustained," Byakuya explained, blinking to clear his stinging eyes.

"We need to keep him warm," Tora said, removing her cloak and reaching beneath the stone slab to wrap it around him, "and keep talking to him, Torao."

"I know," the youth said shortly.

Torao's jaw clenched and shook softly.

"We need to get this rock off of you," he said with forced calm.

"No," Byakuya whispered, "I am bleeding internally, and unless you are prepared to treat massive bleeding, you cannot move it yet. S-send someone for Urahara K-kisuke."

Torao looked back at his sister and cousin.

"You two go. I will stay with him."

"Torao, no!" Suki objected, "You can't…!"

"There is no choice," Byakuya insisted, "Torao's powers are most suited for our defense. Strengthen the sh-shield around us before you leave. W-we will be all right until you return. Tora, use your mist to confuse anyone who might spot you as you return."

"I will, Byakuya-sama!" Tora answered quickly, grabbing Suki's hand, "Come on. The faster we get there, the faster we'll get back!"

"Mark the coordinates before you leave," Byakuya managed, "Hueco Mundo…14-21."

"I've got it!" Suki affirmed, "Dad, we'll be back as fast as we can."

"No," Byakuya said firmly, "Th-this is enemy territory and y-you are not military officers. S-end Urahara, then wait in Karakura Town."

"Do you want us to tell Shiba Ichigo you've been injured?" Tora asked.

"Th-that will be unnecessary," Byakuya whispered, his vision dimming ominously, "Before you could reach him, he will have sensed it."

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Ichigo tossed and turned in his sleep, grimacing as flashes of blackness and bright light, sounds of battle and harsh memories from the quincy war echoed in his head. There too, were the flickering images of the aftermath, the slow rebuilding and his sudden marriage to the lovely and complex leader of the Kuchiki clan. But even in sleep, he couldn't forget their horrible loss and the cracking and breaking of the family they had built together. He cringed, curling tightly in his sleep, until sleep was impossible, and he came awake and sat up, his former husband's name on his lips.

"Byakuya!" he gasped, his heart pounding unmercifully.

A shaft of iciness stabbed at his insides as he spotted the curtains in his window waving in the night breeze. A moment later, he was gripped with a sharp, terrifying image of the man he had been thinking of, lying injured, with three dark shapes hovering over him.

"Byakuya!" he hissed breathlessly.

 _We're still connected after all. A soul bond isn't something you can decide to end. It's always there._

 _He's in trouble._

He closed his eyes and focused on the image he had seen, registering the crescent moon and the parched feeling that had accompanied the scene.

 _Hueco Mundo._

Ichigo surged out of the bed and hastily dressed, waving off his sleepy attendant as he flash stepped out onto his balcony and opened a family senkaimon. He ran into the precipice world, his heart racing and his teeth clenched.

 _This is really bad!_

 _But he's still alive. I can feel it._

Even with that slight reassurance, Ichigo moved at blazing speed, traversing the dark corridors swiftly as his mind continued to turn viciously.

 _It doesn't matter that we broke up. It doesn't matter that we couldn't go on living together. When someone gets into your soul like Byakuya and I got into each others' there's always gonna be something there. I realized that a long time ago._

 _It's not that giddy feeling of being in love. It's way deeper than that. It's not something that we could choose to break. And I don't think it will ever go away. Byakuya's always gonna be in my heart, and when he's in trouble, I'm going to be there._

Ichigo spotted the exit ahead of him and thundered through, dropping down into the underground training room beneath Urahara's shop. He felt a twinge of surprise that the area was dark and quiet, and he wondered briefly if he had been mistaken and had just been dreaming what he had felt before. But that thin hope shattered as a garganta suddenly opened, and Suki and Tora ran out, panting harshly and turning immediately for the ladder that led up into the shop.

"Suki? Tora?" he inquired, frowning in surprise, "What the hell are you doing here? Why were you in Hueco Mundo? What's going on?"

"Dad!" Suki sobbed, flash stepping to him and throwing her arms around him tightly, "It's Daddy Bya. H-he's been hurt really badly."

The heavy feeling of sickness in Ichigo's chest and stomach increased painfully and he hugged his daughter amost crushingly.

"It's okay. It's gonna be okay," he promised, turning his head to look at Tora, "Tora, get Kisuke, okay? Then, go get Orihime."

"I will!" Tora answered, flash stepping up the ladder.

Ichigo took Suki's teary face in his hands.

"Tell me what happened," he said, keeping his tone carefully controlled, "Tell me everything."

"H-how did you know?" Suki asked, "You knew, didn't you? Why would you be here if you didn't?"

"I knew something was wrong," Ichigo admitted, "but you're going to have to tell me what happened. What were you and Tora doing in Hueco Mundo? Did Byakuya take you there?"

"N-no," Suki managed, her breath catching raggedly as she continued, "T-tora and I saw him leaving. We…followed him. Torao too."

"Why would you do that?" Ichigo demanded, "You know better than to sneak off and follow him when he's working. You've never done anything like that before. Why did you this time?"

"It wasn't like the other times," Suki sobbed, "It was all of a sudden. H-he didn't dress in his haori or anything. And he went alone."

"That doesn't sound like him," Ichigo mused, shaking his head, "Wait a sec. You said Torao went with you. Where is he, Suki? Is he okay?"

"H-he was when we left. He stayed with Daddy Bya and I left a shield over them. Daddy Bya told us to."

"Okay," Ichigo said, patting her face gently, "Kisuke and I are going to take care of this. I want you and Suki to stay here and help Tessai get things ready for when we get back."

"But I want to go help Daddy Bya too!" Suki objected.

"You've done all you can," Ichigo said firmly, "and we'll talk about you sneaking around at night and in enemy territory later. Right now, you need to stay here and stay safe so that Kisuke and I can help Byakuya. Don't go anywhere. I'm gonna need to ask you some questions when we get back. You stay here and do what Tessai tells you."

Suki's arms hugged him tightly.

"Okay, Daddy," she sniffed, swallowing hard and wiping her tears away.

Ichigo gave her a warm smile.

"It's gonna be okay," he assured her, "You know I won't let anything happen to Byakuya."

"Th-thanks, Daddy Ichigo!" Suki said hopefully, "He's in Hueco Mundo, 14-21."

"Got it!" Ichigo said, flash stepping into the open garganta, "Tell Kisuke I've gone ahead."

"I will!"

Ichigo's reiatsu poured out all around him, making a thick, but bumpy path for him to run on.

 _I never have learned how to control my reiatsu and make a smooth path_ , he chided himself _, I guess that's for people like Byakuya who use more finesse and less raw power._

He felt a little chill as he extended his senses, trying to feel Byakuya's presence ahead of him, but only picked up a small flicker of his life force.

 _He must be messed up pretty good for it to be that weak. But he's not alone. Torao is there. He's strong enough to protect them until Kisuke and I get there…although, if the enemy that brought Byakuya down is still there…but then, he wouldn't have kept Torao with him, if that was the case. No. He would have forced them all to leave. At least, that means he thinks he has a chance of surviving. We're going to make good on that._

Ichigo slowed as he reached the given coordinates and found himself exiting onto the top of a cliff. He looked around and quickly spotted the signs of a recent rockslide. Forcing down the urge to call out to Byakuya and Torao, he studied the area carefully, using his senses to ensure that no enemies remained nearby. Sensing none, he moved cautiously to the edge of the cliff and looked down. Even squinting, he couldn't see, but could only vaguely sense his ex-husband and son's presences. He proceeded down carefully, stiffening as more rock came loose and tumbled down.

"Byakuya?" he hissed softly, "Torao?"

"Down here!" Torao's hushed voice guided him, "Dad, we're down here!"

"I'm coming!" Ichigo assured him, keeping his movements slow as he sought to find footholds.

Several tense minutes later, he reached the bottom of the ravine and passed through the protective barrier. A moment later, his white faced son collided with him, hugging him fiercely.

"Dad!" he whispered shakily.

"It's okay," Ichigo assured him, hugging him back, "How's Byakuya?"

"H-he passed out," Torao reported, leading Ichigo to Byakuya's side, "B-but he told me to tell whoever came that he was impaled from the back by quincy arrows."

"Quincies?" Ichigo repeated, "but the quincies haven't been bothering anyone since Uryu and his dad went to help them rebuild. You say he saw that they were quincies?"

"That's what he said," Torao confirmed, "Suki, Tora and I just saw blinding white light, and there were arrows made of reiatsu that were in Dad's chest. But they slowly disappeared. They faded and the bleeding got worse. I tried to slow it down, but it's still bad."

"It's okay," Ichigo assured him as the two moved back to Byakuya's side.

Ichigo leaned over the stricken noble, moving the cloak that covered him and studying the positioning of the rock that held him down.

"He told me not to move the rock…th-that it was…"

"Holding back some of the bleeding," Ichigo finished, "We won't move this until Kisuke gets here."

He knelt beside Byakuya, removing a small first aid pack from within this shihakushou and producing a small cloth that he dampened with a little bottle of water to cool his ex-husband's face. Byakuya stirred and groaned.

"Easy," Ichigo soothed him, "help is coming."

"Ichigo…" Byakuya whispered, "Are you really h-here?"

"Heh," Ichigo chuckled, trying to keep the tension out of his voice, "You're in trouble. Where else would I be?"

"P-please take Torao and go," Byakuya panted, shifting slightly, then making a guttural sound of agony.

"Shut up. We're not going anywhere until Kisuke gets here. Just tell me what you can. Torao says that you were ambushed by quincies?"

Byakuya's eyes clouded over as he began to lose consciousness again.

"Hey!" Ichigo snapped, patting his face and squeezing his hand, "I'm talking to you, here. Look at me, Byakuya. Tell me how many there were."

"You don't have to be mean to him," Torao complained.

Ichigo's head turned and he lowered his voice to a soft whisper.

"We need to keep him talking or he'll go into shock and he could die right here. Besides, I heard from Suki a few days ago that you were giving him the hardest time of anyone. She said you were yelling at him and stomping around, saying that you hated him and wanted to come live with me now."

"I was mad!" Torao objected, "I can't help saying stupid things when I'm mad. I'm like you, not him!"

"Y-you know," Byakuya interjected softly, "I can still hear you two. I am not deaf, neither have I forgotten about injury induced shock and its effects."

"Will you be quiet and try not to move too much?" Ichigo chided him, "you're going to make the bleeding worse. Are you at least hurting some right now?"

"To put it mildly," Byakuya said with almost chilling calm.

"You _want_ him to hurt?" Torao objected, "I mean, I know you're mad at him, but…"

"The p-pain is an indicator of m-my level of awareness, as well as a sign that I probably have not had my spine crushed entirely," Byakuya explained.

"Will you shut up and let me do the talking?" Ichigo snapped, "You're going to scare the shit out of him!"

"Our children have been trained to administer first aid," Byakuya replied in an unruffled tone, "scared or not."

Ichigo scowled and let out a flustered breath.

"How many quincies did you see?" he asked, more calmly.

"Only one," Byakuya answered, "I was attacked from behind by a second."

"You didn't sense him?" Ichigo asked, "The kids didn't get a look at him?"

"They made bright light around themselves," Torao explained, "We could see they were there, but we didn't know what they were."

Ichigo glanced at Byakuya questioningly, and the noble paused, remembering the quincy boy's familiar looking face and blue-violet eyes.

"I was…distracted," he whispered, his voice shaking as he began to lose consciousness again.

"One of them distracted you while the other attacked from behind?" Ichigo mused, frowning, "You don't get taken in by things like that."

"Th-the younger one…he…l-looked like…S…" Byakuya trailed off, quivering, then falling still.

"Hey, don't you do that," Ichigo said urgently, patting his face, "Byakuya, come on. Kisuke's gonna be here any minute."

"I'm here!" Kisuke called down to them, flash stepping down and bringing Orihime with him.

Orihime made a soft, urgent exclamation and activated her power, placing her healing field over the trapped noble as Kisuke swiftly assessed the positioning of the rock and the severity of Byakuya's condition.

"Looks like we got her just in time," he said, placing a hand on the rock, "Come here, Torao. I'll need your help with this."

"He said not to move it or he'll bleed to death!" Torao cried.

"Easy there, kid," Kiuske said reassuringly, "That was just until Orihime and I got here to help him. We can get this off him now, but we'll need to work together. I'll take care of shielding him. You blast that thing."

"I can do it," Ichigo offered.

"Eh, you just keep Byakuya-san calm. We'll handle this."

"Byakuya's unconscious!"

Kisuke gave Torao a knowing smirk.

"Your dad, there'd use a little too much oomph and we'd have a roasted Byakuya instead of just an injured one."

"Hey!" Ichigo snapped.

"Come on, kid. I've got him shielded," Kisuke urged the youth, "I've seen you do this."

"Yeah," Torao croaked, "for fun on rocks a lot smaller than this…and not with my dad underneath it!"

"It's fine," Kisuke chuckled, "Blast it. I'll protect Byakuya."

"Go on," Ichigo urged him, "You can trust Kisuke."

"That's not what Byakuya says," Torao huffed, taking aim on the rock and raising his reiatsu.

"No," Ichigo agreed, an unbidden smile rising on his lips, "it's not."

"Stay a little behind me," Kisuke warned Orihime.

"I won't hit her!" Torao snapped.

"Ah, stay back anyway," Kisuke whispered to the human girl.

Torao shook his head, scowling as he focused on the huge rock and fired a measured blast of kido. The others winced under Kisuke's protective shield as the rock exploded and sent bits flying out, away from the gathered rescue group.

"Nice shootin' Tex!" Kisuke said appreciatively, "Well done."

"Th-thanks," Torao panted, wiping the sweat from his forehead, then rejoining the others at Byakuya's side.

He gazed down at Byakuya's too pale face, worriedly.

"Is he gonna be okay?" the boy asked Orihime.

"He's hurt pretty badly," the human girl explained, "but I can heal him. He will just need pain relief and a lot of sleep when I'm done."

"We'll make sure he gets that," Ichigo soothed his anxious son, "He's going to be all right now, Torao."

"Okay," the boy said more calmly, slipping a hand into Byakuya's and holding it gently.

"Hey, Orihime," Kisuke said softly, "you think we can move him soon? We're starting to attract hollows. The leaders may not be enemies exactly, but the local residents can be a nuisance."

"We can go now," Orihime assured him, "I've rejected the injury to his heart and lung. I can finish with the broken bones when we get back."

"All right," the shopkeeper said, extending a hand and slowly curling strands of bright kido netting around Byakuya's motionless form, "Let's go home."


	3. Your Strength in Me

**Chapter 3: Your Strength In Me**

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 **(Thanks going out to PrivateCaller (I will keep the updates going. The muse is strong on this one!), Aizenfan6969 (Everyone in this story carries some kind of weight that needs dealing with. There will be all kinds of conflict!), Willow (You are so very welcome! More is coming about Byakuya and Ichigo's rift...), AdalieDelacroix (Ah yes, the heart often knows what the eyes and brain won't believe, but the truth always comes out...), Gemnika (I secretly enjoy the torment of plot bunnies, but don't tell them that!), Siwon611 (So glad you like it! And those other updates are in the works!), Yukino76 (Thanks a bunch!), Ashesofthefirststar (Ah yes, the layers will peel away bit by bit and the raw core of their rift will be exposed. It's sad and messy, but as you pointed out, Byakuya and Ichigo are very much in love. They just have some really potent stuff to work through.), and Tiffany91 (I would say that Ichigo can't keep himself away, and Byakuya probably understands him to a fault. Now, someone needs to nudge them in the right direction...) Enjoy the new chapter! Love to all, Spunky)**

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Ichigo felt Byakuya move and cracked open an eye, watching as his ex-husband flinched and grimaced, his heart fluttering where his chest rested on Ichigo's, and his face seeking comfort under the Shiba heir's chin. Ichigo ran his fingers through the discomfited noble's silken hair and caressed his cheek lightly.

"It's okay," Ichigo whispered, "It was just a nightmare."

"I dreamt that…you left me," Byakuya whispered, "Is that not true?"

Guilt registered on the ginger-haired man's face and he cleared his throat softly.

"Try to sleep some more, all right?"

Byakuya took a deeper breath and opened his eyes, then he blinked slowly, registering the warmth and closeness of Ichigo's body,

"How long have I been unconscious?" he asked softly.

Ichigo smiled sadly.

"You were out cold for a couple of days after Orihime healed you. The shock was really hard on your body, so Kisuke made you sleep for a couple of extra days. You still need to stay in bed, and you need to eat something."

"Where are Suki and Torao?"

"I had Tetsuya and Renji take them to the Shiba estate, that is, after I read them the riot act for following you into Hueco Mundo. My family is spoiling them rotten and teaching them all kinds of bad habits while you recover. Don't worry. Now that they know you're going to be okay, they're fine, Byakuya."

"And why are you not with them?"

Ichigo let out a piqued breath.

"I'm not with them because I'm taking care of you," he said dismissively, "You needed a lot of infusions."

"Which any number of others here could have given me," Byakuya pointed out.

"Which are most effective coming from your soul mate," Ichigo said defensively, "Do you really think I wouldn't want the best for you?"

Byakuya gazed back at him silently, carefully withholding his thoughts.

 _You still want me to live._

 _Do you love me, or do you just want me to suffer a lifetime of regrets?_

"I'll go and bring something for you to eat," Ichigo offered, pulling free of him and climbing out of the bed.

Byakuya watched him leave, then he turned his dark, moody eyes to look out the window into the nighttime sky.

 _It is like a knife in the heart to have him care for me now. It must be painful for Ichigo as well. I would tell him to go, but…waking in his arms was like remembering how to breathe. So painful, but I crave it so much I cannot do anything that would end it._

A sudden, small movement outside made him catch his breath in surprise, and he climbed out of the bed, his legs shaking ominously as he moved towards the window. Almost instantly, a loud ringing sounded in his ears and he panted in reaction, his heart pounding strangely.

 _What was that?_

 _For a moment, I saw the face of that boy again._

 _But…_

Byakuya's quivering legs gave way and he felt himself beginning to fall. A loud crash sounded across the room, then he registered a blazing flash step and Ichigo's strong arms wrapped around him.

"Whoa! Where the hell do you think you're going?" Ichigo snapped.

Byakuya's eyes remained fixed on the bushes outside.

 _Did I just imagine it?_

 _He was there for a moment, then…_

"Byakuya?" Ichigo said, lifting him and carrying him back to the bed, "What were you thinking? You're still not in any shape to take off like that."

Byakuya stared at him, lost for words. The look of guilt returned to Ichigo's eyes and he climbed onto the bed and took Byakuya's hands in his.

"If you want me to go, then just tell me," Ichigo said more softly, "You could have really hurt yourself, trying to run off when you're in such bad shape."

"I do not want you to go," Byakuya whispered, closing his eyes against the sudden burning he felt in them, "I never wanted that."

"Then, what were you doing, trying to climb out of the window and run away?"

Byakuya started to answer, then felt a dark inward twinge.

 _What if I was seeing things?_

 _What if nothing was there at all?_

"Byakuya?"

Byakuya sucked in a stinging breath and leaned forward, sighing in relief as Ichigo's arms curled around him and held him tightly.

"I am sorry, _anata_ ," he apologized genuinely, "It is just that when you loved me, at times when my strength failed, I could always draw on yours. It is…difficult learning to rely on myself again."

"What are you talking about?" Ichigo chided him, his head tilting until their lips were almost touching, "I'm right in front of you."

"And yet, you are farther away than the moon and stars," Byakuya breathed, brushing his lips longingly against Ichigo's, "and nothing that I do can bridge that distance. Your light touches me all of the time, but I cannot feel your warmth anymore."

Byakuya felt as though the breath was drawn suddenly out of his body as Ichigo's mouth claimed his suddenly, and the arms around him tightened until he couldn't have breathed anyway. His hands clenched at his ex-husband's shoulders and he kissed Ichigo back fervently, shifting restlessly and hastily moving their clothing out of the way, then sliding onto his lap and bringing their bodies slowly together.

Neither man moved for a long, breathless moment and their eyes remained lowered as an old, familiar heat flared inside them. Then, Byakuya turned his face aside, resting his head on Ichigo's shoulder, as warm, strong hands slid slowly down the length of his back and curled around his bare bottom. He wasn't sure when exactly he had started to move, or when Ichigo's body had begun to move with his. All that would register in his hazy mind was the deep feeling of connection and the lovely friction that brought the two men swiftly to the ends of their endurance. A deep, shuddering gasp sounded in Byakuya's flushed ear, then melting heat erupted inside him, sending him tumbling over and into a long, dizzying release.

He closed his barely seeing eyes, listening to the loud ringing in his ears and relieved at not being able to hear Ichigo's sorrowful apology.

"Go," Byakuya panted softly, "You must leave me while I still feel your strength."

A soft sound of muted agony escaped him as Ichigo's body separated from his, and he was laid down gently on his back.

"I'm gonna get Kisuke," Ichigo said in a shaky voice, "He should at least make sure I didn't hurt you. Man, that was stupid! What was I thinking?"

"I am fine," Byakuya insisted, turning to face the window, "and…I would rather he did not know. If it should get back to the children somehow that…"

"You know Kisuke's not gonna do that," Ichigo said, shaking his head, "and I really might have hurt you. One of those quincy arrows pierced your heart, Byakuya. You could have died! Orihime repaired the damage, but you know that you still need time to fully recover."

"I know," Byakuya assured him, "and I will be all right now. Please, Ichigo, go and take care of our children. They were distraught at seeing me injured."

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Ichigo asked worriedly, "You look really pale."

"I just need to rest and eat," Byakuya insisted, "and I give you my word, I will do both. Just, please go. If you stay any longer, I will not be able to hold back asking you to come home to me."

Even looking the other way, he sensed the tortured expression that registered on Ichigo's face. He listened to the soft quick footsteps and the sound of the door closing, then sighed and rolled onto his back again.

 _Ichigo isn't the one who hurt someone._

 _I am._

 _Both then and now, I hurt him._

 _I am the one who should apologize._

He sighed softly, unable to feel anything but the brilliant warmth that circled inside him.

 _Before…I would have lain after Ichigo made love to me, and I would have been thinking, hoping that I would conceive again. But after Suki and Torao, I was never able to do that. Even Urahara Kisuke could not tell why. Eventually, he said that sometimes too much physical damage makes the body shut down some functions for self protection._

The sound of the door opening interrupted his thoughts, and Byakuya turned his head, his lips smiling very slightly as his father entered the room. Tama paused, studying the fallen food tray, then he gave Byakuya a questioning look.

"Ichigo dropped it," Byakuya explained, "I was…trying my legs and started to fall."

"Oh," Tama answered, picking up the tray and retrieving the spilled contents from the floor.

"You do not have to do that," Byakuya chided him, "I am sure that someone will be along."

"Give me a moment," Tama said, smiling back at him, "I will bring you more to eat."

Byakuya sat up slowly, rearranging the pillows behind himself. He forced himself to think only of his father and the absent children, avoiding thoughts of the man who had so recently been joined with him. By the time Tama returned, he had regained his composure completely.

"Arigatou," he said gratefully as Tama set the food tray in front of him, then sat down in a chair, facing him.

"I saw Ichigo leaving," Tama commented cautiously, "He looked…troubled."

"I am afraid I always seem to trouble him," Byakuya said flippantly, focusing his attention on his meal, "Not enough for him to forgive me and come home, just enough so that he is always unhappy when he encounters me."

"I don't think that's true, _segare_ ," Tama assured him, "The two of you have been through something very difficult. You each had to handle your child's death in your own way."

"And Ichigo's way was to forget everything and to throw himself heedlessly at searching for Soujun. In truth, I would have been inclined to join him in that, but someone had to care for Suki and Torao. And at some point, we had to admit that it was likely our son was not coming back. Ichigo could never accept that…and he could never accept that it was best to allow the children to mourn and move forward."

"But that's not why he left you, is it?" Tama mused sadly, slipping a hand into Byakuya's.

"No," Byakuya agreed, "He left me because of what I withheld from him."

"What you withheld from him?" Tama repeated softly, "What was that?"

Byakuya sighed wearily, turning his head to look out the window again.

"It was nothing," he said more softly, "just some stray bits of information. It was uncorroborated and it was later dismissed as false. It was military information, and as a taichou, I was obligated not to divulge it to those not of the military, or not of fukutaichou rank or higher. But Ichigo never saw any of that. He said it was a betrayal. He said that I only did not tell him because it would have encouraged him to leave again, when all I wanted was for him to stay. He was…extremely bitter about that. He told me that he could not trust me anymore. He loves me, but he does not trust me. Those things, he said, are irreconcilable. That is why he left."

"I am sorry, Byakuya," Tama said sadly, squeezing his son's hand gently.

"Do not be," Byakuya said distantly, "Ichigo was right to leave me."

"No…"

"He was," Byakuya repeated solemnly, "It was a betrayal. I should have told him…and I will regret not having done so, every day for the rest of my life."

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In the bushes outside of Urahara Kisuke's shop, a boy's rough hand moved aside one of the leafy limbs, giving him a better view of the white clad youth who crouched a short distance ahead of him, peering at one of the softly lit rooms. He brushed a handful of red hairs out of his green eyes, grinning as he moved on silent feet and brought a hand down on the older boy's shoulder.

"Gotcha!" he hissed playfully, snickering in amusement as the other boy startled and swung around, glaring at him.

"Damn it, Little B!" he snapped, keeping his voice lowered, "You scared the hell out of me. Don't _do_ that!"

"Sorry, Aric," the younger boy chuckled.

"No, you're not!" Aric complained.

"W-well, no, not really," Little B confessed, smirking, "But I wasn't even trying that hard to sneak up on you. What're you looking at, anyway?"

"Shh," Aric breathed, "In there. That guy."

"Which one? The one on the bed or the one in the chair?"

"On the bed," Aric answered, pointing.

"Oh, is he the one that Heilgar attacked?" Little B asked, squinting and pushing forward.

"Careful!" Aric warned him, pulling him back as he started to fall.

"Heilgar said he killed that guy!"

"I know," Aric whispered, "I don't think he knew that guy was so strong."

"If he's strong like that, the last thing we should be doing is poking around here, sneaking peeks at him."

"Little B, that man…looked at me like he knew me. There's something weird about him…"

"He's a shinigami," the younger boy said, rolling his eyes, "They're all weird and dangerous, no matter what King Ishida says," Little B insisted, "Come on. You've looked at him enough. The shopkeeper here is going to catch you, and they're friends of the king. They'll turn you in. You could get a death sentence for being with the rebels."

Little B's green eyes took on a look of worry.

"Aric," he said more softly, "you and I should run away. We should go far away, where there aren't any rebels or any king's men. I hate that we can't even be seen talking to each other! You're my best friend…ever since you helped me get away from the rebels who grabbed me."

"We're best friends," Aric agreed, placing a hand on Little B's shoulder, "That's why I can't let you ever get caught with me."

"It's not fair," the red-haired boy complained, "You don't even want to be one of them! The only reason you are is because of _him_. If _he_ wasn't related to you, then you could come and live with me and my parents. Big B could teach you to shoot straight with your arrows and Lord Haschwald could even teach you how to fight with a sword!"

"That would be great," Aric said sadly, "But Heilgar says that I would have to be killed because of the bad power that's sealed inside me. They all tell me I'm the rightful king, and that it's only a matter of time before we kill King Ishida and renew our war with the shinigamis. I don't want to fight in a war, Little B. That shinigami has children that are a lot like us. They saved their dad. I heard everyone saying so. I wish I had parents...brothers and sisters."

"Did the shinigamis kill your family?" Little B asked.

Aric shook his head, his throat tightening as he repeated what he had been told.

"Grandpa Juha needed their power, and he killed them with the Auswhalen."

Little B froze, his green eyes growing large and filling with fear.

"My parents told me about that," he whispered, shivering, "They only survived because King Ishida's father found a way to save them."

"You know that's the bad power that's inside me," Aric said in a choked voice, "Little B, I never want to use that power."

"But if you don't run away from the rebels, then they'll make you use it," the red-haired boy said miserably.

Aric shook his head firmly.

"I won't ever do that, Little B," he swore, hugging his younger friend tightly, "I'll die before I let that happen!"

"And if you die," Little B said, hugging him back, "I'm going to die with you!"

The two boys stiffened as they felt the approach of the rebel soldier they had been discussing before. Little B ducked into the bushes and Aric raised his bow and aimed it towards a tree in the distance. He heard Heilger mutter a curse, and the man's hand grabbed his wrist as he struck Aric hard across the face.

"Stupid boy!" he scolded the youth harshly, "You could have been seen! Do you know who lives here?"

His head started to turn, but Aric interposed himself between Heilgar and the view of Byakuya's guest room.

"S-sorry!" he apologized hastily as the concealed Little B clenched his fists, barely holding back from attacking the man who had hit his friend, "I was just…practicing my aim."

"Which is terrible," Heilgar scolded him, "Come. We will practice somewhere where there aren't so many damned shinigamis around. Once you can hit something big and slow with that poor excuse for a weapon of yours, I can start teaching you how to track and kill shinigamis. You'll need to learn soon."

"Is there going to be another war?" Aric asked in a troubled tone.

"Why?" Heilgar asked mockingly, "Are you afraid?"

Aric gazed back at him wordlessly.

"You, of all people, shouldn't bother being afraid, Lord Aric," the soldier said, studying him closely for his reaction, "The shinigamis are the ones who should be afraid of you."


	4. Regrets

**Chapter 4: Regrets**

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 **(Thanks to Yukino76 (Glad you like the chapter!), Winterheart2000 (Ichigo is a huge mess inside and he has pushed away the person he needs the most. But things are developing that will shift things for him.), Jess0409 (No, I would totally also be a sucker for a sad Byakuya!), Picklez80 (LOL, then I won't keep you waiting!), PrivateCaller (Yes, good catch! Little B is the child of Bazz-B and Haschwald, who will be in the story at some point, but as minor characters. I just thought it would be cute to have a little mini-Bazz mixed up in things. Young Bazz-B was funny and pretty adorable!), Aizenfan6969 (Okay, I will keep the wait short!), ShariBerry89 (You are most welcome!), Willow (I don't think Byakuya and Ichigo really know how to give up, so there will be a turnaround. It's just a question of what it will take form there...quite the uphill battle.), Jaundrie (Aww, I have days like that too, when life feels pretty heavy, but a good story will take me away and give me a release for all of that heaviness. Glad you're reading along!), Tiffany91 (Ah, there is fault on both sides, so it's hard for Ichigo and Byakuya to find common ground to start over again. And some troubling developments will underscore the need for these two to work together. Lives will depend on that!), Ashesofthefirststar (I love Bya/Ichi! They are just plain fun to write. Byakuya is calmer, more serious and inwardly passionate, but he is drawn out and more expressive when confronted with Ichigo's more overt emotional bearing. They make a really good couple that can rock a Rom-Com or tear your heart out in a drama. That's some real magic there. They are both struggling in this one, and need common ground to begin to rebuild on. Oddly enough, what tore them up will begin to bring them back together, but it is not going to be easy...yes, sadistic muse alert...), Siwon611 (I'm so into the story, myself, I can't seem to stop. It's a good problem to have!) and EdensDepair (Ah, things will begin to clear as we get a new perspective from a character entering the story this chapter. Thanks so much for reading!) Enjoy the new chapter! Love to all, Spunky.)**

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Ichigo heard his children's voices in the distance and stepped out onto his balcony, moving in slow steps to the rail, then leaning against it to watch as they trained in a large, grassy area within the gardens. Suki engaged Tora in a sharp display of kido enhanced hakudo kicks and strikes, their lithe bodies turning leaping gracefully, employing visually beautiful moves that had Byakuya's patient mentorship written all over them.

 _It's strange._

 _He's taught the kids everything he knows about physical fighting for self defense, and he's helped them to awaken their powers, but he still refuses to offer them to the Gotei. Not that I particularly want them in the military. I've never much liked the way the Gotei and Central 46 work, but Byakuya was in the service from the time he was about their age._

 _Of course, that was more because his father died and he was trying to step into that place Soujun occupied. But still, Suki and Torao are going to lead the Kuchiki and Shiba clans._

Ichigo sighed softly.

 _It's a tradition in both of our families that the family leaders also serve in the military, usually eventually as taichous. Byakuya never talks about why he didn't send the kids to the shinigami academy, but trained them privately. He never mentions wanting to put them in the military. It seems like losing our Soujun made him more cautious and protective._

 _No…Byakuya was always protective, but…now it seems like he's just scared of losing them._

 _I feel the same._

But whatever Ichigo might have felt about the military, a little swell of pride warmed him as he watched his son and daughter train.

The crash of blades crossing sounded as Suki and Tora moved on into more unscripted fighting. A short distance away from the two girls, Torao and Tetsuya faced each other, playing out a set of scripted and carefully learned sequences of offensive and defensive moves each had been taught by Byakuya, himself.

 _I wasn't originally taught to fight like Byakuya does…like they do. With me, I wasn't taught proper form. I learned to fight instinctively. But when Byakuya and I got married, that was one of the most beautiful things he did for me. We trained together every day. He didn't ever say he was fixing my deficiencies. It never felt like he was coaching me. It just felt like he was loving me…passing on something of himself that he only gives to the people he cares most about._

 _I will always treasure the time we spent together like that._

His eyes dampened as he watched Tora's mist swirl out of the tip of her blade, then Suki's release of burning fire flowers spun out of her sword and sailed through the air, hissing as they began to make Tora's mist evaporate. Near the two, the area around Torao was filled with Tetsuya's attacking waterforms and the light from Torao's counterattack flared white around the fighters.

 _Torao inherited the use of getsuga from my father and me. That's why he was chosen to lead our clan._

 _Soujun wasn't going to lead either clan. He was the baby of the family…and Byakuya and I both spoiled him sometimes. He was going to be powerful, and he looked up to his big sister and brother. We had such a beautiful family. But like what happened to Byakuya's family and to mine when we were each growing up, a part of that family died and the family was broken. Neither Byakuya nor I wanted our kids to know what that felt like. We promised not to let that happen. But, what did we know? That was never in our control. We were lying to ourselves. But all lies ended when our Soujun disappeared. Not like we didn't try, but…_

He blinked slowly, his mind going back in time.

 _He flash stepped into Kuchiki Manor gardens, his hand clenching around a crumpled set of papers and anger making his reiatsu flare around him. He felt Byakuya's presence ahead of him and rushed forward as his husband stepped out of Suki's bedroom and slid the garden doors shut. He looked up, reading Ichigo's infuriated expression, then spotted the crumpled papers in his hand._

" _Ichigo?" he inquired, frowning, "What is that?"_

 _Ichigo scowled and thrust the papers angrily at his husband._

" _Why don't you tell me what this is?" he snarled._

 _Byakuya's face paled as he read the contents._

" _What the fuck were you thinking, not telling me about this?" Ichigo demanded._

 _Byakuya laid a hand on his husband's arm and Ichigo tore it away._

" _Ichigo, we shouldn't do this here. Suki only now fell asleep. She has been having horrid nightmares. Torao is still barely speaking."_

" _Fine!" Ichigo said, turning back towards their bedroom._

 _Byakuya hesitated for a moment, then followed. He found Ichigo inside their bedroom, standing with his arms crossed and his golden brown eyes blazing._

" _You want to give me some kind of explanation?" he asked stridently, "I mean, I know you've been upset that I haven't been here and you've had to take care of the kids while I was handling most of the searching, but I never thought that you were so upset that you would purposely hold back something that could help me find Soujun!"_

" _That information was uncorroborated," Byakuya insisted, "It was given to me as a taichou to have investigated, and I did do that, Ichigo."_

" _Yeah, without saying a goddamned word to me, because you knew I'd want to investigate it myself!"_

" _The information was not even valid," Byakuya argued, "Yes, it is true that there was a group of transformative hollows targeting vulnerable souls passing through the precipice world, but the time period was off and in addition, the cleaner was never a factor in what those hollows did. If you had gone, it would have been several weeks of wasted time and you would only have come to the same conclusion. I made the best decision as required by my position. You know that I am not supposed to share restricted information with civilians."_

" _That's not why you didn't tell me!" Ichigo snapped._

" _It is in part," Byakuya countered, "though not all. Yes, it did also affect my decision that you would have left, yet again, and once more missed the counseling that we are all supposed to be attending."_

" _I don't need fucking counseling!" Ichigo roared, tears coming to his eyes, "I need to find my son!"_

" _I know," Byakuya assured him, taking him firmly by the shoulders, "I want to find Soujun as much as you do! But at the same time, you have to remember, there are two other young children who have lost their little brother! As much as Soujun needs us, these children need us too! We have to be there for them as they deal with this."_

" _That's why you're here," Ichigo argued, "Sometimes parents have to divide and conquer. You know that, Byakuya!"_

" _I do," Byakuya agreed, "and to an extent, I am going to do that. But we are coming to the point where it is becoming evident that there are no viable leads."_

" _No."_

" _No trail you have followed for the last several months has led to any conclusion but that Soujun died in the precipice world that night."_

" _Stop it!" Ichigo sobbed, his hand tearing at his clothed chest, "He isn't dead! I would know. I would feel it right here if he was gone! Soujun was my kid. He came out of me, Byakuya! Maybe it's easier for you because you still have the kids you gave birth to!"_

 _Byakuya's jaw clenched and his grey eyes darkened._

" _You are saying that I think of Soujun differently because he was not born out of me?" he repeated numbly, "Ichigo, how could you think something like that?"_

" _Soujun is out there alone and scared somewhere!" Ichigo shouted, pointing out the garden doors, "But all you can think about is keeping me here…"_

" _And taking care of the children we have left!" Byakuya exclaimed, "Torao is withdrawing from everyone, Ichigo! Suki can barely sleep from the nightmares. You and I are adults, but they are too young to have such burdens placed on them without some guidance. And you…you are grieving, Ichigo. You need to be with people who care about you…who can help you to…"_

" _Don't say it!" Ichigo hissed, his tormented eyes going so deadly that Byakuya froze and just continued to stare at him, "Don't you dare say I should just accept this. I am going to keep looking for him, and if you can't accept that, then…"_

" _Stop," Byakuya warned him, "Do not make this worse by taking steps that will only hurt all of us more, Ichigo. We need to sit down, calm ourselves and…"_

" _I don't need to calm down," Ichigo said in a low, enraged tone, "And I know what I'm doing. You purposely interfered with me trying to find Soujun…"_

" _By hiding useless information that would have led you nowhere."_

" _You didn't know that!"_

" _I had the matter investigated and the information was proven false, saving you the effort and worry."_

" _You didn't have a right to make that decision!" Ichigo insisted, "It was a betrayal, and you know it."_

" _I was not betraying you or trying to stop you from looking for our son."_

" _You were! It doesn't matter that it was bad information. What matters is that you were manipulating the situation. You had no right to make that decision for me!"_

" _No," Byakuya agreed, "perhaps I did not. Perhaps I should have broken Gotei rules and sent you on a wild goose chase that would have taken you away when your children and I need you here."_

" _You're not the ones still in danger," Ichigo said angrily, "and if you can't understand that, then we have nothing more to say!"_

" _What does that mean, Ichigo?" Byakuya asked, a hint of fear touching the centers of his eyes._

" _You know what it means," Ichigo said, lowering his eyes, "I'm leaving."_

" _You cannot abandon our marriage. You cannot abandon our children because you are angry with me!"_

" _I'm not leaving Suki and Torao. I'm leaving you."_

" _Ichigo!"_

" _I love you and I'm sorry, Byakuya, but I can't trust you anymore…not after this. I'll see the children. I'll help them as much as I can, but…it's over for you and me."_

A soft footstep behind Ichigo distracted him out of his thoughts and he straightened and turned.

"Hey Toshi," he began.

He went silent for a moment, staring in surprise as his eyes encountered, not his attendant, but the reigning quincy king. Uryu was dressed in white and wearing a new, slightly longer cape, as well as a jewel encrusted silver band that went around his forehead.

"Uryu!"

"Hello, Ichigo," his old friend greeted him, "It's been a while."

"Yeah, it has," Ichigo said, smiling and taking Uryu's hand in his, "What're you doing here?"

"I heard about the attack on Byakuya," Uryu explained, "I thought the story was strange because he was identified in our spy's reports as an unmarked soldier."

"He wasn't wearing all of the stuff he usually does," Ichigo acknowledged, "He was in a hurry."

"It's probably good that he wasn't," Uryu explained, "The spy didn't know it was Byakuya. I only figured it out when I heard that Byakuya had been injured. That means that the ones responsible for injuring him are not aware of who he is and that he is still alive."

"So, who was it that attacked Byakuya?" Ichigo asked, "I owe those guys some payback for what they did."

Uryu shook his head firmly.

"You can't go after them, Ichigo," he insisted, "These guys run a band of rebels that have been hiding out and training."

Ichigo's frown deepened.

"What do they want?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"Well, the first thing will probably be to kill me," Uryu said with surprising calm.

"They wanna kill you?" Ichigo exclaimed, "Then, we need to find them and…"

"Hold on a second, okay?" Uryu snapped, "You need to lisiten."

"What's to listen to?" Ichigo argued, "Those assholes tried to kill my husband…"

"You _ex_ -husband, and they didn't even know it was him," Uryu managed.

"And now, they wanna kill my friend!"

"And restart the war with the shinigamis," Uryu added.

"Restart the war?" Ichigo said, looking confused, "But I killed Juha Bach. How can they…?"

"We don't know that yet," Uryu admitted, "But they have killed some people and taken some hostages. We've heard that they are developing something dangerous that is based on Bach's reiatsu."

"But the guy is dead," Ichigo objected.

"And I have not ever used the power he left. But…there was someone whose power was infected with Bach's reiatsu just before he died…the guy who struck him down…you, Ichigo."

"What?" Ichigo mused, "Uryu, what are you saying?"

"Juha Bach knew all along I would betray him," Uryu explained, "He still left his power in me, but there's something strange about it…almost like it's not mine at all."

"What do you mean?"

"Right now, while I'm close to you, I feel a bit of his presence, like it's still living in you."

"Living in me?" Ichigo repeated, giving his friend a mystified look.

"Yeah," Uryu confirmed.

"But…I don't feel anything off. And wouldn't it have been found when I was examined after the war?"

"The shinigamis aren't in tune with the power, and I was new to my position and I wrote off the presence of that reiatsu because I figured that it would die because he had. But being near you now, I see it hasn't…and I think the reason it lives is because it now belongs to me."

"Yeah, that makes sense, you being his heir. So…what? Do you want to take it back from me?" Ichigo asked.

"I will eventually," Uryu answered, "but first, my father has to prepare, because remember that the way to take it back is through Auswhalen, and that causes a silver clot to form in the heart of the one from whom the power is harvested. I'm not taking any chances. I'll wait and transfer that power later…then, when it's all back in me, I'll destroy it!"

"Okay," Ichigo agreed, "So…what do you want me to do in the meantime?"

Uryu glanced down at the children.

"I need to check them for signs of transferred reiatsu from you," the quincy explained, "If they received any reiatsu that came from Bach, they will also need it removed. I don't think we'll find any in them. I would be more concerned about your son, Soujun, if he was still here, because there is more of a chance of that power transferring when the child is born of your body."

Uryu read the saddened expression Ichigo wore and hastened to apologize.

"I'm sorry, Ichigo. I know that it's been hard."

"It's okay," Ichigo assured him, "I just still don't wanna believe he's gone."

"I know. He was a sweet kid…very kind. Kisuke told me that it seemed like he inherited that from Byakuya's father."

"Yeah," Ichigo said, smiling nostalgically, "Byakuya said that too."

Ichigo gave a long sigh.

"But Soujun is gone, and we can't find any sign, even now. The Gotei says that he was swallowed up by the cleaner when it took Byakuya and him by surprise."

"And do you think that's what happened?" Uryu asked.

"Why? Do you have information that it might not be true?" Ichigo inquired urgently.

"No, sorry," Uryu apologized, "I only asked because once the countermeasures for the Auswhalen are in place and you and any children you have are protected, the only thing that could keep it from working properly is if there is another living soul who carries traces of that reiatsu Bach left in you. It would probably still not be enough to be a huge problem for me. I would be stronger than an untrained mixed blood quincy, so I would probably take his power too. But if Soujun was still alive and he was not treated, the silver clot would form in his heart and he would die."

"Kami," Ichigo said worriedly, "Uryu…"

"That's one of the reasons I came to you before doing anything. I thought that if there's anything I can do to help confirm what happened to your son and to prepare anyone else who might be affected, I need to do that before we proceed."

Ichigo took in a long breath and let it go in a shuddering sigh.

"I don't know what to do," Ichigo said in a lost voice, "I've been searching for Soujun for all of this time and there's never been a sign he survived. I wanna believe he's still out there and just lost and waiting for Byakuya and me to save him, but…"

"Hey," Uryu said, laying a hand on his arm, "Ichigo, if you have any doubts at all, you should keep looking. You have a lot of people to help you."

"Yeah," Ichigo said uneasily.

Uryu studied him quietly for a moment.

"Are you going to tell Byakuya about this now?" he asked.

"I should since the kids are involved," Ichigo decided, "but you should check the other children now. Get it out of the way. I'll talk to Byakuya later."

"All right," Uryu said, stepping up onto the rail then employing his hirenyaku.

Ichigo watched as the children paused and listened while Uryu spoke to them, then nodded and allowed him to scan each of them, before returning to Ichigo's side.

"Neither of your children has any of Bach's reiatsu," Uryu reported, "So, when we've finished preparing our protections for you, I'll come back and let you know."

"And while we're waiting, I'm gonna tell Byakuya and the kids. If this is gonna happen, I think we all need to give finding Soujun one more try. We owe him that."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya sat quietly with Tama at his side, as Kisuke carefully examined him, first checking his vital signs, then scanning each of his spirit centers. He looked over the perfectly healed, pale flesh of his back and chest, then nodded his approval.

"Much better," he commented, "If you feel up to going home, Tama said that he will go with you."

"I thought the two of you had plans," Byakuya remembered, "My father was looking forward to your anniversary celebration."

Kisuke smiled.

"He'll be back in time for that. Don't worry. I know you've been anxious to get back to your kids."

Byakuya sighed softly, looking out the window.

"I think my return can wait until tomorrow," he decided, "I am on injury leave and Ichigo assured me that the children are enjoying their visit to the Shiba estate."

"Don't want to go back to an empty house?" Kisuke sympathized.

"The emptiness in that place goes beyond just the children and me," Byakuya said, lowering his eyes, "It stopped feeling like a home some time ago."

"Yeah? Well, maybe if you go back and talk to Ichigo, you two can hash things out, you know? He was with you every minute you were unconscious. He looked scared out of his wits you were going to die."

"Yes, well, his concern and attentiveness ended as soon as he was sure I would not die," Byakuya said dryly, "It seems he only wants me to live to regret my mistakes."

"I think you're being a little harsh, _segare_ ," Tama said soothingly, "Maybe my husband is right. In light of your injury, maybe Ichigo will be more open to a reconciliation."

"I am not going to use my injury to lure Ichigo back to me," Byakuya said, frowning, "If I did, then I would only prove to him I am as deceptive as he accused me of being. I appreciate the two of you attempting to encourage me, however, Ichigo has made his choice, and there is nothing I can do. I cannot force Ichigo to love me."

"What kinda nonsense is that?" Ichigo asked from the doorway.

He stepped into the room and approached the bed as Tama and Kisuke exchanged glances and quietly slipped out the door, leaving the two alone.

Byakuya looked up at Ichigo silently, his face going a shade paler.

"Byakuya, you know I love you," Ichigo said, frowning, "I tell you that all of the time. Do you think I would have taken care of you like I did if I didn't love you?"

He blinked in surprise as Byakuya's head bowed slowly and a tear escaped onto his porcelain cheek.

"What you feel is not love, Ichigo, but obligation," he said softly, "You care for me because I gave you children."

"That's not true!" Ichigo objected, "I don't just care for you because of them! That's not why!"

"But it is," Byakuya whispered defeatedly, "I know how you are with the people you love, Ichigo. If you loved me, you would have found a way to forgive me."

"Byakuya, why are you talking like this? Did something happen?"

Byakuya loosed a shuddering sigh.

"You were forced to be with me," he persisted, "You did not choose me."

"We've been over this a hundred times!" Ichigo exclaimed, "I may not have chosen you at first, but I did decide to stay with you. Byakuya, you know that! I did choose to be with you."

"Until I made a grievous mistake," Byakuya whispered, "One I have regretted every day since. But my regrets do not matter. What I do, what I say, what I feel does not matter. All that matters to you is that I live and breathe. That is not love, Ichigo. That is torture."

"What am I supposed to do?" Ichigo asked brokenly, his eyes filling with tears, "What you did was worse than lying to me. You withheld clues that could have led me to my son!"

"He is _our_ son, Ichigo!" Byakuya exclaimed, "Just as Suki and Torao are _our_ children! I assure you, although I admit now that what I did was wrong, I did have it thoroughly investigated, and it was never going to lead us to Soujun."

Byakuya took a staggering breath.

"And what makes this harder for me to understand is how you can so easily forgive your enemies for far worse things, but if one close to you dares to make a mistake, that person cannot be forgiven."

"That's not true!" Ichigo sobbed, "It's just that S-soujun was…"

"I know," Byakuya assured him, taking Ichigo's shaking hand in his, "He was born out of you. You feel something very special, having given birth to him, and having had Suki and Torao, I understand how that feels. But what I am telling you is that I am equally heartbroken that we lost our son, Ichigo. I want every bit as much to find Soujun as you do, or to at least know his fate."

"I know you do," Ichigo answered, drawing a stinging breath and sitting down on the bed, "I'm…s-sorry Byakuya. I know I must sound pretty selfish to you."

Byakuya shook his head gently and took Ichigo's face in his hands, using his thumbs to brush away his ex-husband's tears.

"You are heartbroken," Byakuya corrected him, kissing him tenderly, "I know that made my transgression feel a hundred times worse. But, if you can just please listen to me and really think about what I say to you, I would be very grateful…and it would make the burden of our separation somewhat easier for me to bear."

Ichigo bit nervously at his lip and gave a stiff nod.

"Okay," he managed.

"I am sorry for withholding that information from you. It was wrong, and I very much regret it. And if you feel so very strongly that Soujun somehow lives, then I will use the leave I have been granted and help you search for him now. The children are safe and comfortable, and you and I have no pressing obligations."

Ichigo's teary eyes widened.

"You would do that for me? Even now?" he whispered strickenly.

"I love you, Ichigo," Byakuya assured him, "whatever I can do to show you that love, I will."

"I need you right now," Ichigo sobbed, burying his face in Byakuya's shoulder, "There is something we have to talk about. I'll tell you while we walk back to Soul Society."

"But I thought that…" Byakuya began.

"We'll need a day or two to prepare for a thorough search, and besides, you still need more rest."

"I am fine," Byakuya assured him, following Ichigo out of the bed and standing beside it, "I am cleared to return home."

"To rest," Ichigo said firmly, "I'm going with you."

"What? You mean…just to prepare for the search?" Byakuya queried cautiously.

"I don't know how long I'll stay," Ichigo said honestly, "But if you still love me and you want to try to work things out, I'm gonna try too."

Byakuya let out a long, relieved breath and hugged Ichigo tightly.

"Thank you," he whispered, "I know it is not a promise that you will stay, but the children and I will be happy to have you there at home."

"Okay then, let's go tell them," Ichigo said, giving Byakuya a tentative smile.

"I just need a moment to change. I will be right back," Byakuya said, heading towards the bathroom.

He had just stepped inside, when an odd, sharp pain throbbed in his chest. Byakuya pressed a hand to his breast, breathing slowly as the pain radiated powerfully for a moment, then faded.

 _I have only just recovered from the injury to my heart_ , he reminded himself, _I am sure the pains will fade as I continue to heal._

He dressed quickly and by the time he returned to the bedroom, the strange pain was forgotten. Ichigo took Byakuya's hand and led him down the hall and towards the senkaimon in the underground training room. Kisuke and Tama peeked out of the kitchen as the two passed.

"It looks like the talk they had went well," Kisuke commented.

"It looks that way," Tama said, smiling sadly, "I just hope that they are able to put their life back together. They deserve to be happy again."

"Don't worry," Kisuke said, embracing Byakuya's father and kissing him comfortingly, "I really think they will be."


	5. Connections

**Chapter 5: Connections**

 **(Sorry to post and run, but things are busy today! I will catch up on shout outs next chapter. Enjoy the new one! Love, Spunky)**

Aric felt a throbbing ache in his head and began to rise out of the deep sleep he was in, but try as he might, he couldn't lift himself from under the heavy weight that seemed to hold his body down. His mind felt muddled and slow, and his eyes would only crack open slightly, refusing to focus on the sea of dark humanoid shapes that moved around him.

 _What's happening?_

 _I know I was sleeping in my bed. But I remember that I didn't just fall asleep because I was tired. Something happened as I was drifting off. The bedroom door opened and someone said something. I felt…dizzy._

 _What's going on?_

He squinted his barely seeing eyes and noticed that some of the humanoid shapes laid haphazardly on the ground in a sort of circle around the altar-like structure he seemed to be laid upon.

 _Who are those people?_

 _What happened to them?_

 _Are they…dead?_

His heart started to pound and he tried again to move his body, but found that he was not just weakened somehow, but tied down. He heard approaching voices and went still, trying hard to feign sleep, but listening carefully.

"The test went well," Heilgar's voice said approvingly, "All of them have died within the expected time period after their initial exposure to the reiatsu we took from the boy."

 _They killed those people…with reiatsu from me?_

"Your idea of bathing arrowheads in his reiatsu and hypnotizing him to use his power to finish them is brilliant," the second man said, "And as you thought, it works on quincies, hollows and humans. We need only to test it on some shinigamis."

Heilgar smirked.

"We would already have some data on that, but I was a bit overzealous and killed the shinigami I used them on. Live and learn…"

 _Heilgar used the reiatsu on…?_

"Oh, are you awake?" Heilgar said, looking at Aric through narrowed eyes, "That won't do at all, will it?"

He moved towards Aric, picking up a syringe and preparing it as he closed in on the youth.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Aric stammered weakly, "N-no, Heilgar! Stop it! D-DON'T!"

He stared in dismay as his mentor plunged the needle into his restrained arm. The two men gazed down at him through chillingly calm eyes as the drug he was given started to take effect.

"Heilgar, no! S-stop!" Aric sobbed, struggling as dizziness overtook his mind and his thoughts began to grow jumbled and confused.

 _What did he say? I have to remember! It w-was about the arrows and…and sh-shinigami…that shinigami…I have to…_

Heilgar waited until Aric no longer moved except to breathe, then he broke the bonds holding the boy down and lifted him off of the altar.

"We will need at least twenty or so shinigamis, and make sure that your team collects subjects across a range of ability. I want to see how the strength of the shinigami's reiatsu affects the absorption and activation speed of Aric's reiatsu."

"Yes, sir," the other man answered.

Heilgar headed out of the chamber, pausing near the entrance, where two younger men waited silently.

"Clean up, will you?" he ordered them, "You can destroy the bodies. We're done with them."

"Yes, sir!"

Heilgar carried Aric's limp form down several stone corridors, and into one of the camp's living chambers, where he laid the youth down in his bed and motioned for a frightened looking attendant to join him.

"S-sir," the little boy said in a trembling voice.

"You are to let Aric sleep," the man told the young attendant, "He will probably sleep for much of the day. His reiatsu is very low after the tests. When he does wake, you are to make sure that he eats well, and that he does not train for two days to allow his body to be fully restored."

"Y-yes, sir."

The boy swallowed hard, watching through widened eyes as Heilgar left, then slowly approaching Aric's bed. He arranged the pillows more comfortably under the elder youth's head and tucked him in warmly. He noted the sweat on Aric's face and stepped away for a moment, then returned with a cool, dampened cloth he used to wash the sweat away.

"He's horrible," the attendant whispered, "I don't like that they're hurting you, Prince Aric. Please sleep well. I will be back soon with your food, sir."

He checked one more time to ensure that his young master was comfortable, then slipped out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you sure you're up to walking all of the way back?" Ichigo asked as he and Byakuya entered the precipice world, "You know, we could summon your spirit steed to ride."

Byakuya felt a little shiver go through him as the senkaimon closed behind them.

"It's fine," he assured the ginger-haired man, brushing off the touch of anxiety, "I just need to walk slowly."

Ichigo nodded.

"That will give us plenty of time to talk."

"Yes, you said that you had something to tell me," Byakuya remembered.

"Yeah," Ichigo said, looking around the dark corridor and edging closer to his ex-husband as they moved forward, "Uryu came to see me today."

"Your friend, the quincy king?" Byakuya inquired, "You have not seen him…"

"For quite a while, yeah," Ichigo agreed, glancing at Byakuya, then looking at the corridor ahead of them, "It wasn't a social call. There's trouble coming. He wanted to warn me."

"What kind of trouble?" asked Byakuya, "We have an agreement with the quincies. Are you saying that they could break that agreement?"

"Uryu and the quincy noble lords are still committed to keeping the peace, just as we are," Ichigo explained, "but he says that not everyone feels that way."

"Of course. There will always be disagreement on some level, but it sounds as though he is concerned that there is the potential for the dissidents to cause significant damage."

"Yeah," Ichigo confirmed, "There is a group of rebels who he believes will try to kill him and renew hostilities with us."

"And if King Ishida was concerned enough to inform you, and to do so personally, I would say that the threat is not without merit."

"Oh, I think it's serious all right," Ichigo said worriedly.

"Kyouraku soutaichou needs to be notified about this," Byakuya suggested.

"I think you're right," agreed Ichigo, "But Byakuya, there's more…and it concerns Soujun and me."

"Soujun?" Byakuya repeated, "What have you and Soujun to do with the rebels' plans?"

"Well, we all know that Juha Bach made Uryu his official successor."

"Yes."

"When he was killed, Uryu inherited his Auswhalen and Almighty abilities."

"Which troubles Central 46 greatly," Byakuya commented, "but he is an ally. As long as he contains that power…"

"That's the problem," explained Ichigo, "See, Uryu thinks that he might not be completely in control of it."

Byakuya's frown deepened.

"Do you mean that he is having trouble mastering the abilities?" he asked.

Ichigo sighed anxiously.

"No. It's not that. Uryu told me that he believes Juha Bach foresaw that Uryu was never really on his side. And even though he gave Uryu command of his powers, when he was struck down by me, he placed some of his power in me also."

Byakuya considered for a moment, then he caught his breath softly.

"And because the power was ceded to King Ishida upon Bach's death, the reiatsu in you did not die with the quincy king," he surmised.

"It didn't," Ichigo confirmed, meeting Byakuya's eyes meaningfully, "It's been there ever since, and when we had the kids, each time, there was the chance some would be transferred to them."

"Did your friend examine Suki and Torao already?"

Ichigo nodded.

"That's part of the reason he came to me. Don't worry, neither Suki nor Torao had any of the reiatsu in them."

Deeper worry registered in Byakuya's dark eyes, bringing a curious expression onto Ichigo's handsome face. He touched Byakuya's cheek, meeting his gaze questioningly.

"You understand the problem," concluded Ichigo, "and you're worried about it too."

"The former king obviously must have foreseen that the power he placed in you could be a danger to Uryu."

"Yeah, Uryu wants to destroy that power. And to make sure that it's destroyed completely, he has to use the Auswhalen to reclaim the part of Bach's power that is in me."

"But Ichigo," Byakuya objected, "It is my understanding that when Auswhalen is used, it kills those the power is taken from. It leaves a silver clot in their hearts…"

"That's right," Ichigo affirmed, "But Uryu won't use the Auswhalen until he and his father have found a way to protect me…and…"

"Soujun, if he is still alive, and was a recipient of that reiatsu," Byakuya reasoned.

The two men were silent for a moment. Ichigo took Byakuya's hand and gave him a tentative smile.

"You still think Soujun could be alive, don't you?" he asked, "Because when I told you that he could have received Bach's reiatsu from me, you looked concerned for him."

Byakuya loosed a soft, piqued breath and turned away, continuing down the corridor.

"I have always believed there was a chance that he could be alive," he reminded Ichigo, an edge of annoyance in his tone.

"But you kept going on about counseling," Ichigo remembered, "And you even interfered with me learning about that information you were given. It seemed like you gave up on him a long time ago…and you wanted me to give up too."

"No," Byakuya said firmly, slowing as they approached the exit into Soul Society, "I explained this to you. The counseling was necessary so that the children could cope. For them, the loss was immediate and it was devastating. They do not have our wisdom, our experiences encountering death. They needed to be able to cope with the emotions they were experiencing. Both our counselor and I always made sure that they knew there was doubt about their brother's fate. There was a chance he could be alive. But…we had to find a way to move forward, whether Soujun was alive or not. That the children were able to grieve and to have some level of closure was important. It never meant that any of us gave up on Soujun, we were simply contending with the reality of him being gone. I still followed leads that came in. I just entrusted the investigation to capable people so that I could focus on Suki and Torao, and also respond to any viable information."

"I just wanted to be sure, myself, that nothing was missed, that every lead was followed," Ichigo sighed somberly, "I would have been that way about Suki or Torao…or you, Byakuya."

"I know," Byakuya said quietly, "You are steadfast in being there for the ones you love. But…you simply could not be there for Soujun the way you wanted, and still here for us."

"You weren't _missing_!"

"But, all of us were hurting. And while you continued searching, you did not allow yourself to confront the reality."

"I wasn't ready to believe Soujun was dead, that's all!" Ichigo argued.

"I was not ready to accept that either," Byakuya countered, "What was different was the way in which we chose to handle that."

"That doesn't make me wrong to try to find my son!" Ichigo insisted.

"No, it does not," Byakuya agreed, "But while doing that, you forgot to also think about the continuing needs of yourself and the rest of us. That is where we differ, Ichigo."

"Oh, and you were thinking about Soujun and me when you held back that information?" Ichigo asked stridently.

"I was taking a more balanced approach," Byakuya explained, "It does not mean that what I did was right, but I was thinking of all of us. If not, I would not have put my most capable subordinates on the task of following the lead I was given. Ichigo, we both did what we thought was best, right or wrong. Neither of us was wholly correct. We both made mistakes."

"Yeah," Ichigo admitted, coloring.

He let out a frustrated breath.

"I'm sorry, Byakuya," he apologized, "I'm really trying here…"

"Yes, I know," Byakuya assured him, stopping as they reached the gates in front of the Shiba estate, "and I deeply appreciate that. I am…glad you are coming home. I hope that someday we can move past all of this. I have missed you for all of these years you have been gone."

"I've missed you too!" exclaimed Ichigo, turning and wrapping his arms around Byakuya, and smiling as his embrace was returned, "Nothing was the same without you."

His head dipped slightly to offer his former husband a tender kiss.

"Daddy Bya? Daddy Ichigo?" Suki's voice called out suddenly.

The two looked in the direction of the sound and spotted Suki, Torao and Tora standing alongside Tetsuya and Arashi.

"I was about to take the children for a visit with Akane," Tetsuya informed them, "But as you are back, I will take Tora home and the others may join us there later."

"That's not necessary," Ichigo said, looking into Suki and Torao's questioning eyes, "I'm going to be going home with you."

Torao's eyes narrowed skeptically, but Suki's widened and she broke into a hopeful smile.

"Y-you're coming home…?"

"Yeah," Ichigo confirmed, "Byakuya and I have decided that we want to try to work through things. I am going to come to stay at Kuchiki Manor while we do that."

"It is not a guarantee that Ichigo will stay permanently," Byakuya cautioned the two, "but we would like very much to try to mend our family together."

"I'm so glad!" Suki exclaimed, running forward to hug Ichigo tightly, "It was so much better before, when you were with us!"

She stiffened for a moment, blushing as she realized what she had said.

"I'm sorry, Daddy Bya. I just…I didn't mean that you…," she stammered.

"It is fine, child," Byakuya assured her, "I also much preferred the way it was when Ichigo lived with us."

"Except that he's probably not going to stay," Torao said icily, crossing his arms, "You should just not come back at all!"

"Torao!" Byakuya said sternly.

He started to follow as the youth turned and flash stepped away, then he paused as Ichigo's hand touched his arm.

"Maybe you should let him go," Ichigo suggested, "He's got reason to be angry, and I know he's spent the last six years being angry at you. I guess it's my turn."

"It will take time for you to earn his trust again," Byakuya observed solemnly.

"Yeah, his…and yours too, right?" Ichigo sighed pensively, "I really messed things up when I left, didn't I?"

Byakuya considered his words carefully as the two began walking together, while Tetsuya, Suki and Tora hung back a short distance behind them.

"You did what you felt you had to do. You should not dwell on that, but on mending things."

"Right," Ichigo answered, looking in the direction Torao had gone.

The group continued quietly along the road with Tora and Suki whispering to each other. A short time later, they reached Kuchiki Manor and were welcomed by the house guards.

"Welcome home Byakuya-sama. Welcome, Shiba-sama."

Tetsuya led Tora and Suki off towards Akane's room, while Byakuya and Ichigo turned towards the main house. Torio appeared in front of them with a boy of eleven at his side.

"Takeo," Byakuya addressed Torio's son, "will you please see that a guest room is prepared immediately for Ichigo?"

"Yes, sir!" the green-eyed boy said enthusiastically, before turning and racing away.

"A guest room?" Ichigo mused, glancing at Byakuya questioningly.

"Torio," Byakuya continued, "Ichigo and I will bathe and then have dinner with the children in the gardens."

"Yes, Byakuya-sama," Torio answered, bowing, then flash stepping away.

Byakuya observed the piqued look Ichigo wore and sighed softly.

"Ichigo," he said, coloring slightly, "I know we have a long history together."

"Yeah, we were married," Ichigo said, frowning, "And I thought that we were reconciling. You're not going to let me sleep next to you?"

"We are unmarried," Byakuya explained, "and it would be frowned upon for me to cohabitate with someone I am not married to. If you will remember, we did not do so before our wedding."

"So, you'll get naked in front of me in the bathing chamber, but you won't sleep with me? That's kinda cruel."

Byakuya gave him an offended look.

"Bathing with an important guest is a sign of respect," he said shortly, "They are wholly different things, Ichigo."

"W-well, we slept together at Kisuke's while you were healing," Ichigo reminded him.

"I think that was just a reflex," Byakuya suggested, "I did nearly die, and I was deeply surprised at finding myself in your arms."

"Look, I'm just trying to understand what the ground rules are here. So, we can have sex other places, but not here? We can share a bed if it's somewhere else?"

"I believe that it would be better if we focus on resolving our differences before engaging in further coitus…or nocturnal cuddling."

Ichigo gave him a skeptical look that mirrored the one their son had given them earlier.

"You know what I think?" Ichigo asked, scowling, "I think you're still pissed and getting back at me! Excuse me. I'm going to bathe in my guest room. I'll see you and the kids for dinner."

"I look forward to that," Byakuya said sedately.

"Yeah," Ichigo huffed under his breath, "I'll bet you do."

He paused and glanced back over his shoulder, gazing at Byakuya's fluttering hair and slender back. Regrets nagged at his insides and he sighed unhappily.

"I guess I deserve that," he whispered, lowering his eyes, "I didn't see it, being away from you like I was. Maybe I didn't want to know…how much I hurt you and the kids."

 _Well, at least we're trying to fix this. I just need to prove to them that they can trust me not to leave them again. It's not going to be easy, that's for sure._

 _But Byakuya, Suki and Torao…are my family._


	6. Memory

**Chapter 6: Memory**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **(Hey guys! Thanks so much for the beautiful support you've been giving this story. End of summer vacation and busy RL has slowed me down, but I finally finished this chapter. Dang! Just set my glasses down for a second and now I can't find them! I will have to edit my comments later. I think I can type without being able to see what I'm writing...Anyway, thanks going out to Aizenfan6969 (You know, you're a little too smart for your own good. Can't confirm anything without spoiling, so I will just smile and say thanks!), Winterheart2000 (Yup! And another is in the works too! Stay tuned!), Jaundrie (Aww, you are so sweet! I'm glad to brighten your day, although, this next chapter made me tear up a bit...might want to have tissues ready if you cry easily like I do.), Kisuke Byakuya (Yeah, I have to admit, I giggled writing the part about Bya putting Ichigo gently and politely in his place.), Yukino76 (You are very, very welcome!), AdalieDelacroix (As Ichigo confronts the fallout from what he did, he will discover Byakuya's insecurities and they will have to work on those. Abandonment, and during a huge loss is a hard one to overcome, but Ichigo is nothing if not determined. And he will have even more incentive to work at it...), Ashesofthefirststar (I absolutely love writing things in Byakuya's words. Polite phrasing of impolite/private things gives me giggle fits. I also didn't mind seeing Ichigo pay a bit for his actions. He is definitely going to have to work for this. But he and Byakuya are motivated to fix things.), Tiffany91 (You're right that Ichigo has not really faced what he did to Byakuya and the kids, nor has he ever dealt with his feelings about losing Soujun. But things have a way of catching up with a person!), Hisuiryuu (Not to worry! I think there will be some sweet temptation and cuddling going on pretty soon!), Siwon611 (Ichigo's return will force him to face the full impact of the family's loss and how he made that worse by not being there. Trust issues are hard, and they heal slowly. Don't ask me how I know that...), EdensDespair (Those loose ends are knitting together, so soon the questions you have will be answered. Some definite hints appear in this chapter.), Beaker (Thanks a million!), Jess0409 (Here you go!), and Picklez80 (Heilgar's plan is dastardly, but there's about to be a little wrinkle...) Enjoy the chapter! Love to all, Spunky)**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

A flutter in the reiatsu around Ichigo warned him of his ex-husband's approach, and he looked up from where he knelt at the edge of the koi pond, beneath the spreading branches of a plum tree, and gazing at the full moon's lovely reflection. His eyes found Byakuya, dressed in a handsome dark green yukata and a soft, heather grey robe. His hair was freed of decoration and fluttered in the gentle breeze while he moved through the gardens, heading for his favorite moon gazing location.

"Hey," Ichigo said, smiling, "am I allowed to join you for moon gazing?"

"Of course," Byakuya answered, pausing to wait as Ichigo climbed to his feet and fell in beside him.

"Things were pretty tense at dinner," Ichigo commented, "But at least Torao showed up, even if he did spend most of the time glaring at me and not talking to me."

Byakuya's lips twitched barely perceptibly.

"Torao is well aware that insulting behavior is not tolerated at the dinner table," he commented as they passed through the back gate and moved onto the forest trail.

"You run a pretty tight ship here," Ichigo noted, "but then, you always were the one who did more of the disciplining."

"Children need structure as well as increasing responsibility and freedoms to grow to be both independent and wise."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, "It's funny. I complain about my dad sometimes…about how he was so crazy and weird. But you know, when I look back, he did expect a lot of my sisters and me. After Mom died, we had to step up and help out a lot, since Dad was on call or on duty at the clinic a lot of the time."

"I did not necessarily approve of much about Shiba Isshin, but he was a capable taichou. His division was highly regarded, despite his more impulsive nature."

Ichigo smiled.

"I guess he passed that on to me," he sighed, "Sometimes it's really hard for me to slow down and think when things start happening."

"Well, on balance, it can be a good thing too, as it allows you the ability to make decisions under pressure."

"Except that they're not always the best decisions," Ichigo sighed.

"Your decisions are a reflection of the state of your heart," Byakuya observed.

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, lowering his eyes, "I guess that's why they were such a mess after Soujun disappeared. At the time, I was just so afraid…so desperate. I could only focus on him. I lost sight of everything else. That was a mistake, Byakuya. That's how I lost one of the best things that ever happened to me."

Byakuya gave him a cautious, sideways glance that made Ichigo's smile widen, as he slipped an arm around Byakuya.

" _You_." he clarified, "I lost you."

"You have not lost me," Byakuya replied, quietly accepting as Ichigo pulled him closer and they continued down the trail, "We are only not married anymore. I thought that was what you wanted."

"Not really," Ichigo sighed sadly, "Look, I was…messed up over Soujun. I was mixed up and not seeing straight. I left responsibility for Suki and Torao with you, and I didn't stop to think of how much all of you were hurting too. I was just…so sure that our boy was alive and in danger. I wanted so badly to find him, but there was nothing I could do. I got angry, but there was nowhere to put that anger. I guess that's why when I found out about the information you kept from me, I reacted like I did. I took all of that anger and threw it at you. You didn't deserve that. I shouldn't have blown up like I did over it. And…I shouldn't have left you."

He swallowed hard, pausing as the two reached their favorite moon gazing spot under one of the blooming sakura trees at the top of a cliff that overlooked the lake and meadow area they used for training.

"I'm sorry Byakuya," he said softly, taking his ex-husband's hands in his and gazing into Byakuya's dark, thoughtful eyes, "I know I did a lot of damage. I hurt you, I hurt our kids, and I hurt myself too. I did all of that, and I wasn't even able to bring Soujun home. I gave up everything, then failed…"

"Ichigo," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "I know in my heart that if you could not save Soujun, he could not be saved. I understood all along what you were doing and why."

"But you just gave in. You didn't really even try to stop me. If you didn't want me to leave, why didn't you try harder to convince me to stay?"

Byakuya took Ichigo's face in his hands and kissed him comfortingly.

"I knew I was not going to be able to stop you from leaving, and to have fought the divorce would only have put more pressure on the children to choose sides. I could not choose your path for you, _anata_ , though I did ask you many times to reconsider before we finalized the divorce."

"Right," Ichigo remembered, his eyes filling with regret, "You did. I just…by then, I was losing hope. Soujun was gone, you were gone. And even when the kids came to see me, they seemed distant."

"They were mourning their brother as well as the loss of the family that they knew," Byakuya recalled, "I do not think they meant to take things out on you."

"They didn't," Ichigo assured him, "They were a lot quieter, and we just talked, ate together, trained. We didn't go on camping trips or do the things we used to. It uh…it never felt safe to me again, you know?"

"I understand," Byakuya said, nuzzling Ichigo's cheek and squeezing his hand, "It took us some time and quite a bit of supportive counseling to regain our desire to enjoy those things, and the confidence to partake of them without being caught up in our fears."

"I'm glad that you were able to do that…and…I wish now that I had done that with you," Ichigo confessed, "Maybe if I'd slowed down and listened to you…"

"You are calm and listening now," Byakuya countered, "And as you are, we can work at rebuilding what was damaged."

"Do you really think so?" Ichigo asked, tears coming to his eyes, "Byakuya, tell me honestly, do you think that you'll ever look at me the way you did? That we'll ever be like the family we were before?"

Byakuya kissed him lingeringly.

"We will always be changed by what happened, but we will build a future together that is very much worth the effort. I believe that. You need to believe it too."

"Okay," Ichigo whispered, burying his face in Byakuya's shoulder and breathing in his lovely sakura scent, "If you still think we can, after everything that's happened, then I will too."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hey!" Little B hissed softly, looking nervously around Aric's room as he nudged the older youth to try to rouse him, "Aric. Aric, wake up! Psst! You have to wake up!"

His friend stirred sluggishly and managed to crack open a barely cognizant eye.

"L-little B?" he whispered shakily, "Is that y-you? Are you real?"

"What're you talking about? Am I real? Of course I'm real. Now, get up, fast! Someone's going to come in and catch me with you!"

"Little B, you h-have to get out of here!" Aric sobbed weakly, "I don't want to h-hurt you."

"You're not gonna hurt me," Little B said, shaking his head, "You would never do that."

"Th-they made me kill people!" Aric whispered in a haunted tone, "They'll m-make me do it again. I c-can't!"

Little B's green eyes rounded for a moment, then narrowed again.

"Hey, you couldn't help what they made you do," he said firmly, "And…I'm gonna get you outta here so that they can't do anything like that to you again."

"N-no!" Aric panted, shifting uncomfortably, "No, Little B! If they catch you, they'll make me kill you! Please go!"

"Uh-uh," the redhead boy snapped, crossing his arms defiantly, "No way I'm gonna leave my best friend here for them to use. And if they catch me and kill me, no matter how they do it, it won't be you. We're like brothers. You would never do that to me."

"Little B!" Aric sniffed, rubbing his bloodshot eyes and trying to sit up.

"C'mon," the redhead said, slipping a supportive arm around him and helping him out of the bed, "Shh, be real quiet."

"What about my reiatsu?" Aric asked, blinking to try to clear his stinging eyes as he leaned heavily against his friend, "They'll probably be able to sense it."

"My dad showed me how to hide reiatsu real good," Little B promised, hugging the taller boy against him and leading him to the window, "I'm gonna cover it for you. Just hang on to me and I'll get you outta here, okay?"

"O-okay," Aric managed unsteadily.

"Geez, what did they do to you?" Little B asked worriedly as he helped the elder boy onto the balcony, then held him close and guided their jump to the ground, "They must have used drugs. You're still pretty much out of it."

"They used a needle," Aric said, swaying for a moment as they landed on the ground, just outside the rebel compound.

Little B kept his arm wrapped around Aric as he guided the taller youth through clusters of rock and heavy brush, carefully concealing him as they moved, unseen, past the stern looking sentries, then melted into the forest. As soon as they had reached the safety of the trees, Little B turned and swept Aric up, over his shoulder, earning an exclamation of surprise from the older lad.

"What are you doing?"

"We've gotta run now," Little B panted, looking back at the area behind them, "I'm sure it won't be long before they know you're gone."

"But you can't carry me and run!" Aric objected, "I'm too heavy!"

"No way," Little B chuckled, "They must not feed you very much in that place, cause you're not very heavy at all."

"Liar!" Aric accused him, his lips curving into an affectionate smirk.

Little B shot forward, angling around trees and leaping over stones and fallen logs. But just as the two began to think they had made good their escape, they sensed rising reiatsu behind them, and heard shouts in the distance.

"Put me down, Little B!" Aric gasped frantically, "You can't let them catch you with me!"

"They won't, cause they're gonna get left in the dust!" the redhead assured him, "Hang on, Aric!"

For several minutes, the younger boy seemed to be outrunning the ones following, but one set of running feet seemed to have outdistanced the rest, and was following with unsettling accuracy.

"I can't seem to throw him off!" Little B panted, letting Aric down and grabbing his hand, "But we're almost to my hideout, and they'll never find us if we can get in there!"

The two boys scrambled up a sharp incline, pausing at the top, then freezing as they sensed the close presence of their nearest pursuer. Little B pulled Aric down behind a cluster of brush, and the two made their breaths silent, even as they watched with widened eyes, trying to catch their breath. They nearly jumped out of their skin as a little voice spoke out from behind them.

"P-prince Aric?"

Aric sucked in a surprised breath as his attendant suddenly appeared beside them. Little B struck at the boy instantly, only to have his wrist caught in mid-swing by Aric's restraining hand.

"No, don't hurt him!" Aric hissed.

"I won't let them find you!" the little boy insisted, "My power will allow me to make all of us blend in with the trees and bushes, so they won't see us."

"Good, Lukas!" Aric said approvingly.

"You know this kid?" Little B asked, scowling, "He's not one of them, is he? A rebel?"

"They made me go with them," Lukas explained, "The rebels stole me…l-like they stole Prince Aric!"

"But…" Aric objected.

"Shh!" Little B warned them, "You'd better use that power of yours, kid, and don't screw up. Here they come!"

The three boys cringed and forced themselves deep into the scratchy, thick brush, watching through widened eyes as the pursuing rebels came abreast of them and paused, just short of their hiding place. Heilgar looked around and muttered a curse.

"Damn that little troll!" he huffed, "I want you to search every inch of this forest! Our plans can't proceed without him. We have more of the poisoned arrows, but we need his power to activate the poison, once the shinigamis we capture are pierced with them. I want to know if Aric's power can be used to take down larger numbers of the enemy, all at once."

"We will find him, sir!" one of the other men promised, waving to several more who followed, "Come on! Check under every rock! Find them!"

"That little roach, Lukas, must be helping them," Heilger seethed, "When we find them, I want that snot nosed pest exterminated!"

"Asshole!" breathed Little B, balling his hands into fists, "We'll see who gets exterminated!"

"Take it easy," Aric warned him, "Don't move, Little B!"

The three boys held perfectly still, with Lukas's power carefully shielding them as the searchers ranged around them, coming close, but never looking at them directly. Gradually, they moved off into the distance and the hidden boys slipped away, with Little B leading. They passed through several clusters of rock and climbed over a fallen tree, then crawled down into a little dugout within the brush on the side of a tree covered hill.

"You got your power covering for us?" Little B asked.

Lukas nodded.

"They won't find us now," he assured them.

Little B crossed his arms and glared at Lukas skeptically.

"So, how do we know we can trust you? You were taking orders from them before. How do we know you're not just tricking us now?"

"He could have let us be caught," Aric reminded his friend, "Lukas helped us. We can trust him, Little B."

"All right," Little B said sternly, "But we're both bigger than you, so you do what we tell you. You got that, runt?"

"Hey, don't call him that," Aric objected.

"It's okay, Prince Aric," Lukas said, bowing his head, "They call me worse things at the camp."

"Well, no one's going to be calling you mean names anymore," Aric insisted, "You're our friend, so we'll only call you Lukas."

"Th-thank you, Prince Aric!" Lukas said gratefully, his lips trembling and his blue eyes filling with tears.

"Hey, no crying over stupid things," Little B scolded him more gently, "Why don't you help me get some food together, while Aric rests. He looks pretty beat."

"Okay," Lukas agreed, sniffing and rubbing his hands over his face.

Aric moved to a mat that had been laid down in the corner of the little hideout and stretched out, sighing wearily as he rested his head on a soft pillow.

"So," Little B said, glancing at Lukas as the two prepared their meal, "you said before that you were kidnapped?"

"Mhmm," the smaller boy answered, nodding, "Th-they killed my mom and stole me while my dad wasn't there. They killed everyone in our house, all of the servants and even our dog!"

"Bastards," Little B said scathingly.

"Are your parents alive?" Lukas asked, rubbing his damp eyes.

"Yeah," Little B confirmed, "They are friends of the king, but they don't live at the palace. We have a place in the woods, on my dad's land. My dad is Lord Bazz-B. That's why I'm called Little B. My other dad is Lord Haschwald. He's one of the king's advisors."

"I know about them," Lukas said, his eyes widening, "Lord Heilgar said that they were traitors and put them on the list of people they want to kill, so I know they're good guys."

"Damned straight!" Little B exclaimed, "I should warn them about Heilgar's plans. I'll go after we eat."

"But…alone?" Lukas objected.

Little B gave the smaller boy a cocky smirk.

"Kid, I've been living in this forest my whole life. I'll be fine. I promise. I want you to stay with Aric and make sure those guys don't find him."

"I will," Lukas promised, "I won't let anyone hurt Prince Aric."

Little B considered the younger boy's words, looking over and meeting Aric's eyes for a moment.

"Ah, Kid…erm, Lukas, can you tell me something?" he inquired, "Before, when we were busy running away, you said something about you and Aric, being alike. That you were both stolen. You wanna give us a little explanation about that? What were you saying about Aric?"

"Oh," Lukas said, looking at the other two boys with an anxious expression, "well, I wasn't supposed to hear. I don't think anyone is supposed to know. But I overheard Lord Heilgar talking. He admitted that he and the other rebels _stole_ Prince Aric."

"What?" Aric and Little B mused, staring at the younger boy, "How can that be? I don't remember being stolen. I mean, I don't remember that far back, but I didn't think I was stolen. Everyone here says I am a secret grandchild of Juha Bach."

"I know you are really a prince of some kind," Lukas insisted, "but you aren't who they say you are. Lord Heilgar said he kidnapped you a long time ago and made you forget!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Ichigo accompanied Byakuya back across the gardens and onto the walkway, outside the Kuchiki leader's bedroom, where Byakuya stopped and turned to face him.

"I know," Ichigo said, smiling wearily, "I won't ask to go in. I'll just…kiss you goodnight."

Byakuya nodded silently, easily accepting his embrace and the long, warm kiss he planted on his former husband's soft lips.

"Sleep well, all right?"

"I will," Byakuya answered, turning away and starting into the bedroom.

A moment later, he paused and made a sound of pain as one hand moved up to touch his chest. Ichigo frowned worriedly.

"Are you all right?" he asked uneasily, moving closer and slipping an arm around Byakuya.

"I will be fine in a moment," Byakuya assured him, breathing slowly and rubbing the area until the pain receded, "It is likely just from my injury. It takes time for the after pains to go away, even though the injury itself is gone."

"Right," Ichigo said, looking less than reassured, "But I want you to have Torio check in on you, okay?"

"You do not need to worry," Byakuya chided him, pulling free of him, "I am sure it will go away. And I will be seeing Urahara Kisuke in a couple of days. If it is still bothering me, I can ask him to examine the area then."

"Make sure he does," Ichigo urged him, "You were really badly hurt."

"As I said, I will be fine," Byakuya said, stepping into the bedroom and turning back for a moment, "Goodnight, Ichigo."

"Goodnight. Sleep well, Byakuya."

Ichigo watched silently as Byakuya retreated into the dressing area, then he turned away, glancing in the direction of Suki and Torao's darknened rooms. He froze, staring, as he noted that the doors to Soujun's room had been left open, and soft light flickered within.

 _I never could go in there after Soujun disappeared. I just couldn't bear to. But, I wonder…_

He followed the walkway to the bedroom door, steeling himself, but feeling his emotions rise as he grew nearer. He closed his eyes as he reached the entrance, breathing in the soft scent of the candles that burned in the room.

 _I don't know if I can look._

 _I think I have to…_

Ichigo's heart pounded mercilessly and his throat tightened. Sweat broke out on his forehead as he made himself take the last few steps, then he very slowly opened his eyes. The scene that met him, instantly stole his breath away. On one side of the room, Soujun's bed was made, just as it always had been, with the bedding slightly loose and a few picture books and stuffed toys scattered about, making it look as though he had been there only moments before. His desk and dresser remained against the side wall, and on each were a few pictures from family events and excursions that Ichigo easily remembered were the boy's favorites. But the most lovely and gripping sight was the display on the wall in front of him, featuring a beautiful portrait of the five-year-old, smiling gently through a wild mane of black hair. Candles lit the framed portrait and the wall that also contained a number of mosaics and collages made from old pictures, a number of art projects the boy had made, interspersed with small messages that Suki, Torao and Byakuya appeared to have written and added.

"I miss catching frogs with you," Ichigo read softly, "I miss having tickle fights when we were supposed to be sleeping. I miss…"

His voice caught in his throat and his eyes filled to the brim with tears that spilled onto his cheeks and ran down his face as he continued to read.

"I loved when we would play with Arashi in the koi pond and get in trouble. I loved making mud castles at the lake with you."

Ichigo's chest heaved and tears continued to run freely down his face. He lowered himself onto his knees on a mat that had been placed in front of Soujun's picture, his body shaking with hard, silent sobs.

 _We had such a beautiful family, but it fell apart when Soujun disappeared…and I…I broke what was left when I walked away._

 _I don't know if we'll ever get any of that beauty back._

Ichigo sucked in a surprised breath as a warm body pressed up against his back and Byakuya's strong arms encircled him from behind. Little ends of his hair tickled Ichigo's cheek and Byakuya's deep, soothing voice seemed to enter through his ear and go straight to his shattered heart.

"This was part of our therapy," he explained, "We put some things in storage, and together we chose how best to honor him…who he was to us. We made this a place where we could go to speak to him, to tell him we missed him, to just feel close to him. It helped us to feel the reality of his absence, while also reminding us of all of the things we loved about him."

"It's incredible," Ichigo whispered, his hands closing over Byakuya's and holding on tightly as his tears continued to fall relentlessly.

"S-sorry," he apologized.

"For what?" Byakuya whispered, kissing his cheek and continuing to hold him, "You are heartbroken, _anata_. You never envisioned Soujun being gone for so long."

"N-no," Ichigo agreed, "I was sure that I would find him."

"We could still find him," Byakuya said, brushing his ex-husband's tears away and kissing him tenderly, "We will try together."

"I want to help too," Suki said suddenly.

Ichigo looked back over his shoulder in surprise and found Suki and Torao, dressed in their nightclothes and standing in the open doorway. Suki ran forward and wrapped her arms around Ichigo, while Torao remained where he was, but his eyes softened unexpectedly.

"I'll help too," he offered.

"Thank you," Ichigo sighed, closing his eyes and bowing his head, "I don't know what else to say. I'm so sorry I left you. I promise you, I won't ever leave you again!"

Ichigo felt Byakuya and Suki's arms tighten around him, holding him close. Then, Torao's hand touched his shoulder tentatively, making the last of his defenses break apart. He buried his face in Byakuya's shoulder and held on tightly as six years of anguish poured out in a flood of tears and broken sobs.


	7. The Light and Dark Side of Loving

**Chapter 7: The Light and Dark Side of Loving**

 **(OMFG! Power is out and my computer battery is about to die. Hope you enjoy the chapter!)**

Ichigo woke to stinging eyes and a pounding ache in his head. He groaned, shifting uncomfortably, then inhaled in surprise at finding Byakuya's warm body pressed up against his side and his ex-husband's cool fingers gently rubbing his temples, infusing the painful area with soothing reiatsu. He kissed the side of Ichigo's neck comfortingly and nuzzled his cheek.

"H-hey," Ichigo whispered sleepily, "I thought that there wasn't going to be any, what do you call it… _nocturnal cuddling_?"

"I was not cuddling with you," Byakuya corrected him, "I was comforting you. There is a difference, although, if you wish for me to leave…"

"N-no!" Ichigo said hastily, shifting to prevent his lovely partner from escaping.

He winced as fresh pain radiated in his head.

"Ow!"

"Relax," Byakuya chided him, continuing to soothe his head, face and the back of his neck until the pain began to subside.

"Okay," Ichigo sighed, closing his eyes again, "No problem."

He breathed in Byakuya's warm, sweet scent, moaning softly as Byakuya's touches slowly erased the pain he had awakened to.

"Oh…thanks," he whispered, turning to face Byakuya, then smiling and offering him a little nip on the lips, "That's a lot better."

"It is a crime to wake to such discomfort after already suffering from emotional extremes," Byakuya commented, "I was not planning to stay all night with you, but you were crying even in your sleep."

Ichigo blushed.

"I was a pretty big mess," he said sheepishly, "Thanks for staying with me."

"It was no…"

Byakuya broke off suddenly, his already pale face going white and a discomfited look overtaking his handsome features.

"Hey, are you…?"

Before Ichigo could finish, Byakuya was out of the bed and flash stepping into the bathroom, where he fell on his knees, retching.

"Whoa!" Ichigo chuckled, shaking his head, "I thought I was bad this morning. You all right?"

"F-fine," Byakuya assured him, holding a hand to his stomach as he heaved again, "Just…ah nauseous."

"You want me to get Michio?" Ichigo offered, "Or do you want to duck back into your own room so he doesn't know we spent the night together?"

"Ugh," Byakuya panted, wiping a hand over his sweating forehead, "I do not think I can…"

"All right. I'll go get him."

Ichigo bent and kissed him on the top of the head, giving him a sympathetic look as he bent forward and threw up again.

"Damn, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were pregnant again," he commented.

Byakuya sat back, working to catch his breath.

"I do not feel feverish," he decided.

Ichigo placed his hands on Byakuya's face, then felt the sides of his throat.

"Not to me either," he said, a smile sneaking onto his lips.

"Why are you smiling?" Byakuya chided him, as Ichigo rubbed his agitated partner's stomach gently, "We are nowhere near ready for something like that, Ichigo!"

"I know," Ichigo agreed, "It's kind of ironic, if that's what this is. We tried so hard before, when we were ready for another. You took it especially hard when we couldn't."

"That may not be what this is," Byakuya posited, "It may just be related to my injury. Perhaps I should send Urahara Kisuke a hell butterfly, asking if he can visit today instead of tomorrow."

"That's probably a good idea," Ichigo said approvingly, "But let's also get Michio to look at you right now. At least he can make you comfortable until Kisuke can get here."

"Y-yes," Byakuya managed, his voice shaking slightly.

He felt a sharp twinge beginning in his chest and closed his eyes, paling further.

"Will you please bring Michio now?" he requested.

"Yeah, sure," Ichigo answered, hesitating as he looked from Byakuya to the bathroom door.

"Go on," Byakuya urged him, "Please, Ichigo. I do not feel well at all."

"I'm worried about leaving you," Ichigo argued, "Where's that attendant you assigned to me? Torio and Toshi's boy, Takeo?"

"I told him to go to bed, as I would be caring for you," Byakuya explained, "And Torio is next to my room. I did not tell him where I would be last night. I was attempting to be discreet."

"Well, now you see why that's not always the best idea, ne?" Ichigo teased gently.

"Ichigo!"

"All right, I'm going to get the healer. Hang in there. I'll be right back."

Byakuya nodded, then flinched and inhaled sharply as the pain in his chest increased gradually, until a sound of pain escaped from between his tightened lips. Dizziness washed over him, making his head swim and causing the room around him to tilt warningly.

"Ichigo…" he whispered weakly, leaning against the wall.

He heard his former husband's returning footsteps and tried to remain somewhat upright, but his vision darkened and he slid slowly to the floor, losing consciousness completely. Ichigo came through the bathroom door, accompanying the healer as Byakuya collapsed.

"Byakuya!" he cried, running forward as the healer hurried to join him.

Ichigo lifted the unconscious noble and carried him to the bed, where he laid him down carefully, turning him over to the aged healer's care. Michio examined him carefully as Ichigo looked on through worried eyes.

"Is he gonna be okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Byakuya-sama's reiatsu is fluctuating," the healer observed, "but his vital signs appear to be stabilizing. Now, you say that he was complaining of…"

"Nausea," Ichigo answered quickly, "And he threw up a few times. Then, he said he was still not feeling well and sent me to find you. I don't know why he passed out."

"Well, my boy, I will do my best to give you some answers. But first, I must ask you, do you know if Byakuya-sama has been intimate with anyone within say, the past month?"

Ichigo blushed brightly.

"Ah, yeah," he answered hesitantly, "But look, no one's supposed to know, so…"

"I understand," Michio assured him, "I am only asking so that I can offer Byakuya-sama the best possible care. I will not share anything you tell me."

Ichigo nodded.

"We were _together_ once."

Michio leaned over Byakuya and opened his yukata, then touched searching fingers to his abdomen. He closed his eyes, focusing on the area and sensing the reiatsu beneath his hands. His own reiatsu brushed lightly upon each of Byakuya's spirit centers, then slowly withdrew.

"Well?" Ichigo inquired nervously.

Michio smiled encouragingly.

"I admit I am concerned about the odd fluctuations in Byakuya-sama's reiatsu," he explained, "but I was able to sense the presence of a spirit chamber and a viable reiatsu maturing within it."

"Byakuya is pregnant?" Ichigo asked, a helpless smile overtaking his face, "He's really gonna have another baby?"

"Yes," the old healer confirmed.

"But…before," Ichigo remembered, "When we were trying before, he had so much trouble and never got pregnant, even though we really tried."

"It seems that whatever might have been interfering with him conceiving has resolved itself. Byakuya-sama is with child, and the reiatsu of the child seems to be perfectly healthy. I will need to confer with Urahara Kisuke about the reiatsu instability I sensed."

"You don't think it's dangerous, like what went on when Byakuya had the twins, do you?" Ichigo asked anxiously, "He's not going to lose his powers again, is he?"

"Oh, no, it isn't like that was, my boy," Michio assured him, "I checked his spirit centers and spirit core. They are all functioning as expected. This is a variation of reiatsu that is held in the body. I don't think it is dangerous, but I will have Urahara-san examine him to be sure."

"We're gonna have a baby!" Ichigo mused, leaning over Byakuya and patting his face gently, "Byakuya, wake up. You've gotta hear this, okay?"

Byakuya stirred and took a deeper breath. His eyes opened and blinked, slowly focusing on the two. He made a sound of surprise at finding himself in the bed and started to speak, but stopped again as Ichigo helped him sit up, then hugged him tightly.

"What is happening?" he asked in a confused tone, "Ichigo…?"

"It's the most amazing thing!" Ichigo exclaimed, pulling away slightly and smiling widely, "Byakuya, what we thought before…it's true. We're gonna have a baby!"

Byakuya felt his throat tighten and his heart raced in reaction, causing twinges of pain in his chest and a return of the dizziness he had felt earlier. Ichigo's smile faded and he gazed in surprise at the look on Byakuya's too pale face.

"Byakuya, did you hear what I said? I told you that we're going to have a baby," Ichigo repeated, "Why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong? This is good news…isn't it?"

Byakuya's eyes met Michio's for a moment.

"Michio, will you please send a hell butterfly to Urahara Kisuke, detailing what you found and asking him about his availability to come today?"

"Of course, Byakuya-sama," the healer said, bowing, then stepping out of the room.

Ichigo's face registered confusion as he read the lingering distress in Byakuya's expression. His eyes softened and took on a shadow of worry. He took his ex-husband's hands in his, caressing Byakuya's uncharacteristically cold fingers gently.

"Byakuya," he said reassuringly, "I know it's a shock. I know that I hurt you before and that we have a long way to go yet in our reconciliation, but…we did want another child before. This…the way you're looking at me, how you're acting. Does it mean that you don't want to have another child with me?"

Byakuya let out a distressed breath.

"No," he managed, looking down at their joined hands, "Ichigo, it is just that…I am not…I was not ready for this. We are reconciling, but we are nowhere near ready to be married and having another child."

Ichigo gave him a crestfallen look.

"Byakuya, you don't want this baby? Is that what you're telling me?" he asked.

"N-no," Byakuya answered in a flustered voice, "that is not it. Ichigo, I am, of course, happy that I am able to conceive. I…if this had happened later, once we had time to resolve our differences. But now, like this…I am just…"

He paused, struggling for words. Ichigo's eyes registered a deeper shock of realization.

"You really don't want this, do you?" he asked more softly.

Byakuya looked back at him, unable to form an answer.

"You don't want this," Ichigo repeated in a devastated whisper.

A long moment of silence opened up between the two. Ichigo looked down at their still joined hands, his throat too tight for him to speak and tears threatening. He struggled to find his voice, his aching mind reeling as Byakuya took slow breaths, gradually calming himself.

"What are we gonna do?" Ichigo managed finally, "Byakuya, are you saying that you want to…?"

"No!" Byakuya exclaimed softly, "I would never do that. You know how I feel about children, Ichigo. I would never punish a child for something that resulted from my own foolishness."

Ichigo gave him a hurt look.

"It was foolish for us to make love when you know we still love each other?" he objected.

"It was foolish of me to be impulsive and to seek comfort with you out of fear and desperation because I had been injured!" Byakuya insisted, "Ichigo, you did not make love to me with the intent of returning to me. I never asked you to do that, and you were clear that it was not what you had in mind either!"

"But things are different now," Ichigo argued, "We're…trying again. We're starting over, aren't we, Byakuya?"

"Yes. Which means that we should move slowly and take our steps carefully, not rush ahead and forget so easily the reasons why our first marriage failed!"

"So, what are you saying? What do you want to do? You said you don't want to end the pregnancy. That means…?"

"I do not know," Byakuya answered softly, "I will have the child. Beyond that, I do not know."

"W-well, do you think we'll be expected to get married?" Ichigo asked, "Is that why you're so worried? You don't want to get remarried yet?"

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"Ichigo, you remember that when you left me, you admitted to the elders that you were choosing to abandon our marriage, due to irreconcilable differences."

"Yeah, it was the quickest way to have it approved by both clans," Ichigo remembered, "Everyone involved agreed that was best."

"It was," Byakuya affirmed, "assuming that we were not going to reconcile. Because you abandoned our marriage, there will be no expectation for me to marry you."

"But, you explained to me before that having a kid out of wedlock would dishonor you."

"It will, but after abandoning a marriage, you are required to petition my clan for an admission of misconduct and negotiate a settlement of some sort."

"I don't get it? An admission of misconduct? Petitions and settlements? What the hell is all of that about? No one said it would be that much trouble for us to get back together!"

"The elders did not expect we would reconcile, as you were so adamant that we would not. Ichigo, when you left, you had every intention of staying out of my life. You barely spoke to me after."

"I was angry," Ichigo insisted, "I know now that it was wrong. I am really sorry that I ever put all of that blame on you. I'm sorry I left you. And I'm willing to go to the elders and tell them that."

"And they might have been more receptive…if…if I had not been dishonored by becoming pregnant out of wedlock."

"They're going to be pissed because we made another kid together?" Ichigo mused, "And we want to be together to raise our kids? I don't understand this at all, Byakuya. Why is me wanting to do the right thing some kind of problem?"

He read the look of anguish on Byakuya's face and his own expression softened. He squeezed Byakuya's hands and met his eyes squarely.

"Listen to me," he said firmly, "I know I messed up and I will admit it to all of them, my elders, yours, anyone who needs to know. I will…do whatever I have to so that our family can be together. That's all I want, Byakuya. Are you telling me that isn't what you want also?"

"No," Byakuya assured him, "I want that very much also."

"Then, why are you like this?" Ichigo asked, frowning, "I don't understand why you look so miserable. I know it's sudden, but it's going to be a good thing. I promise."

"And if you decide to leave me again?" Byakuya asked, lowering his eyes.

"I told you I'm not going to do that," Ichigo insisted, "I know you have plenty of reasons to doubt. I blew it and I admit that. But, I am going to prove to you that I mean it when I say that I love you and I am staying with you and our kids. I just…need you to give me the chance to do that, Byakuya. Can you?"

"I want to," Byakuya whispered, closing his eyes, "And…as you are willing to try, I am going to as well. Just understand that this is difficult for me, and it is likely to be more difficult for you than you think."

"What are you talking about?" Ichigo chided him affectionately, "I'm going to crush whatever doubts that you and any of the rest of them have, Byakuya. I lost you once, because I was an idiot and pushed you away. That is never going to happen again. I'm not losing you again!"

Ichigo's face registered relief as the tension in Byakuya's body eased and his face began to regain its normal coloring. He sank into Ichigo's arms, resting his head on the ginger-haired man's shoulder.

"I am not going to lose you again either," he resolved.

 _He seems determined to make this work. But…we were determined before. We were in love before. I wonder if that is enough. I do not know if it is._

 _I want it to be._


	8. Beneath the Mask

**Chapter 8: Beneath the Mask**

 **(Whew, what a week it's been. Suffered a sudden computer mishap when my laptop got away from me and tumbled down a flight of stairs. I wasn't in any danger, but it sure made a horrible mess and brought about a weeklong search and wait while I found a new one and installed everything. Luckily, I keep updated copies of everything on my external hard drive or this could have been a real disaster. Anyway, I am up and running again, and will have more updates for everyone waiting. Take care and enjoy the new chapter. Love to all, Spunky.)**

Byakuya rested against a pile of soft pillows in his bed, his dark eyes looking out into lovely, tranquil gardens that were decidedly opposite of the state his heart was in. He felt that critical organ racing uncomfortably again and adjusted his breathing to help slow it.

 _It is hard to know the difference sometimes between a heart under stress and simple anxiety. Although…anxiety is never simple. It is easy enough to tell myself that nothing is wrong or that I should not let myself worry. It is another thing entirely when my body exhibits signs of panic when there is nothing overt wrong at all._

 _I had the first of these panic attacks after Ichigo left. I was struggling to manage my emotions about losing our son and about Ichigo leaving. I was contending with Suki's nightmares and the blame that Torao placed on me for Ichigo leaving. I have never been one to be ruled by emotion, but even when things were somewhat quiet, my body would sometimes panic. It was humiliating to admit that I could not control my own body. I hated myself for my weakness._

 _I do not often think very kindly of Yukihana…or rather, Shihoin Hinata, but when my panic attacks began to affect my ability to cope, he was the only therapist able to have a positive effect on my depression and anxiety. His methods are somewhat unconventional, however, amidst the ruins of my marriage to Ichigo, he was a comfort._

"Ah," Hinata's amused sounding voice said from the doorway, "you are looking rather blue today, my brooding beauty. But then, I heard a silly rumor that you had let that brutish ginger-haired cyclone back into your pretty manor."

He paused and looked around the room curiously.

"Was I mistaken?"

Hinata noticed suddenly that Byakuya had not responded at all to his gentle teasing, but had fastened his eyes on the tiny infant that he held.

"Oh, you haven't met Crevan yet, have you?" he chuckled, moving to Byakuya's bedside and offering the little blonde infant to him.

Byakuya accepted the baby into his arms and gazed down at him quietly, breathing in his soft, sweet scent and instantly taken back in time.

 _Ichigo moved forward and closed his eyes as he placed his hand on the doorknob. His heart pounding, he turned the handle and opened the door, then froze, staring. Byakuya sat on the bed with his back against a soft pile of pillows, and with Torao in his arms and feeding enthusiastically. Ichigo remained speechless for a moment as a deep feeling of affection blossomed in his inside._

 _"You look surprised," Byakuya said, keeping his eyes on Torao, "Kisuke didn't tell you?"_

 _Ichigo's lips curved upward._

 _"I think he wanted me to see and make my own conclusions."_

 _Byakuya paused, letting out a measured breath and coloring slightly._

 _"And?"_

 _Ichigo moved to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair next to it. He leaned wearily against Byakuya and kissed him on the cheek._

 _"I think you're amazing," he answered honestly, "I never know what to expect from you. You surprise me every day, Byakuya. I know things are pretty scary and uncomfortable now, but we're gonna be okay. If we can get through all that we have and we're still here, we'll be all right."_

 _"Is that what you really think, or are you just trying not to frighten me?" Byakuya asked, glancing at him, then looking down at the contentedly nursing baby._

 _"I'm not going to lie to you. I'm scared out of my wits and I feel like I have no control over anything here, but seeing you with him when I came in the door just made me stop and see it's not all scary. It's not all bad. There are good things happening too. We have each other. We have two beautiful, healthy babies. We're a family now."_

 _"But...for how long do we...?"_

 _Ichigo's fingers touched Byakuya's lips lightly, stopping him._

 _"We don't know how long, but who_ _ever_ _knows how long they have to enjoy the good things?"_

The little blonde baby squealed anxiously and reached in Hinata's direction.

"We gave him a Celtic name," the counselor explained, "It means fox, which in my sweet kitten, Satoshi's, family is a high compliment. Isn't it, little one?"

He tickled the baby under the chin, his golden eyes observing Byakuya closely. The Kuchiki leader kissed the baby on the top of his head, then handed him back to Hinata, who turned away for a moment.

"Torio-chan," he called out cheerfully.

"Hai, Hinata-san," Torio answered, peeking in through the doorway.

"Would you mind taking Crevan for a bit? I need to counsel Byakuya-san."

"Of course," Torio said, grinning as he accepted the baby into his arms, "I will take him for a walk in the gardens. We have some new koi in the pond."

"Thank you, dear."

Hinata glanced at Byakuya as the attendant left the room and found him to be looking quietly out into the gardens again, one hand resting lightly on his breast and a slight flush on his skin.

"Oh my. That ex of yours has you all in a flutter, doesn't he?" he deduced, "But then, he always did know how to upset you, didn't he?"

"Are you here to assist me or to simply aggravate me more?" Byakuya asked shortly.

"I am always here to help," Hinata chuckled, "Would you like me to calm you down a little first? A bit of healing massage?"

"That usually helps," Byakuya sighed, moving forward as Hinata slipped his shoes off and removed his cloak, then rolled up his sleeves.

He climbed onto the bed and took up a position behind the Kuchiki leader, pausing for a moment before beginning.

"With your permission, dear," he said in a professional tone.

"Proceed," Byakuya said quietly.

Byakuya felt an instant touch of relief as the counselor's reiatsu curled around him, making the world outside the two of them seem to disappear. Relief washed over him at feeling more distance between the troubled world he lived in, and this familiar, removed place that the counselor had granted him. Hinata's warm hands touched the sides of his face and the counselor's body pressed gently up against his back.

"Relax," he advised Byakuya, "Close your eyes. _Nemuri…_ "

As Hinata's power made everything around him fade into the distance, Byakuya centered on the still accelerated beating of his heart.

"Breathe with me, like we've done before," Hinata purred into his ear.

Byakuya moved slowly into the familiar set of breathing exercises as Hinata's fingers caressed his hair and made little circles on his temples. His head tipped back and came to rest on the counselor's shoulder as Hinata's capable hands moved on to massage the tense muscles of his slender neck and shoulders.

"Oh, you are a mess today, aren't you?" Hinata clucked disapprovingly, shaking his head, "What did that Shiba boy do to you this time?"

"He impregnated me," Byakuya said calmly, "again."

Hinata made a sound of surprise and sat back slightly.

"Well, that was sudden," he mused, "Is that why you let him back into your home?"

"No," Byakuya sighed as Hinata moved to sit in front of him on the bed, "I was following up on a lead that might be related to our son. I was attacked and badly injured, and Ichigo sensed it and came to assist in my healing. We…had a weak moment."

"I see," Hinata huffed, smirking and shaking his head, "You two."

"And although I was unable to conceive when we were in love and actually _wanted_ a child, we had no trouble at all conceiving now that it would bring nothing but chaos."

"Such are the vagaries of love," Hinata sighed, "But you say that you didn't know about the new little sprout until after you had convinced Ichigo to come back here with you?"

"I did not convince him. He just decided to come back with me."

"And you just let him?" Hinata asked, tilting his head questioningly, "Just like that, you let him waltz back in here? After the public humiliation and six years of torment he gave you? How unlike your more spirited self. What has that fool done to you?"

"I gave him a guest room."

"Did he use it?" Hinata asked skeptically.

"He did," Byakuya explained, "however, I did remain with him, as coming back here was difficult for him, especially when he visited Soujun's room."

"Hmm, I can see that would have gotten to even that usually oblivious little hothead," Hinata commented, taking Byakuya's hands, "But…and I ask this as it relates to your therapy, of course…did you sleep with him again?"

Byakuya colored slightly.

"No," he answered in a flustered tone, "although if he had risen out of his misery and only kissed me, I would have given in instantly."

Hinata gave him a look of genuine sympathy.

"You were certainly not the one who had trouble falling in love in the first place, but…you know, Byakuya, dear, he did eventually fall in love with you, very deeply in love."

"And for a while, we were happy," Byakuya said softly, looking down at his hands as Hinata caressed his fingertips, "I just do not know if, after watching him leave as he did, after having to stand in front of the gathering of our elders and listen to him say that he was abandoning me, due to irreconcilable differences, that I can trust Ichigo not to leave again if the circumstances of our life together become difficult. If I should lose this child, which, given my difficulty conceiving, is a possibility, I wonder if he would…"

"Shh, now stop right there," Hinata chided him, squeezing his hands, then moving around behind him again, "You said, yourself, that Ichigo did not return because of the child."

"He may have returned out of sympathy for me, because of my injury. He does tend to do things in a headlong manner."

"He does, doesn't he?" Hinata sighed, "Impetuous thing, isn't he? But he really has a lock on that surprisingly vulnerable heart of yours. No wonder your panic attacks came back. Despite how he broke it, you want very much to have him back in your life."

"Except that my heart has become more wary. I admit I am afraid he will leave me again. I do not usually give in to fear so easily."

"No, you are admirably brave."

"But I cannot even bear the thought of standing before the elders and arguing that they should support our renewed coupling after sitting silent and allowing Ichigo to vociferously deny that this would ever happen."

Hinata gave Byakuya a dubious look.

"I also think you have been humiliated enough," he huffed softly, "You know that I hear everything that goes on behind those fake smiles."

"I suppose the criticism was rather vicious when Ichigo left."

"I am afraid so," Hinata confessed, "They forget entirely that they basically forced you two together."

"They changed their minds when they learned that I am, in fact, a half blood."

"Ah yes. There were those still harping on that, although the majority just shook their heads as though it was to be expected that little fire breathing monster would abandon you, sooner or later. There was more surprise at how long it lasted."

"Are you really thinking that this is helping?" Byakuya asked dryly.

"Well, you did ask, love," Hinata chuckled, "But let's focus on you. Is the massage and breathing helping?"

"Some."

He reached around Byakuya's side and placed a hand on his breast, sending his reiatsu into the area and attending to it silently. Byakuya continued his slow breathing.

"Your heart has slowed down some and you aren't sweating anymore," the counselor noted, "but you are still unusually tense. I think we'll need to go in a bit deeper."

He positioned his hands on Byakuya's shoulders and pressed his fingers in more deeply until Byakuya's breath caught softly and he sighed in relief.

"That is definitely better," Hinata said approvingly, intensifying the motion of his hands.

He leaned forward, breathing his next few words into the Kuchiki leader's ear.

"Just let those nasty, internal voices fade away. Think about walking in your gardens…feeding your new koi…breathing in the sweet scent of…"

He broke off suddenly as Ichigo stepped in through the open garden doors, his eyes narrowing and his lips scowling. He glared at Hinata, who sat back slightly and cleared his throat disapprovingly.

"What the heck are you doing to him?" Ichigo demanded, "Last time I checked, you were married to Shihoin Satoshi. Why are you in bed with my…w-with Byakuya? You do know he's having my kid, don't you?"

"I am aware," the counselor said sternly, "And, I will have you know that I am here for Byakuya-chan's therapy."

"Therapy?" Ichigo objected, "You were holding him against you and breathing in his ear! What are you counseling him about? Seduction techniques?"

"Oh, I don't think Byakuya-chan needs any help there," he said, smirking, "He does, however, need assistance managing the crushing weight of carrying a big, bright, shiny torch for you, no matter how much water you throw on it every chance you get. You know, I just worked out the last of the kinks in those slim shoulders of his and here you are, piling on more weight. Shame on you! Do you have a single empathetic bone in that tall, gangly body of yours?"

"Just shut up and get out," Ichigo said shortly, "If Byakuya is tense, then we'll talk about it. We'll work it out. He doesn't need you, filling his head with nonsense!"

"And what kind of nonsense would that be?" Hinata asked sarcastically, "Would you like to know what I've been whispering into your former flame's ear?"

"There is such a thing as medical privacy," Byakuya said stiffly, "Hinata, if you will please leave us. Thank you. I will contact you later to discuss our next meeting."

"Of course, my little cherry blossom," Hinata said affectionately, "You know where to find me."

Ichigo gritted his teeth and let out a heated breath as Hinata flash stepped away.

"Man, that guy is annoying!" he fumed, "Why the heck do you see him anyway? Because I know you aren't getting sexual therapy."

"No," Byakuya said in a clipped tone, "I have been seeing Shihoin Hinata because of stress, both from our breakup as well as the fallout within the family and the Noble's General Council. Add to that, caring for two children who lost their brother and bearing my own emotions about that loss, I found that he was the only therapist that seemed to have a positive effect."

"What? Because he insults me with every other breath?" Ichigo huffed angrily.

"Well, you are quite antagonistic with him," Byakuya commented.

"I came in here and he was all snuggled up to you and breathing hot air on your neck. You know, you're still blushing! You know exactly what he was doing."

"And what was that?" Byakuya countered, "The man was offering me deep massage to relieve tension. He _had_ to get close to me to be able to do that. And if he was speaking into my ear, it was to soothe me. It was working quite well, until you misread the situation and overreacted."

"I'm overreacting about seeing you getting cozy with another guy?" Ichigo complained.

"Hinata is married to someone else. But even if he was not, I do not think you have the right to dictate who I see, when you and I are far from committed to a functional relationship."

"What the…? We're having a baby! You don't call that committed?" Ichigo shouted.

"We do not have to renew our relationship to co-parent a child!" Byakuya argued, "And if we are going to be together, then our connection should be strong enough so that you _trust me_ when I tell you I have no interest in Hinata, nor does he have an interest in me. I have not so much as looked in another man or woman's direction with that sort of intent since we divorced."

"Like I could do that either!" Ichigo snapped, "I wasn't going to do something like that, knowing that my soul mate would sense it in a second. I really wasn't out to hurt you any more than I had to!"

"I am sorry that our bonding was such a burden to you," Byakuya said bitterly, tears forming in the corners of his dark eyes, "If you will remember, it was a matter of fate, not choice!"

"Yeah, I guess fate thought we'd be better off being alone."

"It was not fate who decided that, Ichigo. It was you," Byakuya accused him.

Ichigo stiffened and started to offer a scathing reply, but before the words could escape, he bit them back forcibly. He took a steadying breath and met Byakuya's eyes squarely.

"Yeah," he said gruffly, "Okay, fine. I did. I said that I was wrong and I apologized for that. I thought that we were trying to get back together. Are you saying now that isn't what you want? What about the baby?"

"A baby!" Suki's voice exclaimed from outside the garden doors, startling the two men within, "Y-you're having a baby?"

"What are you doing, listening in on our conversation?" Ichigo scolded the girl, "Suki…"

"I _knew_ there was something that _made_ you come back," Torao added, revealing where he stood beside his sister.

"I didn't come back because of the baby," Ichigo said sternly, "Byakuya and I just barely realized that he is going to have the baby."

He took a steadying breath and met Byakuya's eyes warily.

"I came back because I want us to be a family again."

"What if you decide to leave again?" Torao asked, his eyes clouding.

"I won't," Ichigo promised, holding Byakuya's gaze steadily, "It was a mistake for me to leave in the first place. I love Byakuya and I never should have left. I made a mistake. I'm just lucky Byakuya has agreed to give us another chance."

Byakuya held back speaking, but nodded briefly.

"Now, I want you two to go wash up and get ready for dinner. Tell Matsuko-san that Byakuya and I will be having our dinner in here. You two will have dinner with Tetsuya and Renji…and there will be no more eavesdropping!" Ichigo said firmly, "Go on."

He shook his head and let out a resigned breath as the two children turned and ran towards the bathing chamber.

"Sorry, Byakuya," he apologized sincerely, "I didn't tell them about the baby while we were training. I figured you and I would tell them together."

"It seems we did that," Byakuya sighed, "So, the die is cast."

Ichigo bit at his lip in frustration.

"Look, if you're telling me you feel trapped and that this isn't what you want, then…we've got a problem," Ichigo acknowledged, "Is that it, then? You feel trapped? You want out?"

Byakuya looked back at him with a troubled expression.

"I want to reconcile as much as you do, Ichigo. I just…"

He stiffened as he heard Kisuke's voice sound, out in the gardens. Ichigo spotted immediately the shiver that went through Byakuya's body and the edge of fear in his dark grey eyes. A little shaft of uncertainty registered deep in his chest.

"Byakuya," he said worriedly, "what's really going on here? You think there's something more going on than just a pregnancy, don't you?"

Byakuya sighed and gave in easily as Ichigo sat down beside him and hugged him tightly.

"I told you about the pains I was having," Byakuya reminded him.

"Yeah," Ichigo acknowledged, "Are you saying they're not getting any better?"

"No, they are getting worse," Byakuya admitted, "Ichigo, I…"

"Hey," Ichigo said, stopping him with a stronger hug and a long, comforting kiss, "It's going to be okay. You're going to be fine. We're going to work things out and we'll be a family again. And this baby is going to grow up knowing that there is nothing now that can separate us again. Please trust me, Byakuya. The hard stuff is over. We've been through the worst. It only gets better from here."

Byakuya couldn't find the words to answer, but he held Ichigo tightly, nodding into his shoulder as Kisuke's footsteps approached the room.

"Hiya," the shopkeeper greeted them, surprising the two as he entered the room with Tama at his side.

Byakuya let out a relieved breath and relaxed slightly as he spotted his father.

"I am sorry to have disrupted your anniversary," Byakuya apologized.

"It's okay," Kisuke assured him, "We'll get back to it."

"We just want to make sure you are all right before we attend to that," Tama added.

"So, what's going on, Byakuya-san?" Kisuke asked, "Are you still having those pains in the area where you were injured?"

"Yes," Byakuya admitted, "and what concerns me is that, not only are they not getting better, they are growing worse."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" Kisuke said, moving forward and waiting as Byakuya laid down.

The shopkeeper quickly checked Byakuya's vital signs and drew samples of his blood and reiatsu.

"I should tell you that I am with child," Byakuya quietly informed him.

Tama broke into a pleased smile.

"Congratulations, _segare_. This is good news, ne?"

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, "We're real happy about it, even though it happened pretty suddenly. Byakuya and I were reconciling anyway, but now this makes things even better."

"I'm glad to hear you're working things out," Kisuke said approvingly, "and incidentally, it could be the early changes of the pregnancy causing some problems, here, but we'll get that all sorted out. I will take a quick scan of your heart and we'll let you two get to the fabulous dinner we smelled on the way in."

"You are welcome to join us for dinner if you wish," Byakuya invited him.

"Thank you," Tama said, smiling and glancing at Kisuke.

"I'm in," Kisuke chuckled, leaning over Byakuya and carefully scanning the Kuchiki leader's heart.

He took a number of readings and several images, then sat back, his eyes thoughtful.

"Well?" Ichigo asked anxiously.

"I didn't see anything shocking," Kisuke assured them, "but I can't give a definitive answer until I look more closely at the scans and do a comparative analysis with the scans I did after the initial injury. I will get that done and get back to you asap, all right?"

"But you supposed to be enjoying your anniversary," Byakuya objected.

"We will get to that, _segare_ ," Tama said, squeezing Byakuya's hand, "Family comes first. As soon as all is well with you, we will celebrate to our heart's content. I promise."

"Thank you," Byakuya said gratefully.

"And we'll have a lot to celebrate," Kisuke said cheerfully.

Byakuya and Ichigo exchanged curious glances and looked back at the other two men.

"Cause," Kisuke continued, "Tama's going to have a baby too."


	9. Ties of Family

**Chapter 9: Ties of Family**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

 **(Thanks going out to Jaundrie (So glad you liked it! And my day is going great so far. Heading home from a pleasant, end of summer vacation, so there's plenty of time for writing.), Ashesofthefirststar (Ichigo is very impulsive, and he still has growing up to do. He is about to learn what form that will take. There is fallout with the Kuchiki elders, Byakuya and the children. Plus, there will be some developments soon with Soujun that will also require a lot of both Byakuya and him. One of the most profound issues for this couple is Ichigo's youth and brashness. He has grown up some, but there is yet some marturing he needs to do.), Yukino76 (You are quite welcome!), AdalieDelacroix (Oh yes, Ichigo will be a bit shell-shocked when he faces the Kuchiki elders. They have something special in store for him…), Sariwa (Good eye! Indeed, only high noble males are supposed to have that breeder ability, and Tama did not have that ability in the first volume. Kisuke will explain that in the first part of this chapter. Ichigo will get a few figurative slaps to turn him around. He is beginning now to realize just what a mess he made, and he will need to take responsibility for that.), Tiffany91 (*sighs* Ichigo has never been very fond of Hinata, and seeing him touching Byakuya like that made him react impulsively. But you are spot on that Ichigo has some nerve to act possessive of a man he publicly dumped, even if six years have passed. Reconciliation or not, Ichigo needs to show more restraint, something that doesn't come easily because of his fiery nature. Byakuya loves Ichigo's tenacious spirit, but he certainly does not appreciate the burn he gets when his strawberry reacts so impulsively to things…although, Hinata has a special gift for inciting Ichigo's wrath, doesn't he? *winks*), Hisuiryuu (Yes, Bya and Tama will have some sweet and touching interactions as they prepare to have their babies.** **Tama will certainly want to paint them together with round bellies!), Picklez80 (Sure thing! Here you go!), Winterheart2000 (Wish granted!), PrivateCalleer (Oh, there will be some cuddling…as soon as Ichigo has faced the council. He'll need a hug after that! Lol), ShariBerry89 (Aww, so glad you like it!), Aizenfan6969 (Things will definitely change for the better. Ichigo knows he really blew it and he's going to make sure he doesn't hurt Byakuya again.), Tmp3475 (Yes, Ichigo has never fully faced his emotions about the loss of his son. He never really accepted that Soujun was gone. That led to some really destructive behavior that he is making amends for now.), Kisuke Byakuya (Those two do get into a lot of trouble!) and Siwon611 (Byakuya's strength is pretty amazing and Ichigo, too, will show that he is able to be strong for his family as things go into even more crisis…)**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

"Tama's going to have a baby too," Kisuke announced proudly, squeezing his husband's hand.

The pensive look that had been clouding Byakuya's grey eyes lifted away and he smiled warmly up at his father. Ichigo gave the elder couple a confused look.

"I thought that the reason Byakuya and I could have babies is because we're high noble borns," he remembered, "Tama is a commoner, isn't he?"

"I am," Tama agreed, "but you, of all people, should know that when Urahara Kisuke is presented with a mental challenge, he always has an answer."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, smiling, "usually more than one. So, he found a way for non-noble guys to have babies too?"

Kisuke shrugged enigmatically.

"It took some jiggering and a little bit of under the table science, but yeah. I guess it was all of the stories Tama was telling me about when his Soujun was carrying Byakuya. And I remember Byakuya, the way he was as a kid. Pretty cute and hard to figure out sometimes. Quite a challenge. I suppose having done much of what I wanted to as a scientist, I wanted a new adventure."

"I remember how happy Soujun was," Tama reflected, "He tried to explain everything he experienced, but there were some things that just seemed to be beyond words. Although, he did say that making you, Byakuya, was comparable to me closing my eyes and painting blindly, only to open them and find a masterpiece beyond my dreams."

"My father said that?" Byakuya asked, unable to withhold a heartfelt smile.

"In exactly those words," Tama confirmed, "I wished back then that I could experience that kind of joy. I never expected to be given that chance."

"It's really great," Ichigo said sincerely, "Congratulations, both of you."

"Thank you Ichigo," Tama said, glancing at Kisuke, who squeezed his hand again and kissed him on the cheek.

"No problem," Ichigo chuckled, "But ah, if we have two guys carrying, I think we should probably get them some food."

He glanced at Byakuya.

"Do you want to join the kids and Tetsuya or the four of us eat in here?" he asked.

"I feel quite a bit better than I did before," Byakuya decided, "We should eat in the gardens with the others."

"I'll go and tell Matsuko-san," Ichigo offered, hurrying out the door.

Kisuke and Tama watched him leave, then Tama turned his attention to his son.

"Byakuya, I know you and Ichigo are reconciling, but you were rather quiet when we were talking about it. I don't mean to pry, but…are things going all right?"

Byakuya sighed.

"I suppose they are going as well as expected," he mused, "We are struggling some, but after our very public breakup, there was no way that this was going to be easy."

"You know that you are going to have to keep your stress level down while you are pregnant," Kisuke warned him, "Male gestation is always considered high risk and you've got relationship and some body stresses going on. We passed Hinata on the way in and he said that he was here counseling you. I suggest you continue with him so that you remain as relaxed and comfortable as possible."

"Of course, if Hinata is involved, it will mean that Ichigo will be anything but relaxed."

"Well, he's not having the baby," Kisuke laughed, "You are. You focus on the baby and I'll be sure that Ichigo knows not to push your buttons about Hinata."

"And who is going to tell the family elders and the Noble's General Council not to cause me undue stress?" Byakuya asked dryly, "I can imagine their response when word gets to them that Ichigo is living at Kuchiki Manor and that we are attempting to reconcile."

"You want me to give a medical report on your condition?" Kisuke offered.

Byakuya gave him a conflicted look.

"I do not relish the idea of facing them with that news, followed by the news of my pregnancy."

"Maybe we should get Hinata back in here," Kisuke said half-jokingly, "You're not doing a very good job of avoiding stress right now."

"It will be all right, _segare_ ," Tama assured Byakuya.

"Tama's right," Kisuke said, nodding, "You and Ichigo have had a rough time, but he seems set on fixing things. Let Ichigo and me address the elders. You stay put and let your kids and attendants spoil you rotten."

"I suppose that is good advice," Byakuya agreed.

"Excuse me, Byakuya-sama," Torio said from the doorway, "but Matsuko-san said dinner is ready to be served in the gardens."

"Not a moment too soon!" Kisuke exclaimed cheerfully, "Let's go feed those babies. What do you say?"

He offered a hand to Tama, helping Byakuya's father to his feet as Torio assisted Byakuya, and the four left through the garden doors.

"Man, that smells delicious!" Kisuke said appreciatively, "You know, I think that Ichigo came back because he missed Matsuko's cooking."

"She does have a gift for learning the tastes of every person she serves," Byakuya said appreciatively, "and she has a special affection for Ichigo."

"Everyone loves a troublemaker," laughed Kisuke.

"That must be why Renji is another of her favorites," Byakuya added.

"Good one, Byakuya," the shopkeeper chuckled, as the group reached the table and found the others already seated.

Tama sat down with Kisuke on one end of the table, while Byakuya joined Ichigo on the other end. Suki and Torao occupied one side of the table, while Tetsuya and Renji sat across from them. Ichigo smiled and stood to pull out Byakuya's chair, then sat down again beside him.

"You look like you're feeling better," he commented.

"It is probably the prospect of eating soon," Byakuya suggested.

"Right," Ichigo said, looking amused, "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier too. You're right that I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"Hinata scolded you when you left the room," Byakuya surmised.

" _Big time,_ " Ichigo confessed, "But hey, I didn't even yell at him for it. I asked him to dinner."

"And I am sure that he had a winning reply to that," Byakuya said, barely holding back a smirk.

"He said that he had to get home to the family."

"That is not terribly objectionable," Byakuya mused.

"He also said that the _destruction of wildcats_ he and Satoshi have at home have more manners than I ever will and I am damned lucky you can't see past the stars in your very lovely eyes to realize how painfully I do not deserve the second chance you are giving me."

"Ouch!" Renji snickered, ducking as Ichigo swatted at him.

"Shut up!" Ichigo snapped irascibly, "At least he didn't make my boyfriend and me do what you and Tetsuya…"

Ichigo yelped as Byakuya stepped on his foot under the table. Tetsuya blushed brightly as he realized what Ichigo had been about to say, and Suki and Torao exchanged confused glances.

"Ow!"

"What's wrong, Daddy Ichigo?" Suki asked curiously, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, fine," Ichigo grunted, "Just ah, kicked something under the table. It's fine."

"I think some toasts are in order," Kisuke suggested, changing the subject, "To Byakuya and Tama, and the little bundles of joy to be…"

"Huh?" Torao said, blinking.

Suki's eyes widened.

"Grandpa Tama is having a baby too?" she exclaimed, dropping her chopsticks, "But that means we'll have a brother and a…an…"

"You will have an uncle," Tama said, smiling.

Torao gave him a perplexed look.

"But we're already twelve years old!" he objected, "That means we'll have an uncle who is just a baby!"

"It has been known to happen," Byakuya said calmly.

He paused, watching as Torao's expression saddened.

"What is it?" he asked in a concerned tone, "Is something wrong, Torao?"

"W-well, not really I guess," the boy confessed, "It's just I realized that you're going to have a little brother or sister."

Byakuya's breath caught sympathetically and he reached over to take his son's hand.

"Yes," he agreed, "I will have a little brother or sister."

He gazed silently as Torao sniffed softly, considering.

"What is wrong, child?" Byakuya asked patiently.

"Aren't you sad that you don't get to live together?" Torao asked, stealing a glance at his sister, "Sometimes I complain about Suki, but we do a lot of fun things together."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "you and Suki do enjoy many things together. And my younger sibling and I will make plenty of good memories together as well even if we do not live in the same home."

"You didn't have a brother or sister when you were little. Were you lonely when you were our age?" asked Suki.

"Sometimes," Byakuya confessed, "I did not have a chance to grow up with a sibling, but my father and I shared a number of adventures and experiences while I was young."

"It must have been lonely when he died, though," Torao said sadly, "I hate it when people die."

"I do also," Byakuya said gently, "And I was lonely. But my grandfather filled some of that space, and some time after, I freed Tetsuya from his imprisonment and he came to live here with me."

"And that was an adventure!" Tetsuya laughed, "I was completely hopeless. I had never lived in a family, or even in a house. I wasn't used to sleeping in a bed or taking baths."

"You must have been dirty all over!" Suki exclaimed.

"Oh, I was," Tetsuya admitted, "When my attendant, Koji, gave me my first hot bath, I didn't want it to end. Koji was very kind. He let me stay for a long time and never complained a bit."

"You must have turned into a prune!" laughed Suki.

"I did," Tetsuya chuckled, "Then, Byakuya-sama gave me a room with a very soft bed. But I had never slept in a bed before. So, I crawled onto the floor and fell asleep in the corner."

Suki giggled and Torao couldn't quite hold back an amused smile.

"I had a terrible nightmare," Tetsuya went on, and I accidentally broke the limiter I was wearing so that my powers, which I was not used to having yet, went out of control and froze up half of my room. I was so embarrassed and it got even worse when Koji tried to help and I nearly froze him by mistake too!"

"Tetsuya felt horrid that he had hurt someone who had been so kind to him," Byakuya added.

"I cried for hours."

"Like Suki does?" Torao said, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up!" Suki shouted.

"Oh," Tetsuya said, attracting the children's attention back to him, "I was much worse than Suki has ever been. The only one who could stop my tears was Byakuya-sama. He came to me and told me that it wasn't my fault that my powers went out of control. They were taken from me and held back unfairly, and they were meant to grow strong so that, like him, I could protect the king. He told me that strong powers were a gift and a responsibility and he was going to train me personally to use them the right way."

"Tetsuya and I trained every day after that," Byakuya said, giving his cousin an affectionate look, "I was exceptionally proud of him when he achieved bankai."

"So it was kind of like having a little brother," Torao concluded.

"It was," Byakuya agreed.

"And I can guarantee you that even though Byakuya-sama will not be living with his younger sibling, he will share a close kinship with them," Tetsuya said confidently.

The conversation at the table paused with the arrival of a hell butterfly that was marked with the sigil of the Kuchiki elders.

"Great," Ichigo sighed, "They know already?"

To his surprise, the butterfly paused in front of him.

"What?" he mused, frowning, "Shouldn't you be talking to Byakuya?"

"Shiba Ichigo," the aged Kuchiki Nori's voice said sternly, "word has reached our council that you have unexpectedly returned to Kuchiki Manor to attempt a reconciliation with our leader."

"Damn, do they have spies everywhere?" Ichigo complained, "Or did Hinata make a beeline over there to tell them?"

"Given your fervent discourse in front of us on the subject of the dissolution of your marriage to Byakuya, we are, of course, surprised at this development. We hereby summon you to our next evening council to express to us your intent in returning to the Kuchiki household and to provide assurance that our leader's reputation and dignity will be respected."

"Wait a second," Ichigo said, frowning, "They just want to talk to me? What about Byakuya?"

"I believe that they are attempting to shield me from more public embarrassment if they should choose to ask sensitive questions," Byakuya explained.

"Meaning that they think he's been through enough already," Renji translated.

"Thanks," Ichigo said dryly, "Shut up, Renji."

"Well," said Kisuke, "having grown up with Yoruichi's family, I've got a little knowledge about dealing with council inquiries. While Byakuya won't be going, it would be advisable to bring along someone who can support your suit to be allowed to court Byakuya again."

"What? You mean, my dad?" Ichigo objected, "No way! He's a disaster in council. The last time he spoke for me…"

Ichigo sucked in a guilt-ridden breath as he stopped himself, mid-sentence. Byakuya looked quietly down at his meal and continued to eat.

"Eh," Kisuke said, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck uncomfortably, "maybe you should just have someone else do the talking…if you don't want to be given an order of restraining. Why don't you let me go."

"You?" Ichigo queried.

"Yeah," Kisuke affirmed, "I can…explain to them how Byakuya's recent injury made you question your decision to leave. I can also express to them that it would be in Byakuya's best interests for you to be here. The kids too. Trust me. Let me speak for you, Ichigo. You can just affirm what I tell them."

"I think he is right," Byakuya agreed, "Seeing you showing respect and restraint will convince enough of them that you are serious about this to earn an approval…although, there may be conditions."

"Conditions?" Ichigo mused, "What kinda conditions?"

Byakuya shrugged.

"Whatever the council feels is necessary to protect my honor."

"Great," Ichigo sighed, lowering his eyes.

He was quiet for several long moments, then he surprised Byakuya by reaching over to take his hand.

"But…whatever I need to do so that we can be a family again," he decided, earning a little smile from Suki and a look of cautious approval from Torao, "I always tell you kids to take responsibility and clean up your messes. It's about time for me to clean up mine. Suki, Torao, Byakuya…it was bad enough when we lost Soujun, but I made it worse by leaving. Whatever my reasons, I shouldn't have left. If I was angry with Byakuya, I should have worked it out with him instead of running away."

"Because nothing gets solved that way," Suki said reprovingly.

"Yeah," Ichigo said, coloring, "I've told you and Torao that a million times. It's time for me to take my own advice. Losing Soujun was difficult for all of us, but I just made it harder on everyone by leaving. So, this time, I'm here to stay."

Byakuya gave him a tentative smile and squeezed his hand.

"I am glad to hear that," he said quietly, "and if you approach the elders with this amount of contrition and sincerity, I think that they will give their approval."

Kisuke chuckled and leaned over to whisper into Tama's ear.

"But, you know that even if he does that, they're bound to have some _conditions_."

"Best not to task Ichigo with that now," Tama whispered back, "One thing at a time."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Lukas?" Little B grunted, nudging the younger boy to wake him, "Hey, wake up!"

Lukas groaned and opened his eyes, wincing as he pushed himself up from where he had been sleeping on a mat in the corner of the cave that the boys had been living in.

"Wh-what is it?" Lukas yawned, sitting up and looking around, then blinking curiously, "Where is Lord Aric?"

"I was gonna ask you that," Little B said worriedly, "You didn't see him get up?"

"No, sorry," the servant boy apologized, cringing at the angry look about the other quincy youth.

Little B's frown deepened.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked sharply, "It's not your fault he wandered off. I'm not mad at you or anything. I'm just worried about him, okay?"

"S-sorry," Lukas said again, awkwardly, "It's just that…at the rebel camp, I was punished for things like that."

Little B scowled, then softened his expression as he noted the younger boy's unease with his show of temper. He reached over and ruffled the Lukas's tumbled hair, feeling a little twinge of sympathy as the other boy started to cringe, then held very still at his touch.

"It's okay," he said shortly, "But we should go and look for him. Just, be careful. We don't need you getting caught and having to be rescued."

Lukas's eyes widened.

"You would do that, Little B?" he asked in a surprised voice.

"Course I would," Little B answered flippantly.

He gave the younger boy a little smirk.

"Lord Aric would want me to," he snickered playfully.

"Oh," Lukas said, deflating slightly.

"Come on," Little B laughed, "I was just teasing you. I would save you if you got caught. You're not a servant anymore. You're our friend."

Lukas gave him an incredulous look.

"What? You've never had any friends?" Little B said, arching an eyebrow.

"No," Lukas answered, making the smirk disappear from Little B's lips, "Not for a really long time. Thank you, Little B."

"Let's go," Little B said stiffly, "Time to find our friend."

XXXXXXXXXX

Aric slipped through the shadows, making his way carefully, his sharp senses extended and focused carefully on strong presences he sensed in the area.

 _The entrance that emerges near Urahara Kisuke's shop is guarded. I have to be careful._

He watched from within a heavy growth of brush as a guard walked by, his sharp eyes following the man until he was far enough away to give him an opening to approach the crossing point. He silenced his breathing and crept to the entry point, dashing inside as the guard turned and started to walk back in his direction. He felt a moment of disorientation and hoped fervently that the returning guard was still too far off to sense his passage. To his relief, he sensed no sign of pursuit as he emerged into the living world and dropped onto the grass, just outside Urahara Kisuke's shop.

 _I have to find out who that man is. I wonder if he is still here._

Aric crept to the window through which he had last seen the injured shinigami. A disappointed sigh escaped him at seeing that the room had been vacated and cleaned.

 _He's gone._

 _He must have gone back to Soul Society. I should listen in to see if someone here mentions him._

He moved on silent feet, heading towards where he sensed several presences.

"GOTCHA!" a boy's voice shouted as a hand came down roughly on Aric's shoulder.

He turned in surprise to find a tall, red-haired boy glaring at him.

"You're not Ururu," the boy said, scowling, "Who _are_ you?"

"I am looking for a shinigami with dark hair that was injured and staying here within the last few days," Aric offered anxiously, "I need to find him."

"Huh," the boy huffed, "Wait a second. Are you a quincy?"

"I…I don't mean to cause trouble," Aric said, raising his hands and backing away.

"You'd better come inside right now," the redhead boy said sternly, reaching for him.

"No, stop!" Aric exclaimed, using his hirenyaku to escape.

"Hey, come back here!"

"What's all of the yelling, Jinta?" Ururu asked, peeking out one of the bedroom windows.

"This boy…" Jinta began.

"What boy?" his sister asked, looking around.

Jinta followed her gaze and, finding no sign of the quincy boy, he scowled.

"Nothing. Just forget it," he sighed.

"Tessai said to tell you to come inside. He wants everything ready when Kisuke-san gets back from helping take care of Byakuya-san at Kuchiki Manor."

Within the nearby bushes, Aric tensed.

 _Byakuya. That has to be him. I should go to Kuchiki Manor. But…we are not allowed to enter the Seireitei without royal permission._

 _Still…I can slip through. I had just best not get caught by the king's men or the shingamis. Either one would probably kill me. I will be careful. I just…need to be sure that what Heilgar did isn't going to hurt him. Those arrows were poisoned with my reiatsu._

 _I just need to know if my power…is going to kill him like it killed the others._


	10. Reckoning

**Chapter 10: Reckoning**

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 **(My thanks going out to Parnita (Ah, this chapter will be pretty exciting. I think you will enjoy the turbulence. I'm really looking forward to the next couple of chapters too. Lots of developments!), Engkantada1905 (Ah, sweet death! Don't worry, I torture myself too, writing this stuff. This chapter and the next pack a wallop. Enjoy!), Aizenfan6969 (Update granted!), PrivateCaller (Yes! I will have more soon. I am already working on the next chapter.), Kittykins (Absolutely!), Jaundrie (So glad you liked the chapter! Sorry you don't get more holidays. I go stir crazy if I don't have a break from work every so often. I'm lucky to be able to work part time.), Tiffany91 (I can't wait for Soujun's arrival in the Seireitei. I still have a couple of things to write before that happens, but he will arrive soon...), Adalie Delacroix (Ah yes! I haven't forgotten, I promise. My muse is just being ornery and hard to focus. I will try to get that out in the next day or two. :) Thanks so much for the enthusiasm about Fire in the Sky. I think it's going to be a great story. *kicks muse*), Siwon611 (Oh, they have plans...), Hisuiryuu (Glad you enjoyed that! Sweetness will intensify after some necessary conflict.), Yukino76 (I think Byakuya will be Ichigo's priority from now on, and they will have lots of support...some of it kind of funny!), and Tawan Lariviere (I can't wait to write that part! I've been planning it in my head for a long time!) Enjoy the new chapter! Hope those celebrating Labor have great BBQ! I am! Love to all, Spunky)**

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Ichigo stood with unusual patience, barely moving, even to breathe, as Toshi dressed him in a handsome, dark colored formal kimono then worked valiantly at taming the wild spikes of his bright ginger hair. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror, frowning unhappily.

 _I've always hated getting dressed up like this. From the minute that the Noble's General Council and the Shiba elders recommended and supported choosing me as heir, I felt like my fate was taken out of my hands. These clothes have always felt uncomfortable, both physically and because when I wear them, I can't be myself. This isn't me. This isn't the human boy who came to Soul Society to protect his friend. This is the person who saved Soul Society and then had to face the fact that he wasn't the person he thought he was. My folks lied to me all of my life. Neither my mom nor dad ever told me I was half quincy and half shinigami. I know they had their reasons, but by lying to me, they made it so the lie that I was as a human became my truth._

 _I wonder how different I would be if I had grown up being a noble._

 _I'm not like Byakuya. I wasn't chosen from birth to lead. I didn't choose to do it at all. It's a dressing put on me like this kimono. It doesn't feel real at all, but it's a truth I don't know how to handle. I don't know how Byakuya does this. Fancy clothing, strict rules for how you do everything. That's one reason why it felt so good while we were married, to have him with me. I could tell he knew exactly how it all felt. Because as much as Byakuya knows how everything works and looks perfectly at ease, inside, he's more like me than he is like them._

 _What was I thinking when I threw that away?_

 _Losing Soujun was the catalyst, but the truth is that I busted us up. It was like a part of me disappeared with our boy and I couldn't function except to try to get him back. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I felt like a part of me was dying, each day that he was gone. And while I was inside my head, suffering like that, I forgot that Byakuya and our other two kids were suffering too. It's not even that I wasn't there for them, I left them. Byakuya stayed with our kids. Even though he was hurting, he thought more of easing their pain._

 _I was so damned selfish._

 _I hate to admit that Hinata was right. I don't deserve the second chance that Byakuya is giving me. So, I am going to do whatever it takes to show him how much I love him for this._

"I am finished dressing you, Ichigo-sama," Toshi prompted him, bringing him out of his reverie.

"Oh…right, thanks Toshi," Ichigo said absently.

"Will you be needing anything else before you go, sir?" Toshi asked, smiling sympathetically.

"Naw, I'm good," Ichigo answered, taking a final glance at his reflection and sighing in resignation.

"Are you all right, Ichigo-sama?" Toshi persisted, "You look pretty distressed."

"I have to go and convince a roomful of old men that I deserve the right to be with Byakuya, after stomping in there before and insisting that I couldn't live with Byakuya," he said wearily, "Distressed doesn't begin to explain how I feel."

"Is there anything at all I can do to help?" asked the attendant.

Ichigo let out a long breath.

"C'mon, you were there, Toshi," he reminded his attendant, "You saw me go to pieces after we lost Soujun. You know better than anyone I don't deserve to walk back in here after humiliating Byakuya in front of the elders and leaving my family alone to handle Soujun's disappearance. And if you and I both know damned well I don't deserve to have Byakuya and the kids back, then how can I convince that bunch of old men that I do?"

Toshi smiled sadly and rested a hand on his arm.

"Just speak to them from the heart and you will convince them, Ichigo-sama."

"I think speaking from the heart is what got me into this mess," Ichigo said, shaking his head, "I don't know how it's gonna get me out again."

"You will be fine," the attendant assured him, "Just tell them the truth. You were devastated at losing your son and it clouded your judgment. I think that even those stuffy old men will be able to understand that."

"I hope you're right," Ichigo said somberly, "Thanks, Toshi."

"It is no problem, sir."

Ichigo left his guest room and walked out into the cool, sunlit gardens. He spotted Suki and Tora practicing their swordplay, while Renji seemed to be instructing Torao in gathering and controlling his reiatsu.

 _Talk about the blind leading the blind_ , Ichigo mused, chuckling softly, _Torao's another like Renji and me. We have powerful reiatsu, but we suck at control. Luckily for us, we've mostly been in situations where our sloppy reiatsu control didn't kill anyone we didn't mean for it to._

He paused for a moment, looking at the open doors to Byakuya's room. Taking a steadying breath, he turned and flash stepped away.

 _I wanted to go see him._

 _But it would have been leaning on Byakuya, when I haven't earned the right to do that. I have to go in there and do this on my own. And even if I win the council's approval, it's not the end of things. It's just the beginning. I have to earn back their trust…Byakuya's, Suki's and Torao's. It's gonna take a while to do that._

 _But I will._

 _I owe it to them…and to me._

He ran swiftly through the quiet streets as the sun continued to rise in front of him.

 _I have to be the husband and father that they needed all along. I'm finally able to do that. All that stands between me and doing that is this group of old men and women who have every right to doubt me. I think I doubt myself too._

 _I have to figure out how to convince them…_

But try as he might, the answers seemed to elude him like the fading fog of an early morning. Still, he knew there was no turning back, so he kept his feet moving until he arrived at the marble steps that led into the Kuchiki Council Hall. He took a steadying breath and ascended the steps more slowly, forcing his back to remain straight and his chin to stay lifted. He tried to calm his eyes the way Byakuya always did before addressing the elders. And by the time he reached the entrance to the main meeting chamber, his heart was decidedly less frantic.

 _I know what I have to do._

 _This is it._

"Ichigo."

The Shiba heir smiled in relief at Kisuke's arrival.

"I'm glad you're here," he said gratefully.

"I almost didn't get here in time," Kisuke sighed, "I was hoping that I'd have some information to give you and Byakuya about Byakuya's condition, but I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out what the heck is going on. I just ran several new tests and I'm hoping that the results of those will paint a clearer picture of what's happening."

"You look really worried," Ichigo noted, "Do you think it's something pretty bad? He might need to have more surgery?"

"I don't know what it is or what he'll need just yet. Sorry, Ichigo. I know it's hard waiting for answers."

"Well, I've got something else that will keep me distracted while I wait," Ichigo said, glancing at the chamber door.

"You know they're not going to go easy on you in there," Kisuke said solemnly.

"I'm sure that they won't," Ichigo agreed, "But it doesn't do any good to worry about it. I just have to go in there and…"

He paused, swallowing hard and closing his eyes for a moment.

"Kami, Kisuke, what _am_ I supposed to do to convince them? I mean, I know myself, that I really don't deserve a second chance. If I don't believe that I do, what chance do I have of convincing them?"

Kisuke gave him an encouraging smile.

"They said that you couldn't stop Rukia's execution or Aizen's sneaky plans or Ywach's rampage. You found a way to do all of that, and you'll find a way to do this too."

"I can't pull out my bankai and fight my way through this one," Ichigo said anxiously.

"No," Kisuke concurred, "but you can be honest with them and say that you made a very big mistake and you are willing to do whatever it takes to fix it. Just be sincere and show them that you understand their doubts. But above all, don't get angry, whatever they say. It's your temper that got you into this mess in the first place. You've got to show these guys that you've grown beyond losing it and just giving up."

"Right," Ichigo said half-heartedly, "Okay…"

He closed the distance to the meeting chamber doors and nodded in greeting to the guards, who opened the way for him. With Kisuke at his side, he passed through the doors.

A dark feeling seeped through his body as he spotted the Kuchiki elders seated in their places in a large semi-circle around the small podium from which he would be giving his argument. But more intimidating than the sight of the elders' stern faces was the presence of the Kuchiki leader, himself. Byakuya stood quietly at the podium with his back to Ichigo, his slender body beautifully dressed in a formal kimono and accessorized with both his kenseiken and the lovely familial windflower scarf he only wore now for special ceremonies. Tetsuya stood at Byakuya's left shoulder, wearing his house guard's uniform and ceremonially armed, while Torio waited at his right side. Byakuya remained still and silent as Ichigo approached, only meeting his eyes as he reached the podium.

"Byakuya?" Ichigo said tentatively, "I thought that…"

Byakuya gazed at him wordlessly as the head elder stood and addressed him.

"Shiba Ichigo," Kuchiki Nori greeted him sternly, "thank you for your prompt arrival. We will not delay, but will cut right to the heart of the matter. You stood before us six years ago and in a very direct and offensive manner, informed us that you wished to abandon your arranged marriage to our leader, due to irreconcilable differences. You claimed that Byakuya-sama's failure to support you properly in the search for your son amounted to a betrayal that you could not forgive, and evidenced a lack of commitment to the mutual sustaining goals of your marriage. We gather from your apparent return to Kuchiki Manor and your suit, given to us yesterday, it seems you have…second thoughts about this?"

Ichigo took a steadying breath and nodded.

"Yes," he answered in a solemn, respectful tone, "I…believe now…I mean, I _know_ now that the way I understood Byakuya's actions was wrong. I agree that when I stood before you last, I did very much believe what I was saying…"

"And if you were convinced such was true, but it was not that time, then why would you expect us to trust your feelings now?"

"A good question," Kisuke answered, touching Ichigo's arm lightly and receiving a nod of approval, "If I may, Nori-dono?"

Nori's solemn blue eyes met Ichigo's questioningly.

"Do you wish for this man to speak for you at this time?" he asked.

"Yes," Ichigo said approvingly, "Kisuke knows Byakuya and me very well, and I think he can speak to both why things went wrong between us and why it's important for us to reconcile now."

"And do you accept this man to speak on your behalf as well, Byakuya-sama?" Nori asked.

"I do," Byakuya replied calmly.

"Very well, then," Nori invited Kisuke, "Please give us your explanation."

"Thank you, Nori-dono, and the rest of the council as well," Kisuke said, smiling up at the elders genuinely, "I want to point out first, in answer to your quite appropriate question, that six years have passed since Kuchiki Soujun junior disappeared during a suspicious incident in the precipice world. And while six years is not a lot of time to you or to me, it is a great deal of time for an eighteen-year-old who was arranged into a marriage against his will. I don't think I have to remind you of Ichigo's reaction to the situation."

"You do not," Nori said dryly, "I believe we all remember that he was completely resistant at first."

"Yes," Kisuke agreed, "at first, Ichigo wanted nothing to do with marriage. In fact, he had never even had a romantic relationship and was on the young side for a human male being married."

"But he is also half-shinigami," Elder Arisu pointed out, arching an eyebrow, "His soul resides primarily here now."

"That's true," Kisuke answered easily, "But that wasn't his choice. And even though he did agree to live here after the end of the war so that he could serve the needs of his clan, Ichigo was, in his mind, still a human boy of eighteen. That's pretty young for such responsibility. I shouldn't have to remind you that if we look at human development, Ichigo's impetuous nature, his stubbornness and his reluctance to accept an arranged marriage are perfectly reasonable, considering his stage of development at the time."

"I think they get the point," Ichigo muttered under his breath.

"And," Kisuke went on, ignoring his comment, "although to you and me, twelve years is not a lot of time, remember that while Ichigo's soul still looks younger, his human body has aged to about thirty years old and he has matured quite a bit. These physical changes, as well as the challenges that Ichigo has faced in recovering from the loss of his and Byakuya's son, have made him wiser. He realizes, especially after Byakuya's recent injury that his connection to Byakuya isn't something that he can change. And it isn't even something that he wants to change."

"Kisuke is right," Ichigo added, "Even though I knew the facts about what a soul bond is, I didn't really understand it until I left Byakuya and felt how empty my life was without him. I was still seeing our children, but that only seemed to make me miss Byakuya more. And after a while, I started to realize that I was only holding back from going home to Byakuya and our family because I had been so insistent before that we really couldn't reconcile. I knew then that I had been wrong, but I didn't know how to fix it. Then, Byakuya was badly injured and I wasn't able to think about the embarrassment or consequences. I need to be with my family. They need me and I need them."

"I see," Nori answered, his tone neither approving nor disapproving, "but will you please inform us, was your decision to return affected, either by Byakuya-sama's decision to resume the search for Soujun junior in Hueco Mundo or because of your dalliance that led to the conception of the child Byakuya-sama now carries?"

Ichigo felt a flash of anger at the words, but he forced his emotions down and controlled his tone carefully as he answered.

"I was not aware that Byakuya believed that Soujun could be still alive and in Hueco Mundo. I mean, I knew that it was something that he knew _could be_ , but I didn't think he was convinced it really was. I'm not sure even now exactly what he believes, but that's not as important as the fact that he and I are in this together. We are both committed to reconciling. And to answer the second thing you said, I didn't even know that Byakuya was pregnant until after I had already returned to Kuchiki Manor. I am thrilled that we are having another baby, although I know Byakuya is conflicted because of the state of our relationship. Marrying us will give us steady ground to build on as we get ready for the arrival of our next baby. I fully intend to support Byakuya, both now, while he carries our child and after the baby is born."

Nori gave Ichigo a measured look.

"So, what you are really saying is that you will defy the will of the council if we decide against you?" he inquired archly.

"Yeah, you could say that," Ichigo answered truthfully, "The difference is that if this was before, I would be defying you out of anger and stubbornness. In this case, I would be defying you because I am completely committed to being a good husband and father. Look, I told you that I made a really bad mistake before. I had a lot of time to think about it and, like Kisuke said, I grew up some too. Byakuya and our children are all that matter to me. I just want to go back to them and be there for them like I should have been all along."

"And how do you feel about this, Byakuya-sama?" Nori asked, "Do you believe that Shiba Ichigo will follow through with what he says this time?"

"I cannot read the future," Byakuya replied honestly, "but I do believe both Ichigo and I want this to work. We are both fully committed to reconciling."

"And how do you feel about the child you are having?" Nori inquired.

Byakuya placed one hand on his abdomen and kept his eyes focused on the council in front of him.

"All of you know that I was deeply disappointed that I was not able to conceive a child after having Suki and Torao. Ichigo and I both wanted more children."

Ichigo felt a little inward twinge at the curious look that came into Nori's eyes at Byakuya's comment.

"And, pardon me for asking, but why did you not impregnate Ichigo, if more children was what you wanted?" he asked pointedly.

A surprised look touched Byakuya's fine features and he faltered for a moment, glancing at Ichigo apologetically.

"I didn't tolerate the pregnancy with Soujun very well," Ichigo explained.

"Were you overly ill?" Nori asked.

"No."

"Did you suffer any harmful effects during the pregnancy or after?"

"Not really, no."

"Then, what exactly do you mean you didn't tolerate it well?"

"I think what Ichigo's trying to say," Kisuke said, stepping in, "is that he was still on the young side and Byakuya enjoyed the experience more than he did."

"But he could have had children when he and Byakuya-sama purportedly wanted them, but Byakuya-sama was unable to become pregnant. Still, he decided he would rather end the possibility of having more children. Not that you are required to produce more children. I just…see an inequality in your relationship on this point and I want to clarify. Do you feel superior to Byakuya-sama?"

"No!" Ichigo exclaimed, earning a look of warning from both Byakuya and Kisuke.

He took a steadying breath before continuing.

"I was conflicted, but if Byakuya had asked me to bear a child, I would have agreed to do that."

Nori exchanged glances with the other members of the council, then met Ichigo's eyes in askance.

"And if we decide that a condition of earning our support would be that you will provide the family with at least one more child?" he inquired.

Ichigo swallowed hard.

"I'll have two," he answered stiffly.

A surprised smile touched the head elder's lips for a moment as he scanned the faces of the other elders again.

"We have actually discussed this matter in great detail before meeting with you. And we, as a group, agreed that if you approached us with proper respect and contrition, we would offer you the following agreement. I do warn you that these are the only conditions under which we will agree to marry you and Byakuya again."

"O-kay," Ichigo said warily.

"First, we will marry you at the end of this council meeting with no ceremony, and there will be no public ceremonial gathering. Instead, a council appointed elder will give an interview to news outlets that the two of you have reconciled, and that will be the only public statement made on the matter. This is to cause as little stir as possible."

"I can live with that," Ichigo said, "Byakuya?"

"I find it acceptable, as long as we may have a small private ceremony, which will not be announced publicly."

"Granted," Nori said easily, "Secondly, as you continue your reconciliation, you are to have competent guidance to mitigate any further disruptions. As he proved acceptably capable before and he is familiar to you, we have elected Shihoin Hinata to counsel you."

Ichigo's jaw clenched and he went silent for a moment, bristling. Byakuya cleared his throat softly, breaking through the tension and making him take a shaky breath.

"Fine," he managed, his hands clenching into fists and a flush roaring over his face.

"Third, reparations will be paid from your clan to ours in the form of one position on Central 46 and a raising of our status on the Noble's General Council, so that our clans will now both occupy the same status."

"I don't think our guy who gets kicked off of the Central 46 council is going to like that too much, but I don't really care much about politics, so it's fine as long as our leader agrees," Ichigo said shortly.

"Next, we will require a ceremonial show of your intent to see this through."

Ichigo frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking confused.

Nori turned an eye onto Tetsuya.

"Tetsuya, are you prepared to do battle with Shiba Ichigo?" he asked.

"I am," Tetsuya answered calmly.

"Whoa! Wait a second!" Ichigo objected, "You want me to hurt Tetsuya? No way! Tetsuya is my friend. I'm not going to beat him up, just to make a point."

"Neither of you will be permanently damaged," Nori assured him, "But understand that if you lose to Byakuya-sama's protector, we will withdraw our approval of your continued marriage to our leader."

"What?" Ichigo complained, "That's a little extreme, isn't it?"

"Actually, it's not so extreme," Kisuke whispered bracingly, "They could have required you to kill Byakuya's champion if they really didn't approve. You embarrassed them and humiliated their leader. Just shut up and agree to fight Tetsuya."

Ichigo sighed resignedly.

"Okay," he said contritely, "If you want me to fight Tetsuya to prove myself, I will."

"And finally, we expect that this binding is permanent. This council will never even accept a meeting to argue for its dissolution. If we marry you, it is for as long as you both live."

"Fine," Ichigo answered readily, "I agree."

Nori nodded.

"Very well."

He motioned to two guards, who summoned a shielded area that took up most of the rest of the huge meeting chamber.

"Shiba Ichigo, Abarai Tetsuya, enter the fighting chamber!"

"What? We're doing this here? Now?" Ichigo asked.

"Yes," Nori answered sternly, "And understand that this is your only chance, Shiba Ichigo. If you lose this battle, this council will refuse completely to consider your suit to marry our leader!"


	11. Trial of Five Cuts

**Chapter 11: Trial of Five Cuts**

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 **(Thanks to Jaundrie (It's important to do what you enjoy for a living since so much of our lives are devoted to our work. So glad you enjoyed the last chapter.), Parnita (Oh, the fight will hold some surprises...), Kisuke Byakuya (This chapter was harder because it took a long time to fully think through and choreograph. Fights are actually pretty mentally exhausting!), Yukino76 (One way or another, it will be their last marriage! lol), Wildwind13 (You are so right!), TehWonderer (Oh, there will be some babies!), Picklez80 (Ah, yes...), Tiffany91 (Part of the struggle for Byakuya and Ichigo was getting Ichigo to think things through and attend to the damage he was causing. This trial...well, you'll see!), Hisuiryuu (Yes! That was an error, making Tetsuya's surname still be Kuchiki. Tetsuya would gladly give up even the Kuchiki name to take the name of his most beloved. So, I have to go back and fix that. I think it's funny in the canon Bleach that Rukia keeps the Kuchiki name and it is not extended to Renji (as it was to Kouga in the filler arc!), Adalie Delacroix (Sorry for the continued delay on FAtS. I meant to have that done by the end of the week, but if RL didn't just giddyup and run away with me! It's almost done. Just another day or two.), and Ashesofthefirststar (You really pick up well on the facets, both of nobility and of the story I'm telling. Yes, Ichigo is stronger and the elders know that, so they have devised something that will yield unexpected results. There is more than just a fight going on. I think you will like this turn, although...it may be a little rough on our fighters!) Enjoy the new chapter! Love to all, Spunky)**

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Ichigo followed Tetsuya into the protected fighting area, and the two men turned back to face the watching elders. Nori nodded in approval.

"By the rules of the council, the two of you will engage in a gentlemanly duel. Our rules describe this as a _trial of five cuts_. During this trial, you are allowed to use reiatsu, kido, hakudo and your natural abilities to score cuts on your opponent's body. Due to safety constraints of this fighting chamber, there is to be no use of bankai. When five cuts have been made, then the duel will end."

Nori turned his solemn blue eyes onto Tetsuya.

"Abarai Tetsuya, do you understand the rules of the trial?" he asked.

"I do," Tetsuya answered calmly.

"Shiba Ichigo, do you understand the rules of the trial?"

"I do."

Nori inclined his head approvingly.

"Let the trial begin."

Ichigo turned to face Tetsuya, and the two bowed respectfully as they summoned their weapons to their hands. Tetsuya's sapphire eyes locked onto Ichigo's, revealing an unsettling mixture of riled emotions. Ichigo gave him an encouraging smile.

"Tetsuya," he said bracingly, "I don't want you to worry, okay? I made some pretty big mistakes. I hurt Byakuya and our kids, and I know that when I hurt Byakuya, I also hurt you. I owe it to Byakuya and everyone else here to prove that I will not make the same mistakes again. I'm going to do that. Please trust me."

Tetsuya said nothing in reply, but gave him a barely perceptible nod and set one foot slightly back in a ready stance.

 _Tetsuya and I have trained together before. I may be stronger than he is, but it's not a given that I can cut him five times before he does it to me. Without having the added speed my bankai gives me, we're on pretty even footing when it comes to speed. Tetsuya is a little smaller and lighter than Byakuya, so he's wicked fast. His stances aren't as solid, but he uses kido to reinforce his kicks, punches and sword cuts, so when he hits someone, they feel it._

 _Still, the most dangerous thing about Tetsuya is his waterforms. He sets them quickly and can move almost instantly between them. I'll have to control how many he can make as well as where I let him place them._

Ichigo watched for a moment as Tetsuya released his shikai, making copies of him appear all around the fighting area. Instantly, Ichigo let his reiatsu swell around him, blasting through the waterforms before Tetsuya could switch between them.

 _I can't let him surround me with them, because he can switch too quickly from one to the next. The only problem with continuing to destroy the waterforms is that it creates fog. He can use the fog to move around or to hide the creation of additional waterforms. And if I take too long, the fog will turn to ice and weigh my body and sword down. I have to score quickly._

Ichigo flash stepped to Tetsuya's left, then swung his sword, creating a shock wave that forced Tetsuya away and took him off balance. Before he could recover, Ichigo was flash stepping again and striking. His sword slashed across Tetsuya's side, drawing sounds of surprise and concern from the elders. But just when Ichigo was sure he had scored the first point, Tetsuya escaped to a waterform he had managed to secret in the fog. He appeared a moment later, uninjured and striking fast from behind. The tip of his sword slid across the Shiba heir's bare arm. Tetsuya made a sound of surprise as it left no marking. He flash stepped away and turned to face Ichigo, wearing a curious expression.

"Was this _blut vene_?" he asked, "You haven't used it in our training before."

"Well, I wasn't exactly trying to use it now," Ichigo chuckled, "It's something I haven't learned to control. It just kinda happens when I really don't want to be cut."

Tetsuya nodded.

"And from the information disseminated after the war, I know that one using blut vene is only vulnerable to being cut if his opponent uses a perfect cutting edge, which I have, but only in bankai while wielding my ice blades, or if the one with blut abandons it for the purpose of attacking. That is going to make cutting you extremely difficult. However, it is not an insurmountable problem."

"Well," Ichigo said appreciatively, "If anyone can figure out how to get through it, you can. You're a smart fighter."

"And you are a highly instinctive one," Tetsuya said, beginning to circle him.

As Ichigo watched, Tetsuya began creating more waterform copies around him.

 _He knows now that it's risky for me to attack, because as soon as I do, my blut vene will be inactive. He'll have a brief opening, but that's all Tetsuya needs. I need to clear some space for myself and then lure him into attacking. When he does, I have to hit him twice quickly, before he can shift to another waterform._

Ichigo thickened his reiatsu around him, forcing it against a thick group of Tetsuya's waterforms. He felt Tetsuya's movement between the waterforms and swung his blade just in time to meet a sudden attack from the direction he was trying to go.

 _He knew my blut would protect me from that attack. It means he was just trying to keep me from having a safe wall at my back._

Ichigo spun to the side, forcing his way through another group of waterforms, only to be blocked again as Tetsuya shifted to one of the waterforms in front of him. He caught a glimpse of the wall of the fighting chamber and realized suddenly that it was covered with little water droplets from Tetsuya's shikai.

"Damn!" the Shiba heir breathed.

Tetsuya shifted suddenly to a waterform behind him and Ichigo turned instinctively to block his move. He felt Tetsuya shift again and managed another solid block.

 _Why is he trying to hit me? He knows my blut is protecting me. He also knows I'm not going to throw away that advantage. Why then?_

Tetsuya appeared suddenly out of the fog in front of him and brought his blade crashing down in Ichigo's. He locked the two blades together, gazing solemnly into Ichigo's curious eyes.

"What's going on?" Ichigo asked, "You're acting kind of strange, Tetsuya. Are you okay?"

"Your blade is touching mine," Tetsuya answered cryptically, "I know that when you fight, you read the heart of your opponent. Why don't you read mine?"

"I know what's in your heart," Ichigo answered, "You are Byakuya's protector. When I hurt him, I also hurt everyone who loves him. I hurt you, Tetsuya. I'm sorry for doing that."

"You needn't apologize to me," Tetsuya said, his tone indicating another message between the words, "You and I share guilt in having both failed Byakuya-sama in some way."

"You didn't fail him Tetsuya," Ichigo objected.

"Have you ever asked the question why Byakuya-sama has a protector?" Tetsuya inquired, continuing to hold his sword ready.

Ichigo watched closely as Tetsuya loosed a waterform that split into two, one that looked like Byakuya and one that took Tetsuya's form. As he continued, the two waterforms moved, augmenting the noble's words.

"Like you, Byakuya-sama is exceptionally strong and skilled in fighting. He is a strategic thinker, so he knows well how to anticipate his enemy. He takes great pride in his strength and his place at the head of our family. In truth, he is our protector, so, why would he have someone like me, who is weaker than him, being called his protector?"

Ichigo blinked in surprise at the question.

"I never really thought about it," Ichigo confessed, "although, that same thing happens in the Gotei 13, with upper officers being assigned to protect the taichou, although the taichou is often stronger than all of them together."

"The answer is relatively simple," Tetsuya explained, "I am Byakuya-sama's senses, when his own may be obscured. Whether by a nefarious enemy or when deceived by his own heart and instincts, I am here as a mirror he can look into, a compass to reflect his exact position. An enemy aiming at him might overlook me, and in doing so, he undoes himself, because I am less than Byakuya, but I am still a force to contend with. And while his abilities may become known, mine are carefully held in reserve and shown to few. This is the role that I should have played when Soujun disappeared and Byakuya-sama's heart was in despair."

"You can't blame yourself, either for Soujun being lost or Byakuya and me breaking up."

Ichigo's breath caught in surprise and his flash stepped back as Tetsuya tore his weapon free and lunged at him. He parried the attack and sliced at Tetsuya. To his surprise, although he could have deflected or dodged, Tetsuya allowed shoulder to be cut.

"What are you doing?" Ichigo cried, "Tetsuya!"

He was left breathless as a look of agony overtook Tetsuya's lovely face for a moment and he staggered back, panting in reaction.

"What was that?" Ichigo demanded, "Tetsuya, what's happening to you?"

 _For just a moment, it was like he didn't see me at all!_

He started to speak again, but found himself on the defensive as Tetsuya attacked with a flurry of kido enforced kicks and strikes, before slashing with his weapon and surprising him by managing to make a small cut on Ichigo's hand. The Shiba heir made a sound of surprise as everything around him seemed to disappear and a stark, gripping vision flashed in front of his eyes.

 _Byakuya stood alone, facing the gathered elders, his dark eyes calm, but barely hiding the torrent of emotion that roiled beneath them. Nori gazed at him in silence for a moment, then broke the heavy silence between them._

" _We understand that Shiba Ichigo has left you. He will be appearing before us to argue for the dissolution of your marriage," he said solemnly, purposely stopping to allow their leader to explain._

 _Employing the immense internal strength that Ichigo had long ago come to respect, Byakuya took a steadying breath and gave his answer._

" _He has. I know you want an explanation, but this defies any words I could say to you. What I will say is that it takes two people to sustain…or to destroy a marriage. I take full responsibility for this. It was my duty to hold my arranged marriage to Ichigo together, for the good of the clan. I failed to do that, and I am sorry."_

Ichigo took a stabbing breath and staggered back, blinking and holding his sword ready.

"What was that?" he asked, staring at Tetsuya in amazement, "What did you do to me?"

Seeing that he had recovered, Tetsuya flash stepped forward, renewing his attack and forcing Ichigo into a bout of heavy slashes. His reiatsu blazed, battering Tetsuya and interfering with his movements.

 _This is where being so light is going to work against him. He can compensate on his attacks, but his ability to initiate attacks is based on good balance and positioning. My reiatsu is disrupting that._

But despite him having that advantage, Tetsuya compensated capably, setting more waterforms and moving swiftly between them, altering his position to avoid the sweltering reiatsu bursts and nearly landing several blows before Ichigo destroyed a waterform he had been attempting to enter, sending him crashing to the floor. Tetsuya initiated a shift to a new waterform, but not before Ichigo managed two fast flicks of his sword, leaving a small cut on Tetsuya's sword hand.

Tetsuya managed to reach another waterform, but as he took over, he staggered back, gasping and staring through haunted eyes at the cut on his hand.

"Tetsuya," Ichigo whispered, watching closely as Byakuya's cousin quickly composed himself and attacked again.

 _What the hell is going on here? This is more than just me fighting for the right to reclaim Byakuya's hand. Something else is going on here. The way he looks when I cut him…it's almost like what happened to me when I was cut, that vision I saw! It's like it's happening to Tetsuya too!_

He was so surprised at the discovery that his reaction to Tetsuya's next attack proved too slow and Ichigo's defenses were breached again.

 _My blut didn't activate because I was distracted,_ Ichigo realized, scenting blood as a second cut appeared on his side.

The scene in front of him shimmered, and another vision appeared in front of him.

" _I hate you!" six-year-old Torao screamed, tears streaming down his devastated face as he railed at Byakuya, "It was your fault! He left because of you!"_

" _You will still be able to see your father," Byakuya said, holding back all signs of emotion as he knelt in front of their elder son, holding Torao against him, "He did not leave you and Suki. He left me."_

" _Say you're sorry!" Torao howled, "Say you're sorry and make him come back!"_

 _Byakuya took a steadying breath, the calm mask on his face faltering slightly as he answered._

" _I have already indicated that I am sorry for angering Ichigo," he said quietly, "If I could convince him to come back, I would. I did not want him to leave. But as he has, we have no choice but to accept his terms. You and Suki will be able to see him whenever you wish. You are welcome to visit, even stay at the Shiba estate sometimes…"_

" _I want to live there!" Torao sobbed, pounding small fists on Byakuya's shoulder "I hate you for making him mad! I hate you for making him leave! Make him come back! Make him come back right now!"_

" _I am sorry," Byakuya whispered, caressing the crying boy's back gently, "No one can make a person stay if it is not in the person's heart to do so. Ichigo's heart is broken right now."_

 _Torao tore free of him and stepped back, clenching his fists and unleashing the most damaging words he could think of._

" _He should hate you! It's your fault that Soujun got killed. He was with you and you should have protected him. You let Soujun die and that's why Daddy Ichigo hates you too much to come back!"_

 _Byakuya inhaled sharply, freezing as the little boy turned and ran out of the room._

" _Byakuya-sama," Torio said gently, stepping into the room through the inner doorway._

" _Not now, Torio," Byakuya managed in a whisper, waving the attendant off._

" _S-sir, he didn't mean it."_

" _Go!" Byakuya hissed, closing his eyes against the tears that were welling up in the corners._

 _His teeth clenched and he turned his head away to hide his humiliation._

" _Get out!" he shouted, making Torio go pale and back slowly out of the room._

 _Byakuya staggered onto unsteady legs, escaping into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He set his back against it and slid down slowly, panting softly and finally allowing silent tears to fall._

 _Outside the bathroom door, Torio moved forward, staring at the door through devastated eyes as he laid a shaking hand on the dark wood._

" _Byakuya-sama…" he whispered sadly._

"Augh!" Ichigo gasped, snapping back to awareness and blocking as Tetsuya attacked again, "Tetsuya, hold on!"

But the blue-eyed noble fought harder, striking with hands and feet, then slashing with his sword. Ichigo made a defensive move and managed a lucky hit on Tetsuya's leg as flash stepped past. Tetsuya made a strangled sound of pain that seemed to radiate on both a physical and emotional level.

 _It's not just my imagination. It's happening to both of us!_

He glanced at Byakuya out of the corner of an eye and found his expression conflicted. Torio stood close at his side, wearing a look of obvious distress.

"All right, that's enough!" Ichigo yelled at the elders, "What the hell is this? What are you doing to us?"

He went silent, his eyes widening as Nori stood and glared down at them. Tetsuya remained where he had fallen onto his knees, his head lowered and his sword on the ground beside him.

"Shiba Ichigo," the head elder said sternly, "Five cuts have been placed, and as you have placed more by one, you have won the right to remarry Byakuya."

"What?" Ichigo said, giving the elder a confused look, "B-but when you said five cuts, I thought that…"

"I think they know that," Kisuke hissed softly, from here he stood at the edge of the barrier.

"We will file the proper paperwork," Nori said shortly, "Council is adj…"

"What?" Ichigo interrupted, earning dark looks from the gathered elders, "No way! There's no way you're gonna pull something like that and just kick us outta here. That was a shitty thing for you to do! I get that you're mad at me, and if you said you wanted me to suffer for it, I would've understood it. But making Tetsuya and me hurt each other when Tetsuya never did anything wrong…"

"You are out of order, Ichigo," Nori said, his reiatsu thickening, "Your duel has ended and you have won. Pray do not give this council reason to regret giving you this opportunity."

As one, the elders rose, turned their backs and filed out of the room, only letting the barrier drop once they were gone. Ichigo glanced at Byakuya for a moment, but then rushed to Tetsuya, who was in the midst of picking himself up off of the floor. Ichigo wrapped an arm around the shaky noble, steadying him and helping him to his feet.

"You all right?" he asked in a concerned tone, "I don't care why they did it. It was a crappy thing to do to you."

"I understood the rules from the beginning," Tetsuya assured him.

"You _knew_ that was going to happen?" Ichigo mused, "And it was okay with you? Tetsuya…"

"Think about it," Kisuke said stoically, "All of you were hit hard by what happened with Soujun, then by the breakup. No one got off easy."

"But they shouldn't have punished Tetsuya for me doing the wrong thing!" Ichigo insisted.

"They were punishing us both," Tetsuya explained, "because we made promises to love and protect Byakuya-sama, and still he was hurt. But they were also giving me a means to punish the one who hurt Byakuya-sama despite my protection. It was a pathway to saying that, in their eyes, my honor was restored."

"Man, I just don't get them. That was twisted!" Ichigo complained.

"Well," Kisuke said, looking amused, "you did get what you wanted. I guess in exchange, they got to punish the ones they felt were most guilty."

"Huh," Ichigo huffed, meeting Tetsuya's eyes apologetically, "I'm just glad it's over."

He turned his head to look at Byakuya.

"What do you say we go home?" he asked, giving his husband a weary smile.

Byakuya waited silently as Ichigo approached him, then nodded and accepted his hand. The group left the council hall and found Arashi and Byakuya's paint stallion waiting alongside Renji, outside.

"I've gotta get back and check the results of those tests I took," Kisuke said, excusing himself, "I'll be in touch."

"Thanks for your help, Kisuke," Ichigo said gratefully.

"I will return home and make sure that your room is prepared for Ichigo-sama's return," Torio added, before flash stepping away.

"Hey, you all right?" Renji asked as Tetsuya sought his arms and hugged him tightly.

"I'm fine," Tetsuya assured him, "I just want to go home."

Renji helped Tetsuya onto Arashi's back, while Ichigo offered Byakuya a hand, then climbed up behind him. The two horses set off for Kuchiki Manor at a gentle walk, allowing the couples to talk as they rode.

"Will you tell me something?" Ichigo said softly into Byakuya's ear as they rode, "Were those visions I saw what really happened?"

"I do not know what you saw," Byakuya answered, "but yes, what you were shown was the truth."

"How did they do that? How did they make us see those things?"

Byakuya sighed.

"The elders added a touch of my reiatsu to a hypnotic that was seeped into the fighting chamber. Every cut exposed you to one of my related memories. The memories were attracted by your emotions and were meant to inflict pain."

"And you didn't warn me…"

"I did not know until they rendered their decision, whether they were even going to allow us to remarry under any circumstances," Byakuya explained, "I did not like what they did, but it was within their rights to use it as a method."

"Well, it's a pretty nasty thing to do to someone," Ichigo said, frowning.

"It is better than them having required you to fight Tetsuya to the death. If you were a true threat to the clan, that is exactly what they would have done. They see you as an impetuous troublemaker, but you have enticed me into procreating and that has strengthened the clan. Still, they could not let you simply take me back without exacting some price for having insulted them and humiliated their leader."

"It was still wrong."

"Of course."

Ichigo tightened his arms around Byakuya, resting his face against his husband's cheek.

"I'm not gonna leave you again. I promise."

"I know."

"Really?" Ichigo asked half-heartedly, "You can believe me, even after what I did?"

"I feel your resolve," Byakuya answered, turning his head to meet Ichigo's lips gently, "You are committed to healing our family, as I am."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, "I am."

The two were quiet as Ikazuchi carried them back to Kuchiki Manor, where they passed through and dismounted in the courtyard. Ichigo turned to face Byakuya, smiling at him sadly.

"Well, good night, then," he said, kissing his husband's lips tenderly, "See you in the morning."

"Where are you going?" Byakuya asked, looking at him curiously.

"To my guest room…"

"Did you not hear Torio saying that he was preparing my room for receiving you?"

Ichigo blinked in surprise and colored.

"I uh, must've missed that," he confessed, "I was still pissed at the elders for pulling what they did."

"Well, as you have met their terms, we are simply considered married again in their eyes. You have every right to share my bed."

Ichigo sighed and went quiet for a moment. Byakuya studied him silently, then moved closer and slipped warm arms around him.

"What is it?" he asked, "You do not wish to share a room?"

"It's not that," Ichigo whispered, "I just…didn't realize before how hard it was for you. I mean, I knew that you were embarrassed in front of your family. And I knew that Torao gave you a hard time for me leaving. But I didn't have any idea how it all hurt you and you kept all of that inside you. You wouldn't let anyone help you."

"I had counseling."

"You needed me. And I wasn't there," Ichigo said penitently, "I won't let it happen again."

"I believe you, or I would not have offered to sleep with you," Byakuya commented, barely concealing a little smirk.

A smile overtook his lips as Ichigo lifted him off his feet and carried him to the bedroom. Byakuya looped his arms around Ichigo's neck, resting his head on his husband's shoulder as he was carried inside, then deposited on his feet and swiftly undressed. Ichigo curled an arm around him and coaxed him along to the bed, where Byakuya laid down and waited silently as Ichigo undressed and joined him. Byakuya gave him an expectant look and Ichigo smiled and kissed him, pulling him to a warm, muscular shoulder.

"I don't think we should have sex just yet," Ichigo said softly, running his fingers through the lengths of his husband's silken, black hair, "I have some comforting to do. Just sleep for a while. Let me hold you and appreciate what I have."

"Ichigo, you do not have to…"

"I know. I want to."

He kissed Byakuya on the top of the head, embracing him tightly.

"And…when you've had the child you're carrying…I'm gonna have another too."

"Ichigo…" Byakuya said, shaking his head.

His husband's fingertip touched his lips, stopping him.

"I know. It wasn't required," Ichigo answered, "But you know, it was selfish of me to act the way I did about that…that and a few other things. Byakuya, I really want our marriage to work. And for that to happen, we both have to keep trying. This is my way of doing that."

Byakuya considered quietly for a time, then nodded briefly.

"If you wish, then," he answered finally, " _Anata_ , I am…very glad to have you home."

"I'm glad to be here," Ichigo answered, smiling more widely and closing his eyes.

Outside the open garden doors, Aric watched from within the nearby hedges.

 _I want to get closer._

 _I need to know how bad it is._

He started to creep forward, then froze as a hand came down onto his shoulder.


	12. Searching

**Chapter 12: Searching**

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 **(And she's back! Just escaped from under a pile of RL work. So happy to be writing something fun! Thanks to Adalie Delacroix (Good catch! I did use a slightly different version of the 'trial of five cuts' in This Thing That's Not Quite Love! Which reminds me, that's another I should really update, as it's nearing the end...), Yukino76 (Yes, Ichigo is definitely committed now to fixing things.), Ashesofthefirststar (I do have a little bit of an evil twin side! And yes, Ichigo is coming to terms with how selfish he was before. He wasn't meaning to be that way. He was actually pretty freaked out and scared when he had Soujun. But instead of confiding in Byakuya about his fears, he bottled them in true Ichigo fashion and he just depended on Byakuya to have the children or not. He will absolutely face his fears now...maybe sooner than he thinks! And the storyline will be taking some interesting turns. :) Watch out for some nasty cliffies here and there. There tend to be more as the action gets going!), Cubone262005 (The family will come together, but lots is about to happen too!), Tmp3475 (Aric will be there when Byakuya finds himself in a tense situation...soon!), Tiffany91 (A lot will happen on a number of fronts now...), Parnita (Yeah, my muse is a little sadistic sometimes! lol), Jaundrie (Well, I will keep up with the updates. Glad you enjoy the stories!), and Hisuiryuu (I definitely couldn't turn down a naked and willing Byakuya!) Enjoy the new chapter!)**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

Aric would have cried out, but for the hand that clapped roughly over his mouth and the familiar voice that hissed in his ear.

"Stop it! It's me… _us_ ," Little B hissed, "I thought you were going to step out of the hedge. There's a guard over there!"

"Oh…" Aric whispered, looking in the indicated direction and feeling an instant swell of gratitude, "Thanks, Little B! But you scared me to death. I thought you were Heilgar!"

"You're lucky I wasn't," Little B whispered back, "While we were looking around for you, Lukas and I found Heilgar out with some of his scumbag buddies. They were looking for shinigamis to capture!"

Aric stiffened.

"Were they near here?" he asked urgently.

"Kinda. But we lured them off away from the ones they were tracking."

"Good," Aric sighed, glancing back at Byakuya's open garden doors again, "I don't want them using my power to hurt anyone else."

He smiled at Lukas.

"Thanks, guys."

"You're welcome," Little B answered proudly, "Now, we should get our asses outta here before we get captured. Come on, you…"

Little B broke off suddenly as a tall, red haired girl stepped out of one of the bedrooms and Lukas suddenly went still and round-eyed.

"What the…?" Little B mused, "What's wrong with you, Lukas?"

He peered out of the bushes as the lovely, doe-eyed girl wrapped a dark cloak around her slender shoulders and brushed a few stray autumn hairs away from her face.

"Ah…" Lukas managed dizzily.

Little B exchanged perplexed looks with Aric.

"Oh my god, you've got to be _kidding_ me!" Little B groaned, wiping a hand over his face, " _Stop that_ , will you? You're being ridiculous. That girl's gotta be five years older than you, and she's a goddamn _shinigami_!"

"Sh-she's really pretty," Lukas stammered.

Aric smiled and shook his head ruefully.

"Come on, Lukas," he said more kindly, taking the younger boy's hand, "Little B is right. It's not safe for us to stay here."

They paused, peering out of the hedge as a second shinigami girl and a boy arrived.

"Tora," called the other girl, "Matsuko-san says breakfast is ready for us. Are you coming?"

"Coming!" the red-haired girl called back, flash stepping to join her cousins.

"Tora," Lukas whispered dazedly.

"Will you come on!" Little B laughed, "We need to get out of here."

XXXXXXXXXX

Ichigo laid in bed, curled warmly around Byakuya's naked back and gently rubbing his very slightly rounded belly. His eyes reflected hints of sadness as he watched his husband shift and moan unhappily.

 _Byakuya never used to have trouble sleeping. And he was always up before dawn, out the door and training, first with Tetsuya, then with Renji and me. I guess I don't have to ask when things changed._

He nuzzled, then kissed the side of Byakuya's neck and found the area uncharacteristically dampened with a light sheen of sweat.

"It's okay now," he whispered, letting his reiatsu seep into the spirit chamber where their baby grew, "I'm with you."

Byakuya shivered, then let out a relieved breath and drifted more deeply into sleep. Ichigo's arms held him close and his fingers made little comforting circles on Byakuya's soft belly.

 _I wonder if it'll ever be like it was before. I don't know how it can be, after everything that's happened. But I want to try to mend what we can. And I want to make things right between Byakuya and me. I know that just convincing the elders wasn't enough. I have earned the right to be his husband, but before I make love to him, I have to convince him that he can trust me to be there for him and for the kids. It's not too much to ask. He's been there for everyone, even me, while I was running away and refusing to face everything._

 _I still believe that Soujun is alive, but I see now that I have to take care of the rest of the family too, even if I keep up the search for him. And now, if I can show Byakuya I'm committed to us and to our whole family, I won't be alone in searching._

"Is it time to get ready to go?" Byakuya asked sleepily, opening a dark eye and focusing on Ichigo.

"Whenever you're ready is fine. How's your stomach? Any nausea?"

"Not at the moment," Byakuya answered, sitting up and meeting Ichigo for several warm kisses of greeting, "It is better with you being so attentive."

Ichigo felt a twinge of guilt and shifted uncomfortably. Byakuya noticed his reaction and squeezed his hand.

"I did not mean it that way," he assured his husband, "I only meant that…"

"I know what you meant," Ichigo assured him, "and even if I didn't, you don't owe me explanations or assurances. I left you. I promised to love, honor and cherish you, but I didn't do that. I got angry and I didn't even try to work things out with you."

"But you did," Byakuya objected, "Ichigo, all along you were open with me about how much our son's disappearance was hurting you. And even though you chose to leave, I am sure that there were better choices I could have made as well, more effort I could have put into holding things together. You cannot tell me that if I had not withheld that information from you that you would still have left. That act…"

"It didn't cause this, Byakuya," Ichigo said, his head bowing penitently, "I just had all of these pent up emotions…fear, sadness, rage…and I couldn't turn them on a person or thing that was responsible."

"That is because, if we are honest with ourselves, Soujun was in my care. I was his guardian on that journey."

"Byakuya…"

"I was responsible for seeing that he reached Karakura Town safely, and I failed to do that."

"We both know that what happened wasn't your fault," Ichigo insisted, "I _never_ blamed you."

"No," Byakuya sighed softly, closing his eyes, "Instead, you bottled that emotion, held it inside you. And everything that followed only caused the pressure to build. Each blind corner we turned in the search for Soujun, each failure to learn his fate, all of it led us to the point where the pressure inside you was too much to hold back anymore. All it needed was a spark to ignite it, and I gave you one. Ichigo, we will not get anywhere with either one of us claiming all of the innocence or guilt. A marriage is the joining of two people, and its success or its failure is the result of the choices those two people make."

"But…I left you," Ichigo reminded him, "I walked out on you."

"And," Byakuya said in a barely audible voice, "I did not even try to stop you except in asking you not to go."

Ichigo paused for a moment, breathing in Byakuya's sweet, soothing scent.

"Do you really think you could have stopped me?" he asked, reaching down to continue rubbing his husband's warm belly.

"It does not matter," Byakuya said firmly, "If I just let go without giving my best to mending things, then in the end, we both gave up on each other. We each bear a weight of responsibility in this."

The two looked up in surprise as the sound of slow clapping emanated from the bedroom doorway and they found Hinata leaning against the door frame and observing them through slightly narrowed eyes.

"Bravo," he congratulated the two as Ichigo scowled and shifted the blanket to better cover them, "I think my work may be done here without me having to do anything much at all."

"We don't _need_ you barging in on us and listening in on our conversations!" Ichigo snapped.

"Good morning to you too, my little ginger-haired snapdragon," Hinata said pleasantly, "You don't know how much I have missed seeing you on a regular basis. I have had the pleasure of spending lots of time with your lovely and very depressed husband, soothing his hurts and listening as he unburdened his tragically broken heart."

"Don't you have something better to do than snoop around here?" Ichigo complained.

"Oh, I have many better things to do than to stand here and entertain your biting sarcasm and burgeoning anger. But we have work to do, don't we? I am here for an initial assessment of the current state of your… _relations_."

"Byakuya, did you know he was coming over?" Ichigo asked.

"He is a bit early, but not terribly so. It is only a short assessment of our marriage that can be done before we leave."

"Oh, and where are you two little love birds flying off to?" Hinata asked, smirking.

Ichigo started to give a sarcastic response, but Byakuya touched his arm lightly and he took a flustered breath and went silent, his eyes sparking.

"We are revisiting the place where Soujun disappeared," Byakuya explained, "After so long, there are not likely to be any clues that have not been cleaned away, however it is a place to begin. We also have a site in Hueco Mundo we will be examining."

Hinata nodded.

"But there is a reason that you are doing this now?" he asked, "I ask for completely professional purposes, of course."

"Of course," Ichigo muttered, rolling his eyes petulantly.

"We are doing this now," Byakuya continued in an unruffled tone, "because of an odd occurrence in Hueco Mundo that could possibly allude to our son still being alive and in the hands of an enemy."

Hinata's eyes widened.

"That could be very good news for you," he concluded.

"It could be," Byakuya agreed, "We will be investigating together with our children."

"Well, I certainly can't argue with a family mission," Hinata said approvingly, "and I don't think I want to delay you in getting started on that."

"You don't?" Ichigo inquired, frowning slightly.

"Of course not, darling," the counselor said, smirking, "Working toward a common goal is good, just…don't forget that it's not what you do when you _agree_ that matters the most. It's what you do when you _disagree_ that shows the true state of things. Keep that in mind and this could actually work out for the best."

Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes again, but refrained from commenting as Hinata took his leave of them.

" _Au revoir_ , love," he said, inclining his head towards Byakuya, then adding a more off-handed, "and to you too," in Ichigo's direction.

Ichigo shook his head irritably, but managed to quell any insulting words.

"You want to have something to eat before we go?" Ichigo asked as Byakuya let out an amused breath and headed for the dressing area.

"I am quite hungry," Byakuya admitted, catching his husband's appreciative gaze in the full-length mirror.

Ichigo moved closer and turned to face Byakuya.

"Where's Torio?" he asked, sliding his arms around his slightly flushed husband and meeting him for a long, open-mouthed kiss.

"Mmmm, Torio is aware that my reiatsu is riled," Byakuya answered, smirking slightly, "probably from the numerous infusions. They do tend to have that effect."

"Your heart's beating really fast," Ichigo noticed, kissing him again.

"Well, it does tend to do that when you offer me your affections."

Words gave way to deeper kisses and more intimate touching that left Byakuya feeling light-headed and swaying slightly. Ichigo noticed a little tremor in his body and paused, frowning.

"Hey, you're going kinda pale. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Byakuya assured him, "I think it is just another of those odd spells I seem to have. But there is nothing to be done really, until Urahara Kisuke finishes his analysis."

"C'mon, let's get you back into bed," Ichigo urged him.

"I will be fine. I just…need a moment."

"Get back into bed, will you?" Ichigo said more stridently, wrapping his arm around Byakuya and guiding him to the bed.

Byakuya sat down on the edge of the bed, then laid down on his left side, curling around several pillows as his heart continued to throb and race.

"Ichigo-sama," Torio said, appearing in the doorway, "do you want me to bring our healer?"

"Yeah," Ichigo said worriedly, "and get a message to Kisuke. These episodes seem to get worse each time."

"Ichigo, I will be all right," Byakuya insisted, "and we need to look for signs of Soujun's…"

"Stop it!" Ichigo exclaimed, ust close your eyes and breathe slowly, okay? Don't think about anything but breathing."

"I feel quite dizzy," Byakuya admitted, "I th-think I might…"

"Byakuya?" Ichigo called worriedly, watching in dismay as Byakuya's body went limp in his arms, "Byakuya!"

He looked up and sighed in relief as Michio and Torio hurried into the room.

"I've sent a hell butterfly to Urahara-san," Torio assured him as Michio leaned over Byakuya and Ichigo rolled his husband onto his back.

"He just passed out," Ichigo explained breathlessly, "His heart was racing like crazy. Michio, what's going on?"

"I am not sure," the old healer admitted, "This is not related to the pregnancy, so it must be related to the condition that Urahara Kisuke is investigating."

"Damn it!" Ichigo swore, "I wonder what's taking so long with those tests. We should have heard something by now!"

"I am sure we will hear something very soon," Michio said reassuringly, "And while we wait, we will just need to keep Byakuya-sama comfortable and as relaxed as possible."

"Well, right now, he's unconscious. I don't know about you, but I think that's a little too relaxed."

Ichigo's attention was drawn back to Byakuya as his husband shifted and moaned softly.

"His heart rate is coming down again," Michio observed aloud, "The spell seems to be ending."

"Byakuya?" Ichigo called urgently.

"Ichigo?" Byakuya mumbled sleepily, opening his eyes, then squinting and blinking to bring the room back into focus.

"You had another one of those fainting spells," Ichigo explained, "How are you feeling?"

"A bit foolish," Byakuya admitted, sitting up slowly, "I feel fine now, like nothing happened."

"Well, something definitely happened," Ichigo said stridently, "Your heart was racing too fast and you passed out. Byakuya, these things are getting worse!"

"I understand that," Byakuya assured his anxious husband, "but I am fine right now. We should leave now if we want to…"

"Leave?" Ichigo repeated incredulously, "We're not going anywhere. We need to stay here. You're not well, Byakuya. We can't be traipsing around in enemy territory when we don't know when the next one of these things will happen. Look, we can continue the search for Soujun later, when you're…"

"No, Ichigo," Byakuya said insistently, "We need to follow up on the lead in Hueco Mundo while the trail is still relatively fresh. This really cannot wait. You know that."

"You're not going anywhere," Ichigo said stubbornly.

"Then, take the children and go without me!" Byakuya persisted, "This is important too. I will…stay here and I will not get out of bed. I will wait for Urahara's answer and I will not move until I receive it."

"You won't get out of bed?" Ichigo repeated, narrowing his eyes, "You promise you'll stay here and rest?"

"I will let Torio spoil me completely," Byakuya assured him.

"I won't let him out of my sight, and I will message you immediately if there is any news," Torio promised.

"Please, just go," Byakuya urged him, "Ichigo, our son could be alive, and this could be our last opportunity to bring him home. You have to go and investigate this."

Ichigo hesitated, his eyes locked on Byakuya's and his own heart pounding. He took a steadying breath and, with an effort, brought his burgeoning emotions under control.

"Okay," he said reluctantly, "I'll take the kids and we'll check this out."

"Ask Tetsuya to go with you," Byakuya suggested, "Renji will probably want to go along as well, and they will be useful if there are any problems."

"Sure," Ichigo answered, gathering himself, then climbing to his feet and hurriedly dressing.

His worries eased slightly as Toshi arrived, bearing a tray of hot food and Byakuya made a sound of relief and dug into the huge meal. Ichigo watched for a moment, then took Torio aside.

"You contact me immediately if there is any trouble," he said sternly, Doesn't matter how small or insignificant it seems. If he sneezes too hard, I want to know about it."

"I understand," Torio said soothingly, "I promise you that I will inform you right away if there are any changes in his condition."

"Thanks, Torio," Ichigo said, nodding and moving back to Byakuya's side to offer him a parting kiss.

"Be good, all right?" he said reprovingly, "You let these guys take care of you. We'll check this thing out and be back before you know it."

"I will be right here," Byakuya promised.

Ichigo stepped out of the bedroom and found their worried children waiting just outside.

"What's wrong with Daddy Bya?" Suki asked insistently, "We heard he passed out!"

"Byakuya is all right," Ichigo said calmly, "Torio, Toshi and Michio are taking good care of him. You know he's having a baby. It throws his body out of whack, so we just have to let him stay here and rest while we go on this little mission. Look, I need you guys for focus, okay? We're going into enemy territory, so all of the training Byakuya and I have done with you? This is when you're going to use it. Come on now."

"But…Byakuya," Torao said uncertainly.

"He will be fine," Ichigo said firmly, "He wants us to go because he really can't right now. We're not going to let him down. If there is a chance that we can pick up Soujun's trail, we need to do that. Byakuya's every bit as invested in this as the rest of us, but we're going to have to do this without him. Can you do that for him? For us?"

Suki, Torao and Tora exchanged tentative glances, then nodded in affirmation.

"Sure," Torao answered for them, "Okay."

Ichigo looked back at the bedroom doorway a last time, then opened a senkaimon and led the children inside. In the nearby bushes, Aric turned to Little B and Lukas.

"Guys, you need to follow them."

"Whoa, what about you?" Little B asked, "We're not going anywhere without you!"

"You have to make sure that Heilgar doesn't cross paths with them," Aric insisted, "I am going to try to find out what Byakuya's condition is. He's obviously worse if he is not going with them."

"Aric, this is really dangerous!" Little B objected, "Who is this guy that you're risking your life just to help him? You don't even really know him!"

"That's the thing," Aric explained, "I feel like I do know him. And…because I don't remember a lot of things, maybe he is someone I knew before I was taken by Heilgar. I have to find out. But his family needs protection."

"All right. All right, we'll take care of it, right Lukas?"

Lukas gave the other two boys a conflicted look. Aric smiled.

"I'll be all right," he assured the younger boy, "Go with Little B."

"Just don't get in my way," Little B scolded Lukas teasingly, "and don't get us captured."

"I won't," Lukas promised.

"Yeah, unless that Tora girl bats her pretty lashes at you," Little B huffed, "Let's go."

Aric watched as they left, then moved close enough to the bedroom so that he could hear the voices of the ones within the room. He listened for several minutes, then settled in the bushes, trying to think of what to do next.

 _I think I need to talk to him. If these guys would just leave so I can slip inside…_

He heard footsteps on the walkway and caught his breath sharply as he recognized the Karakura Town shopkeeper and the two men who accompanied him.

 _Ishida Ryuuken and Kurosaki Isshin? Why are they here?_

He listened carefully as the three entered the room.

"Urahara Kisuke," Byakuya's voice said, bearing an edge of uncertainty, "I will assume this means that the test results were not good."

"They were not only not good," Kisuke answered ominously, "They were pretty damned worrisome. Byakuya…you need to let us take you to Karakura Town, and we need to go now."


	13. Silverheart

**Chapter 13: Silverheart**

Aric carefully kept his distance as he followed the three shinigamis and the quincy doctor through the precipice world and on to Urahara Kisuke's shop. The four seemed unnaturally quiet, giving Aric time to think more deeply about what was happening.

 _They said it's very bad, and if the king's father is involved, Byakuya must be dying. I know it's got to be my reiatsu that was on the arrow Heilgar struck him with. I think because Urahara-san seems so worried, he must not know what it could be or what to do about it. That's why the other doctors are there._

He bit his lip gently, his insides suffering a pang of guilt.

 _I should tell them. I know I should. But Little B seemed so sure that if I was caught by anyone loyal to the king, I would be killed. If Heilgar was telling the truth about me being Ywach's grandson, then…then, I think they would kill me. The shinigamis probably would too._

 _I don't know what to do!_

He waited quietly, pressing his back against the dark, shadowed wall as the others passed through the exit, into Urahara Kisuke's underground training area. He knew better than to follow through that exit, but instead slipped through another that was close by. He approached the shop, sensing the area carefully to avoid the angry boy who had found him on his last visit. He paused for a moment, steeling himself, then invoked his stealth ability, using the shadows to hide himself, before moving forward and creeping into the shop.

He heard voices in the hallway and moved past the counters that held the candy that the shopkeeper sold. His heart pounded as he stepped into the hallway and a tall man with thick glasses suddenly entered through another door and walked by within inches of him.

 _Thank kami it was a shinigami. I have to watch out for Ishida-san. He will sense me if he comes close to me because he, too, is a quincy._

He heard voices emanating from a room at the end of the hall and slipped into an unoccupied room next door, where he could hear what the ones within were saying.

"Urahara Kisuke," Byakuya said solemnly, "I think I have been quite patient enough, waiting until we arrived to ask you any questions. But I do need to know. Are you going to tell me that there is danger to my child?"

Kisuke cleared his throat softly.

"If you look here at the monitor, you can see the counts for your blood and reiatsu. I also did a full body scan that searched affected areas of your body for anything that could be causing these fainting spells."

"And?" Byakuya prompted him.

"And I wish I could tell you that I knew _how_ it was happening. I know _what_ is happening, and Ishida-san was able to then explain that it is a sort of quincy power. It seems to be related to the injury you received."

"The quincy arrow that struck your heart," Ryuuken explained, "was tainted with something. I think if you were a quincy, I would be able to understand the source. The closest I can come is that it bears a resemblance to what happened when Ywach used Auswhalen to take back the power he had given his sternritters. When he took that action, a silver clot formed in the hearts of the sternritters, and they died."

"And you say this is what is happening to me? There is a silver clot in my heart?" Byakuya asked with unexpected calm.

The other three men exchanged perplexed looks.

"Actually," Isshin said, noting Urahara's distressed expression and uncharacteristic loss for words, "the physical state of your heart is being affected."

Byakuya's eyes narrowed and he stared back at Ichigo's father wordlessly.

"Your heart," Kisuke said softly, " _is turning to silver._ "

Byakuya gave him a confounded look.

"That is not possible!" he whispered in a shocked voice, placing a hand on his breast, over his heart.

"It gets worse," Kisuke added, forcing the words out, "Byakuya, although the state of your heart is not affecting the use of your powers, your pregnancy is putting tremendous pressure on your system that is speeding up the transformation."

"What are you saying?" Byakuya asked breathlessly, his face going white, "Are you telling me that I will lose my child?"

Kisuke's eyes closed and he swallowed against the lump rising in his throat. Noting his reaction, Ryuuken stepped in.

"I have been able to stop the advancement of the silver clot in several of the remaining sternritters," he explained, "I am sure that I can find a way to reverse this as well. But we need to find a source. We need to know what was used to make the poison on that arrow. I have a suspicion."

"What is that?"

"Word has reached Uryu that there is a boy who is part of a rebel group, and is responsible for the poison. He has been called Ywach's grandson, although no one knows if he is any true relation. Perhaps if we can find the quincy rebels and either convince them or force them to tell us about this boy, I can put the pieces together and save you."

"Save _me_?" Byakuya repeated, meeting Ryuuken's eyes warily, "What about…?"

"If we allow the pregnancy to go forward," Kisuke said in an unsettled tone, "everything will advance more quickly. Those spells you are having? They are going to get worse, and every time you have one, it could be the last."

He moved closer and placed a hand on the noble's arm.

"Byakuya…"

"I am _not_ going to abort this _child_!" Byakuya snapped forcefully, "Do not dare even ask me to do that!"

Kisuke's body stiffened.

"You need to think about the kids that you have," he went on, his voice shaking softly, "Think about Ichigo. Think about your own life! Because, if you try to do this, it's very likely that you are going to lose _all of those things_! The only chance you have, and even that chance isn't much of one…is to let me evacuate the spirit chamber and end this before it's too late!"

"No," Byakuya answered firmly, closing his eyes.

"Byakuya…?"

" _I said NO_!" the noble hissed venomously, "And yes, I _would_ rather we both died than to even consider taking this child's life!"

"You need to listen to Kisuke. Think about your other kids," Isshin urged him as Kisuke's head bowed in defeat, "Do you want Torao and Suki to grow up without you? They need you too!"

"They have their father," Byakuya said numbly, "It will be difficult for them, but I have raised them to be strong."

"You should listen to what they are telling you," Ryuuken said, his blue eyes radiating deep concern, "All three of us have examined all of the data and we have reached the same conclusion."

"None of that matters to me," Byakuya said solemnly, placing a pale hand on his abdomen, "I am not aborting this child, and that is _final_."

"Don't you think that Ichigo should have a say in this too?" asked Isshin, "He is your husband."

Byakuya's expression hardened and his eyes darkened.

"My _husband_?" Byakuya repeated mockingly, "For the past seven years, that man has _abandoned_ me! Ichigo has _no right_ to make this decision for me!"

"Huh," Isshin huffed, crossing his arms and giving Byakuya a skeptical look, "I guess you really haven't forgiven him, have you?"

"I accepted his apology and he did prove to the elders his intent to honor our new commitment," Byakuya said, frowning.

"But you're still holding a grudge,. I'm right, aren't I?" Isshin accused him, "Byakuya, I know all about being stubborn. I invented the concept. But, you…"

"This is _not_ about me just deciding to be stubborn!" Byakuya seethed, wincing as his heart pounded angrily in his chest, "There is a life that must be protected here!"

"No," Ryuuken said gently, stepping in between the two, "there is _one life_ we can protect and there is one _we cannot_. Will you really throw away any chance you have of living in exchange for this child who cannot be?"

Byakuya closed his eyes against the ice that roared through his insides, stinging until there were tears trying to free themselves and he could feel that he was shaking.

"I need to think about this," he whispered, turning away, "I will be in the shop gardens."

The other three men exchanged perplexed looks as the noble exited the room.

"What are we gonna do about him?" Isshin mused, shaking his head, "He's always been stubborn, but…"

"This isn't a matter of stubbornness," Ryuuken said solemnly, "It was in his eyes. He is already bonded with this child. It is understandable that he would instinctively fight for both of them."

"The problem is that we have no assurance he can be saved either way, but with the added stress on his body, the situation is pushed from improbable to probably impossible," Kisuke sighed wearily.

"Do you think I should go and get Ichigo?" Isshin asked.

"No," Kisuke said, waving him off, "He hasn't had time to absorb this himself. He's definitely not ready to have to explain to the kids. And the kids are with Ichigo and will know something's going on."

"Well, he needs someone," Isshin insisted, "He's not going to listen to any of us…"

"But there is someone he might be more receptive to," Kisuke said, looking up as Tama entered the room.

"Kisuke, what is going on?" Tama asked worriedly, "Byakuya just passed me and didn't seem to notice I was there."

"Yeah," Kisuke said wearily, "I'm sorry, love. The test results that came back were really not good. Byakuya's got a difficult decision to make and I think you might be the only one who can help him."

XXXXXXXXXX

"I guess we should've expected that there wouldn't be any clues in the precipice world," Ichigo sighed, leading the others into a garganta, "It's just been too long since Soujun disappeared."

"Add to that, that Byakuya-sama would have had the best chance of sensing something, as his sensory powers are stronger than ours," Tetsuya added as he laid down a bright, smooth reiatsu path for the others to follow.

Ichigo studied the smoothness and shine of the pathway the noble had made and shook his head ruefully.

"Man, I still don't know how you and Byakuya can do that and it looks so perfect. Mine's always sloppy."

"It's fine," Tetsuya laughed amiably, "People like you and Renji have a more feral reiatsu that doesn't work as well for this kind of thing."

"You're saying that Renji's reiatsu path is as sloppy as mine?" Ichigo asked.

"Shut up! It is not," Renji snapped, earning amused looks and little snickers from the three teens, "O-okay, maybe it is. But you shouldn't be harping on that. Who the hell cares if the path is very smooth, as long as it stays under you?"

Tetsuya blushed.

"I'm sorry, _anata_. I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't," Renji said, bumping playfully against his shoulder, "I just always get a little riled when I get compared to Ichigo."

"You and Ichigo are like brothers in some ways," Tetsuya observed, earning a curious look from the two men, "but it is more than just the raw power and feral nature of your reiatsu. You both love fiercely and you are very protective."

Ichigo stopped walking for a moment, a guilty look rising on his handsome features. Tetsuya moved closer, meeting his eyes bracingly.

"You are impulsive sometimes, but in the end, you are exactly who Byakuya-sama and I both love and need."

"I don't know about Byakuya needing me," Ichigo sighed, shaking his head, "I really haven't been there for him. And he seemed to get along okay without me. I don't know…"

Suki approached Ichigo and slipped her arms around him, reminding him painfully for a moment about how Byakuya's arms felt wrapped around him that way.

 _He's such a strong person, but when he held me sometimes, I could feel that he needed me as much as I needed him. The truth is that sometimes it scares me because without him there, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Yeah, we really do need each other. Why did I even think that walking away was an option?_

"Dad," Suki said softly, "Daddy Bya always wanted you to come home. And when things were hard, he always told us how we had to stick together. He told us how that was what got you and him through the things that happened when Torao and me were born."

Torao bit at his lips, giving the two a look of guarded agreement. Ichigo took a steadying breath and kissed Suki on a soft cheek.

"Come on. We need to keep looking."

He led the others through the dark underground cavern, his mind working as they approached the exit point and dropped out onto the cold, dark sand. Suki shivered as she observed the broken ledge where Byakuya had fallen and Torao uncharacteristically took her hand in his. Tetsuya and Renji flash stepped across the small divide and began to examine the rocky ground on the other side. Ichigo and the three children examined the area where Byakuya had been standing, flinching uncomfortably at the little remaining traces of his blood and reiatsu on a number of the rocks. Finding nothing telling, they moved on.

"Now, the arrow came from behind Byakuya, right?" Ichigo asked.

"From over there," Torao said, pointing.

The four moved in the direction the youth had indicated.

"He stepped out of those rocks and attacked from behind," Torao remembered.

"Daddy Bya was distracted," Suki recalled, "or I'm sure he would have sensed what was happening."

"Yeah, he would've," Ichigo agreed.

Ichigo examined the tall, craggy rocks, reaching out to touch a jagged edge with his fingertips, his mind continuing to turn over events.

"I don't sense anything," Tora admitted, "Do either of you?"

"Try closing your eyes and focusing," Ichigo advised them, "It's something Byakuya taught me, to get me more in tune with my senses. It really does help."

The four closed their eyes and focused quietly for several moments, until Torao made a surprised sound and opened his eyes wide.

"I _feel_ something!" he exclaimed, "I think it's like…it's… _white_."

"I feel it too!" Suki agreed emphatically, "Do you feel it, Tora?"

Their cousin gave them a mystified look.

"No," she admitted, "I don't sense anything."

"I do," Ichigo said, his eyes widening, "This is quincy power. The guy who attacked you was _definitely_ a quincy. That's why we can sense him, but Tora can't."

He frowned, furrowing his brow.

"Come on, let's go over and give Tetsuya and Renji a hand. They're not quincies, so if there's more over there, we'll need to be the ones to find it."

He led the three children across the divide, where they joined Tetsuya and Renji.

"Did you find anything?" Tetsuya asked.

"We found nothing over here," Renji added.

"Torao, Suki and I sensed quincy reiatsu over there," Ichigo said, pointing, "But the kid that Byakuya spotted was somewhere on this side of the divide.

"So, that explains why, if there is anything here, Tetsuya and I didn't sense it," Renji concluded.

"It's that quincy reiatsu is really hard for shinigamis to sense," Tetsuya reasoned, "Even if we know it is there, it is still difficult."

Ichigo stepped away from the others as Suki and Torao began to pore over the rocky ground near Renji and Tetsuya. For several minutes, the cliff top was quiet as the three worked feverishly to find some trace of the mysterious boy that had caught Byakuya's attention. Just as Ichigo began to feel desperation setting in, his fingers touched a place that resonated deeply. He sucked in a surprised breath as a heartbreaking image rose up in front of his eyes.

" _C'mere, Soujun," he called, extending a hand, "Time to go."_

"Oh my god!" he whispered, stricken, as he dropped to his knees, not feeling at all the painful sting as the rocks tore into his flesh, "Oh my god…oh my god…oh my god… _Soujun_!"

 _This is why Byakuya sensed something about the kid, but wasn't sure! He would have sensed the shinigami content in Soujun's reiatsu, but not the quincy part. It felt like Soujun to him, but he couldn't be positive without touching him._

 _It was Soujun that Byakuya saw!_

He turned back to call to the others, only to be stopped as two boys stepped out from from behind a nearby dune, shouting desperately to Ichigo and the others.

"Watch out!" Little B screamed, raising a shield in the space between Tetsuya, Tora and Renji and a group of approaching quincies.

"The rebels!" Ichigo gasped, "Suki! Torao! Get out of there!"

Suki shrank back and Torao stepped in front of her, beginning to raise a shield of his own. To his horror, a hail of quincy arrows soared towards them, closing in too rapidly for him to fend off.

"Suki!" he cried, covering his sister's body with his.

A scream of pain escaped him as an arrow sank into the back of one slim shoulder.

"Torao!" Tora howled, blazing back to her cousin's side as Suki jumped to her feet and prepared to defend them.

Sounds of surprise and dismay escaped the two girls as quincy hirenyaku sounded and strong arms took hold of them.

"Let go of them!" Torao snarled, trying to climb to his feet.

"Get down, you dog!" one of the quincies scolded him, striking him hard on the back of the head.

"Let them go!" Lukas yelled, giving chase as the men escaped.

"Suki! Tora!" Ichigo, Renji and Tetsuya called out together, racing toward the fallen Torao.

A short distance away, Heilgar grabbed Little B's arm and glared down at him.

"You little roach! You are coming with me!"

"Lemme go, you asshole!" Little B cried, struggling.

A jolt of reiatsu shocked his slender body into stillness.

Ichigo, Tetsuya and Renji reached Torao and Ichigo dropped to his knees at his son's side.

"Torao!"

"I-I'm okay, Dad," Torao said, smiling up at him weakly, "Go and get them! Hurry!"

"Tetsuya and I will go," Renji offered quickly.

"Torao needs medical help," Tetsuya insisted.

"But you can't track the quincies!" Ichigo objected.

"We can track Tora," Tetsuya promised, "We will find them. Please, Ichigo-san. Trust us."

Ichigo swallowed hard, looking down into Torao's pained eyes. He lifted his son gently and opened a garganta.

"All right," he agreed hesitantly, "I'll go back. I will find you once I'm sure that Torao's okay."


	14. Pendulum

**Chapter 14: Pendulum**

Tama stepped out into the shop gardens and his worried grey eyes found Byakuya, standing with his back to the shop and his gaze directed up at the moon, where it peeked through a gathering of dark and thickening clouds. The reiatsu around his son radiated calm, but of a forced nature, and under which he could feel a quiet storm of troubled emotion. He advanced in slow steps, well aware that Byakuya had sensed his approach, but giving his son time to silently prepare himself for the uncomfortable conversation he knew they must have. As he reached Byakuya's side, his turned his own eyes upward to the sky, focusing on the bright moon.

"I assume that Urahara Kisuke has told you about my condition?" Byakuya inquired softly.

"He has," Tama confirmed.

Byakuya let the silence hang between them, pausing to watch slender ribbons of black that crept across the white of the moon.

"I see."

Byakuya glanced at Tama apprehensively.

"And what do you think I should do?" Byakuya asked.

Tama looked back at his son through saddened eyes, considering his words carefully.

"Segare, it isn't my place to tell you what is the right thing to do. You know your own heart and what your conscience will bear. And you know that you have my support as you make your decision."

Byakuya sucked in a pained breath and released it in a shudder.

"And how does one make a decision like this?" he whispered wearily, Suki? Torao? Soujun, if he is alive? Ichigo? This baby? Myself? Whose needs do I address? Because, no matter how I answer that question, someone will suffer the consequences."

He continued to draw and release slow, steadying breaths.

"You know, it is ironic," Byakuya went on, "About fifty years ago, it was me comforting Hisana as she tried to decide the very same thing in regards to our unborn son."

"That must have been extremely painful for you," Tama acknowledged.

"And, of course, you would know about that. You knew, when my father was carrying me, that it was weakening him."

Tama thought for a moment, then nodded in agreement.

"Granted, we didn't know that Soujun would be weakened enough to be killed by that hollow. But I was aware that there was a sacrifice being made in bringing you to life. Byakuya, there is no right answer to something like this. There are only choices. You and Ichigo must weigh your options carefully and decide together what you will do."

"Ichigo," Byakuya mused, closing his eyes, "You know that he will side with his father and the others."

"Son," Tama said, laying a warm palm on Byakuya's cheek, "They are not taking sides against you. Kisuke, Ryuuken and Isshin are medical professionals, just telling you what your best chances of survival are. Ichigo is your husband. Despite all of your difficulties, you know that he loves you, and he will be terrified of losing you."

"And Suki and Torao would not understand it if I chose to risk dying with this child," Byakuya said dispiritedly, "What none of them understand is that, although this child in me is not a reality to them, he or she is very real to me. I feel the unique touch of this child's reiatsu. I feel that little soul reaching out to touch mine. From the moment that a new soul becomes aware of other souls, it does not want to be alone. Even not being cognizant of life and death, this child desires life. For me to be responsible for choosing to end that life…it is a great burden to take upon my heart. And my heart is already dying."

Tama stared at Byakuya, lost for words. He was spared having to speak as Hinata entered the room, wearing an unusually serious expression.

"I apologize for interrupting," he said solemnly, "but Urahara-san thought I might be able to offer assistance to Byakuya."

Tama gave the counselor a hopeful smile.

"I am sure Byakuya will appreciate the support," he said, embracing his son briefly, then exiting the room.

Hinata approached Byakuya and stopped in front of him, studying him briefly before nodding and sighing.

"You are in no state to be considering _anything_ ," he said firmly, "Before your headstrong husband arrives, I think you need to put yourself in a calmer frame of mind."

"I am calm," Byakuya insisted, "That is why I came into the gardens."

Hinata gave him a skeptical look and his eyes glowed bright golden. They locked on Byakuya's, freezing him in place as the counselor invoked his hypnotic power.

"Nemuri," Hinata breathed softly, sliding his arms around Byakuya and supporting him gently as his eyes went cloudy and unfocused, "When your life is out of focus and your heart is conflicted, remember, _breath is life._ You need to breathe. Breathe slowly and deeply. Breathe now."

Byakuya drew in a deep breath.

"When you inhale, bring in the calm, the quiet, the whispers of breath and life. When you breathe out, let go of everything else. Think only of breathing, of bringing the air into your body and sending the spent breath out into the world to be revived."

Hinata went quiet for several minutes, continuing to hold Byakuya against him, and whispering into his ear as the two breathed slowly together. Gradually, he felt Byakuya relax against him and he smiled bracingly.

"Much better."

A moment later, Byakuya stiffened as the house door flew open and Ichigo ran out into the gardens. Hinata loosed an agitated sigh.

"There goes all my hard work," he sighed, releasing Byakuya.

"Byakuya?" Ichigo said, frowning, "What's going on?"

Byakuya gave Hinata a meaningful glance and the counselor sighed again.

"I think that's my cue to leave," he commented dryly, heading for the house.

Ichigo waited until Hinata had left and the two stood alone, under the shining white moon.

"What happened?" Ichigo asked again, "Byakuya, you look really rattled."

Byakuya looked more closely at his husband and tensed at the sight of blood on Ichigo's sleeves and the front of his clothing. He paled as he sensed the reiatsu of the person whose blood it was.

"Torao?" he whispered in a shaken voice.

"He's gonna be okay," Ichigo assured him, "He was hit with a quincy arrow when we were attacked while checking out that place where you were injured."

Byakuya blanched.

"A quincy arrow?" he repeated, his hand rising to touch his breast, over his heart, "But…"

"If you are wondering whether or not that arrow was poisoned with the same reiatsu as the one that struck you, the answer is yes," Ryuuken said, stepping out into the gardens to join them, and followed by Kisuke, Isshin and Tama, "However, interestingly and fortunately, it seems that whatever has been used to infect him has not been activated, as it was in your case."

"Whoa!" Ichigo gasped, "Wait a damned second! Byakuya's got this stuff in him too?"

"Yes, son," Isshin answered solemnly, "And in Byakuya's case, the poison is causing a reaction that is slowly turning his heart to silver."

"What?" Ichigo managed, giving his husband a stunned look, "You didn't tell me that…"

"When you arrived with Torao," Kisuke explained, "we were most concerned with making sure that he was gonna be okay. And besides, it isn't our place to interfere. You and Byakuya have a lot to talk about. We're gonna let you do that."

He nodded to the others.

"Come on. Let's give them some space."

Ichigo waited at the others left, then turned his gaze back onto his husband.

"Byakuya," he said in a haunted voice, "tell me what's happening to you."

"It is…as they said," Byakuya confessed, looking down at the small, rounded place on his abdomen, "The quincy reiatsu that I was poisoned with is slowly changing the state of the cells of my heart. You remember that when Ywach used the Auswhalen on the Sternritters, it caused a silver clot to form in their hearts and they eventually died."

"You're… _dying_?" Ichigo whispered, staring in horror, "You and…?"

"Our child is not affected by this poisoning," Byakuya went on, "The pregnancy is advancing normally and my powers have also not been affected."

"But…?"

"But there is no telling exactly how long it will be before my heart can no longer function," Byakuya continued, surprised at the growing steadiness in his own voice, "These spells that I have are getting worse, and Kisuke and the others have assured me that any one of them could be my last."

"Oh god…" Ichigo breathed, moving forward and wrapping his arms tightly around his husband.

Byakuya gave a long sigh and relaxed in his arms, hugging Ichigo back with equal fervor.

"They're gonna find an answer," Ichigo said stiffly, "You know they won't give up until they do. Kisuke _always_ comes through for us!"

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "Unfortunately…the pregnancy is adding significant stress…shortening the amount of time that they have to…Ichigo, they have advised me to…"

Byakuya's voice failed him and he gazed at his husband silently as the truth dawned on Ichigo.

"You told them no," Ichigo speculated, "didn't you?"

"I started to," Byakuya admitted, "It is natural to want to defend the life of my child, but I realized that it would not be fair to make such a decision without you. The stakes are too high and no matter what we choose, we are going to lose _someone_. I already know what you are going to tell me. I understand. I am real to you. I am here in front of you. We have a history together. Right now, I understand _everything_ you are thinking…because fifty years ago, I was faced with the same predicament with Hisana, and I know what I felt when she was gone. I do not have the right to put you through that agony. So, if you ask me to, I will…"

Byakuya's words stopped and his jaw stiffened, his eyes closing against the rising emotion.

"If it is what you want…" he tried again, stopping as his throat tightened painfully.

"Of course it's not what I want," Ichigo whispered, hugging him crushingly, "I remember what it was like to carry Soujun inside me. I know you're already bonded and it's gonna be really hard. I remember how it was for you every time we tried to get you pregnant and couldn't, and I know this is a million times worse. But, Byakuya, I need you. I just can't do this without you. Everything's falling apart around us and all we have to get through this is each other."

"I know," Byakuya whispered, "and I am here for you, for Suki and Torao. I just…need a moment…to say goodbye."

"Of course," Ichigo said, sliding a hand down to rub Byakuya's slightly rounded belly, "I will go and tell Kisuke. You take as long as you need. And Byakuya, I'm sorry. I really am. I wanted this baby too."

Byakuya nodded silently, watching as Ichigo left the gardens. A soft wind blew through the trees, fluttering his hair and the ends of his clothing as he looked down at the reflection of the cloud enshrouded moon. He rubbed his belly gently, breathing slowly and closing his eyes as he connected with that precious bit of growing life.

"Little one," he whispered into the breeze, "I feel you there and I know you recognize me also. You do not yet know the words for what we feel when we are connected this way, but I will tell you that this feeling is called love. You are loved so much that you were called out of nothingness and made real because of the love between Ichigo and me. Every day since we learned of your conception, we have welcomed your arrival. And your presence was a powerful force in bringing the two of us back together after we separated. I thank you for that. I am…so sorry that I will not be able to show you my gratitude."

Byakuya went quiet, listening to the tree branches and leaves shifting and looking up as the clouds in front of the moon thickened.

"I wanted so much for you to join your brother and your sister, to become a part of our growing household. I wanted to watch every day as you grew and changed and explored your world in greater and greater depth. I wanted to see your face…your hair and flesh and eyes, to see your smile and hear your voice. There are a thousand things that I wanted to say to you, stories I wanted to tell you. I would give you all of that if I could, but that is just not possible. I feel selfish, favoring my own life over yours, but it would also be selfish to allow my life to end and to leave Ichigo and your siblings alone when they need me here with them. This is a painful choice and I ache because I know you cannot hate me for it. You do not understand hatred or anger or anything dark. You are leaving this world, pure and unspoiled by it. Just know that you were a part of it, and that you brought good things to the world in just the short time you were here. I will still feel your presence when you have gone and I will still remember how it felt to touch your growing soul. In that way, you will never leave. You are wanted and loved. You will always be loved…and…all of us that would have been your family…will miss you."

Byakuya paused for a moment to gather himself, then started to turn, only to freeze in place as the tip of a quincy arrow touched his back.

"Don't move," a youthful male voice instructed him, "I heard what you said and I can't let this happen. You have to come with me if you want to save your baby and yourself."

"Who are you?" Byakuya asked, holding perfectly still, "Are you the boy I saw?"

"Yes. No more talking. You are coming with me and I am going to force Heilgar to tell me how to heal you."

"My husband and family will be worried," Byakuya reasoned with the youth, "and my health is uncertain. I am being cared for by…"

"I know who is caring for you," Aric said sternly, "They are friends of the quincy king and they will kill me if they find me. The only way to do this is if we find Heilgar and make him tell us how to heal you. Be quiet now. Come into the shadows with me. I promise, I won't let you or your baby die."

"How can you promise me that?" Byakuya asked cautiously, "Who are you that you can give me that assurance?"

"I am not sure," Aric admitted, "But…Heilgar, the leader of the quincy rebel force says that I am Ywach's grandson."

XXXXXXXXXX

"So," Ichigo said, looking at Kisuke through devastated eyes, "you can't even tell me for sure if ending the pregnancy will save Byakuya's life?"

"We can't be completely sure. No," Kisuke confessed, shaking his head, "But what I can tell you is that if Byakuya continues the pregnancy, he will not survive even long enough to have the baby. This really is protecting the life we may have a chance of saving. I wish that I knew a way of saving your baby too, but this…"

Ichigo let out a long, shuddering sigh.

"If I could, I'd have this baby for him," he commented sadly, "Unfortunately…"

He went silent for a moment, staring curiously at the way Kisuke's frown suddenly deepened and his brow furrowed in concentration.

"What is it? What did I say?" he asked.

Kisuke took a shaky breath, wondering if he dared to speak his thoughts.

"You think you have some kind of way?" Ichigo persisted, "Cause if you do…"

"Maybe," Kisuke said unsteadily, "I might. But you need to tell me right now if you meant what you just said."

"Huh?" Ichigo said, looking at him blankly.

"You said that if you could have this baby for Byakuya, you would," Kisuke reminded him, "Did you really mean that?"

"What the hell? Of course!" Ichigo snapped, "You think I don't want this baby as much as Byakuya does?"

"No, no, it's not that," Kisuke said, raising his hands defensively, "It's just that I distinctly remember you saying…"

"Forget about that," Ichigo said, narrowing his eyes, "Whatever I have to do, I'm gonna do it. If you can find a way to let me have the baby, I'll do it."

"Okay, I'll work on that," Kisuke said, nodding, "I'm not sure it can be done, but…"

"You'll find a way," Ichigo said with certainty, "And in the meantime, I have to tell Byakuya about the girls being taken."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Kisuke asked, "We don't want him putting strain on himself, you know."

"We can't keep a secret like this from him and we can't keep him from going to look for the girls. We are Suki's parents, and there's also Soujun to think about. We can't do anything for Byakuya yet, but we can try to save our kids. I'll keep him close to me, and at the first sign of trouble, I'll bring him back, okay?"

"I don't know," Kisuke said worriedly, "but if you are going to insist, then I want you to take this."

He withdrew a small black capsule from within his clothing and handed it to Ichigo.

"What is this?" Ichigo asked, accepting the pill and studying it carefully.

"If Byakuya's heart stops, you have to force that down his throat right away and get him back here. It'll put him in a state of suspension and buy us time to try to save him. Keep that pill close to you and use it if you have to."

"I will," Ichigo said, slipping the capsule into his pocket, "Thanks, Kisuke."

"Don't thank me yet," Kisuke warned him, "We still may be screwed, but at least we have a little hope."

Ichigo flash stepped out of the laboratory and ran back through the house, emerging into the gardens and sliding to a stop, staring as he found the gardens empty and a note on the ground, next to the koi pond. He picked it up and his breath caught as he felt again the touch of Soujun's reiatsu.

 _Shiba Ichigo,_

 _I have taken Byakuya to the rebels to force their leader to help me heal him. If I agree to give myself up, they will probably heal Byakuya, but I do not trust they will free him. I will not make my path hard to follow. Please, make sure that you come quickly. Heilgar will kill Byakuya as soon as he has me under his control. And when that is done, he will want to use me to hurt more people. You must do whatever you can to stop him from doing that. I plan to make sure he can't use me anymore, but I can't get Byakuya free. I need you to do that. I am sorry for all of this. I am sorry that I was used to hurt you and your family. Please forgive me. I never meant for anyone to get hurt._

Ichigo dropped the piece of paper and looked around. He spotted the small rift leading into the shadows and charged in, his fists clenched and his eyes deadly.

 _I'm going to find this guy who has hurt our family…who stole Soujun, who injured Byakuya and who has taken Suki and Tora! I am going to find that man, and I will destroy him!_


	15. Crossed Fate

**Chapter 15: Crossed Fate**

 **(Lots of requests for this one, so there will be more soon! Love to all, Spunky)**

Byakuya moved quietly through the shadowy passage that the quincy youth had opened, his dark eyes shifting to catch glimpses of the boy's handsome face and blue-violet eyes. He felt the tension in the boy's presence that warned him not to make demands, but instead considered carefully before attempting to break the silence that opened up between them. He thought for several minutes, then took a steadying breath and addressed his youthful captor.

"Am I allowed to know your name?" he asked quietly.

The boy swallowed hard and looked back at him warily.

"It's Aric," he said finally.

Byakuya nodded briefly.

"It is unfortunate to meet under these conditions, Aric. I hope you know what you are doing."

"I'm doing what I have to," the boy said shortly, his eyes betraying growing worry.

Byakuya's damaged heart twinged in his chest and a slight dizziness made him stumble. He made a sound of surprise as the boy reacted instantly, wrapping a steadying arm around him. His surprise deepened to amazement as the physical contact resonated powerfully in his mind,

 _This boy's reiatsu…it feels so much like…like our Soujun._

"Are you all right?" the youth asked in an anxious tone, "Maybe I shouldn't have done this, but I didn't know another way. Those men with you before have their hearts in the right place and they are capable. It's just that the power that was stolen from me and used to hurt you isn't something they can stop. Heilgar has already used it to kill a lot of humans, hollows and even quincies. He has a plan to kidnap shinigamis so he can poison them too! He wants to start another war with the shinigamis, and he wants to use my power to do it! I have to stop him!"

Byakuya leaned on the boy's shoulder as they crossed over into a wooded area and the passage behind them closed.

"Sit down for a minute and rest," the youth urged him.

Byakuya dropped onto his knees beneath a small plum tree and the boy knelt in front of him.

"I'm sorry," the boy said, more softly, "I wouldn't blame you if you hated me for this."

"It sounds as though you had no knowledge of the planned use of your power, and were not possessed of a means to stop the person or persons responsible," Byakuya said calmly, "And despite the fact that you have forced me to come with you, you seem to have done this with good intentions."

"Yeah," Aric sighed, "but good intentions are only half of doing the right thing. Good intentions only matter if the results are good too. I just hope that…"

Byakuya froze for a moment, remembering.

 _I have said these very words to our children many times. This boy…could he be…?_

Aric gave him a surprised look as Byakuya's hand touched his arm gently.

"You seem determined to help me, and I sense respectable power in you. You said that you have been referred to by this Heilgar as Bach's grandson?"

"That's who Heilgar tells me I am," Aric confirmed, "but I think that's a lie."

"Why is that?" Byakuya inquired.

"Well," the youth said uneasily, "I can remember only so far back. About six years. I mean, I was told that my parents were killed by Bach in the Auswhalen."

"But you do not believe that?"

"W-well, for the longest time, I wasn't sure," Aric confessed, "But Lukas, my attendant at the rebel camp, told me that he overheard Heilgar admitting that he stole me from someone."

Byakuya's heart skipped at the admission, and his mind replayed the powerful feelings he had, looking into the boy's face just before his injury, as well as the resonant feeling he had experienced when he had touched the youth.

 _His face, his voice, his reiatsu…they are all like Soujun's. But whether this boy is our child or not, he has been through something terrible. It would not be good to put stress on him. We will discover the truth together._

"It must be difficult," he acknowledged softly, "to have become separated from your identity. Have you found any clues as to who you might be?"

"No," Aric sighed wearily, "I don't have any idea. Until just recently, all of that didn't seem real. I questioned my feelings and the dreams I've had. Until Lukas told me what he had heard…I…thought I must be imagining things."

"It does not sound to me as though these feelings you have should be dismissed."

"No," Aric agreed, "but I don't know what to do about them."

Byakuya nodded and continued to hold Aric's hand in his.

"Then, let us make a pact," he said softly, looking into the youth's frightened eyes, "You will do your best to help me overcome the use of your power, and in return, I will use all of the resources at my disposal to help you know yourself again. Does that sound fair to you, Aric?"

"It's more than fair," Aric said in a trembling voice, "If I were you, I don't know if I could trust the person whose…"

"You have told me that this was a use of your power that was against your will, and you have shown with your actions that you want very much to make things right. We have the same interests at heart, Aric. I trust you."

Aric wasn't sure how, but he found himself smiling shyly.

"I trust you too, Kuchiki Byakuya."

He looked around and took a steadying breath.

"I think we'd better go. We need to get help for you quickly. Are you feeling well enough to walk?"

"Yes," Byakuya answered, accepting the youth's hand and rising slowly to his feet, "But Aric, I think it would be best if we sought someone else's assistance in our quest."

Aric gave him a distressed look.

"We' can't go to the quincy king or his father!" the youth insisted, "They would kill me!"

Byakuya read the desperation in Aric's face and proceeded cautiously.

"We do not have to include either of them, and the person I am considering is not someone who would have motivation to betray you to the shinigamis either. He is probably on of the most intelligent scientists of this age, and if anyone can help figure out how to counteract the effects of your power."

"You're referring to Urahara Kisuke," Aric realized, "But…he is a friend of the Ishidas!"

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "But he is also a personal friend of mine. He will not let you be harmed."

"I…I don't know," Aric said, wavering.

He placed a hand on his forehead and shut his eyes tightly.

"I didn't ask for this power!" he whispered, tears leaking from the corners of his closed eyes, "I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"I believe you," Byakuya assured him, "but if we are to…"

"ARIC!" howled a younger boy's voice in sheer panic.

Aric's eyes few open and widened as the younger boy burst from the nearby trees and ran to join them. He skidded to a stop and bent over, panting, before delivering his message.

"Aric, Little B and the two shinigami girls have been captured!" the boy managed.

"What?"

"Shinigami girls?" Byakuya repeated, "You cannot mean…?"

"Your daughter and her cousin!" Aric exclaimed, "Little B and Lukas stayed behind to watch out for them while I came to find you!"

"Heilgar has my daughter and Tora?" Byakuya asked in an alarmed tone.

His hand moved to his breast, where his damaged heart pounded fitfully.

 _We must rescue them! Stopping Aric's power that is ravaging my body will have to wait. I just hope…_

"We're going back right now!" Aric hissed, his eyes flaring, "I will make Heilgar…!"

"I do not think that the man who stole you years ago and has used you to support his reign of terror is going to be unprepared for you to rebel," Byakuya warned him, "Aric, we need help to free Heilgar's prisoners."

"We have to get them out of there!" Lukas sobbed, "Heilgar is going to poison them with your reiatsu, like he did to all of the others! You saw how they died, Aric. You can't let Tora die like that!"

He paused, noting the odd look Aric and Byakuya gave him.

"O-or the others!" he added, blushing brightly, "I talked to the two shinigamis who were following us and I let them into the shadows, so they could spy on the camp."

"That was good thinking, Lukas," Byakuya complimented him, "Can you take us to the camp? Can you take us to Tetsuya and Renji?"

Lukas nodded emphatically.

"I also ran back to find Little B's parents," the attendant reported, "I know you didn't want them involved, Aric, but Little B is in trouble and we need all of the help we can get to fight Heilgar."

"Who, exactly, are your friend's parents?" asked Byakuya.

"They're former Sternritters!" Lukas said excitedly.

"Former officers?" Byakuya repeated, giving the boy a troubled look, "The Gotei 13 not aware of any of the Sternritters surviving the Auswhalen."

"It's Officer Bazz-B and Commander Haschwald," Aric informed him, "They managed to survive and they returned to the shadows. I think they had help to stop the silver clot in their hearts. They don't support the rebels, but they live in the woods, away from everyone."

"And your friend, Little B, is their son?" Byakuya inquired.

"Yeah," Lukas confirmed.

He gave Byakuya a worried look.

"You're not gonna hurt them, are you?" he asked, "They don't want to hurt anyone. They wouldn't help Heilgar and they don't want to fight in another war! They're helping because they want to save Little B."

Byakuya considered quietly for a moment.

"Officer Bazz-B did work with us once before and he kept to his word about not attacking us. I believe that the fact his son is among the prisoners is enough to assure me he will not attack me or my family. I am not as sure about Haschwald. He was the right hand of Bach."

"Well, now he seems very quiet and kind of sad," Lukas explained, "Bazz-B said he was destroyed by Bach, so I don't think he'll do anything bad."

"I suppose I have no choice, but to trust your assessment," Byakuya concluded, "I have to save my children. Both Suki, who was taken and Torao, who was also stricken by one of the tainted arrows."

"Heilgar was really mad and he killed one of his own men," Lukas reported, snffing, "He wanted to kill everyone he had captured, right then."

"But, he didn't hurt the girls, did he?" Byakuya asked, his voice betraying a note of anxiety.

"No, not yet. He yelled a lot, but then he just had the prisoners dragged away and tied up."

"It'll be all right," Aric said quickly, "There…there is something, some ceremony Heilgar has to do, using me, to make the poison activate. He won't hurt the prisoners, and he can't hurt Torao that way unless he has me."

"A ceremony," Byakuya mused, frowning, "and then a power that activates, causing the target or targets to die. Aric, you said that Heilgar called you Bach's grandson, did you not?"

"That's what he said, but it's a lie," Aric insisted.

"Bach was able to infuse others with his reiatsu, and when they died, in whatever manner, their souls, their memories and an imprint of all of their abilities were given to him. When you were used before for this ceremony, do you remember feeling any different after?"

"No," Aric said with certainty, "I didn't feel any different at all. I felt the same, just groggy because Heilgar always knocks me out for the ceremony."

"Hmm," the noble murmured, considering carefully, "Bach, himself did use his own powers in those two ways. He granted increased power to the Sternritters in exchange for taking their power back and killing them in the Auswhalen, but for enemies like me, he just infused the fighting grounds with his reiatsu so that we were immersed in it. And those who died in the war, lost their souls to him. It does sound like your power is very similar."

"You think Heilgar was actually telling the truth?" Aric said, looking alarmed, "That can't be! Lukas, tell him! You heard him say that I was…"

"There are other possibilities," Byakuya said, touching Aric's arm lightly to stop his objections, "Remember that Ishida Uryu was named Bach's successor, so the power was supposed to pass to Uryu. There may have been someone else given or possessing a measure of that power. You could still have been stolen. And if Heilgar somehow knew about whatever gave you this power, it would have been his motivation when he abducted you. In any case, we need to move quickly, and we need to keep you safe. Lukas, please lead us to the others. Renji and Tetsuya need more help to free our missing family."

Lukas nodded and turned back the ay he had come, leading Byakuya and Aric through thick brush and heavy tangles of trees. Aric's sharp eyes noted the unsteadiness in Byakuya's movements and remained close at his side.

"I wish there was something I could do to help you," he said softly, keeping his eyes focused on Lukas's small, swift form, "I feel awful that Heilgar is doing this to you. I know that he keeps saying the shinigamis are our enemies, but I watched you a lot. You're not at all like he said. Your family is just like a quincy family…just…you're shinigamis."

"We are not that different," Byakuya agreed, "and our family knows that very well. If you have been watching, then you know that my husband, Ichigo, is part human, part hollow, part shinigami and part quincy. Ichigo was not aware of his quincy blood, and he was not raised like a quincy, but he has quincy abilities…some of them like…"

Byakuya trailed off, frowning as a thought occurred to him. Aric gave him a curious look.

"What is it, Kuchiki taichou?" he asked in a concerned tone, "Are you all right?"

"I am fine," Byakuya assured him, pausing to study him more closely and straining his confused mind, "It is just that Ishida Uryu visited Ichigo recently."

"The king was in Soul Society?" Aric exclaimed, shivering visibly, "You say he visited Shiba Ichigo? What did he say? Does he know about me? Does he want to hunt me?"

Byakuya paused, thinking deeply for a moment.

 _I do not know if it is good to tax this boy's mind with too much. He is already confused and frightened. But…how do I explain? How do I tell him?_

"Uryu was not there to hunt you," he said finally, "He went to Ichigo to warn him that he had sensed some of Bach's power had not died with him. He informed Ichigo that he may have been gifted with some of Bach's dying reiatsu, which Ichigo carried in his body. If this proves true, it might have passed to our children."

"You mean Suki and Torao might have…?"

"No," Byakuya corrected him, "Suki and Torao were examined, and they do not carry the former quincy king's power. If they and Ichigo were the only ones to consider, then Uryu's and Ichigo's fathers would simply treat Ichigo so that Uryu could use the Auswhalen to retrieve the power of the king."

Aric's face paled.

"But…I also seem to have that power!" he gasped, "I would be…"

"We will not let that happen," Byakuya promised, "Aric, I am going to make sure that you are treated as well, and I promise you, Ishida Uryu will not want to kill you."

"How can you promise that?" Aric asked, his voice rising into a frightened sob, "I told you he already used me to kill people! And if King Uryu takes his power back, then I will die!"

"No," Byakuya insisted, "Please, trust me. I will protect you."

"Why? Why would you do that? I'm no one to you. I'm a quincy who is being used to try to kill you and people you love! Why would you do anything for me? I kidnapped you…I…I…"

Byakuya took the youth's face in his hands and looked deeply into his eyes.

"Aric, you must listen and you must hear me. I think that I know why, when and how Heilgar abducted you. You are not Bach's grandson. You are not just a quincy and you are not my enemy!"

Aric stared back at the noble, tears running in streams down his sheet white face.

"What? I don't understand. Please…how…? What are you telling me, Kuchiki Byakuya?"

"Aric, there is a reason that I went to search in Hueco Mundo that day I saw you and Heilgar attacked me. There is a reason that seeing you made me freeze and distracted me. There is a reason you felt drawn to me…and why you want so much to protect me, even though you do not remember me!"

"Why?" Aric sobbed collapsing into Byakuya's arms, "Please, why?"

"I have told you that Ichigo was given a portion of Bach's power when Bach was killed. And I explained that this power could be transferred to our children.

"B-but Suki and Torao…"

"Suki and Torao are not our only children," Byakuya said, brushing his tears away, "We had a five-year-old son who was stolen from us six years ago. Our beautiful son, Soujun, who would be your same age and could carry the power that you do…our boy was taken, and we were never able to find him…"

Byakuya's breath caught as he felt the truth streaming through his body from end to end.

"You are our son, mine and Ichigo's. I was confused because we thought he had died a long time ago. But the more I am with you, the more I feel it. You are not Aric, grandson of Juha Bach. You are our Soujun, Shiba-Kuchiki Soujun. That truth cannot be held back anymore!"


End file.
